[X&Y Emily] How Do You Beat The Post-Breakup Blues?

Published: Sat, 06/22/24

Updated: Tue, 06/25/24


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IN THIS EDITION:  When a difficult relationship finally ends, it can
really send your emotions into a tailspin...maybe even causing a full-
scale case of the blues.  How about some real, live ways to get
through that tough time (without maxing out the card or ODing on
chocolate?)

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MAKE THE COMEBACK AFTER A BREAKUP


Who says you have to wait forever to get back out there and
socialize?

Sure, you don't want a "rebound" relationship, but that doesn't
mean you're doomed to sitting around by yourself watching
reruns.

You can start meeting men--the RIGHT ones--and bypass all
of the mistakes of the past, once and for all.

All at YOUR pace.  On YOUR terms.

If you're all about putting the past behind, kissing old patterns
goodbye, supercharging your confidence and getting on the
path to a blissful relationship with a man who treats you right,
then now is the time to put Scot and I to work for you as your
personal trainers for finding true love.

All it takes is a brief 25-minute call to make sure it's a great
fit.



https://www.deservewhatyouwant.com/talktous/



From there, get ready for a NEW set of patterns to unfold that
finally feel RIGHT for a change.

We've helped hundreds of men and women find love since
2005.  Your success story is next!



https://www.deservewhatyouwant.com/talktous/



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HOW DO YOU BEAT THE POST-BREAKUP BLUES?


Hi Emily:

I don't know how old you are or how much experience you have with
guys and what not (don't mean to be snotty, I just simply don't know).

So, just trying to to grasp what's going on - on your end in Texas.

I am 50 years old...  have been married for 23 years, will be
separating and divorcing, we can't take each other's ways anymore,
we "rub" each other....  and I will be back out in the dating
world, I guess if I want.
 
My issue these days is that we haven't touched for 3 years and I
am love hungry ... not meaning wanting to get laid all
the time...that is SOOOOOOO not me.
 
I will be separating, divorcing, haven't had a car in 5 years, not
sure which direction my career is going in, have a 16 year old,
live in Washington State for as long as I can stand it (the rain
and weather suck), need a tummy tuck, etc. etc.  

I am a fairly pretty gal.  It's my being so uptight during this time
frame that everybody is telling me to relax. 

Too many things going on in my head with everything...  in fact, I
think I might be too uptight for a dude to be around me right now...   

I have the long blonde/white/brown hair, blue eyes...  surfer chick
look (literally)...  I am just always so dang uptight lately...
everybody is telling me to relax.....     

But I don't drink, i don't smoke, I do exercise... so I'm kind of in
a dilemma right now...  And I don't fall into the bitter category,
more like tired category.  lol
 
But my confidence is kind of low, because I need a tummy-tuck, but
that's only $5500....   just a drop in the bucket?


Carolyn in Washington State



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Hello Carolyn and thank you so much for writing.

Thanks for reading also.  Keep doing so and I'm sure you'll get to
know us better.  We're pretty easy going around here.

To answer your question about my background more specifically, I
just turned 48 earlier this month.  I have been married, divorced
from a man who was diagnosed with a severe mental illness and
and now married again to a man I adore.  Lots of dating in between.
 
Now Carolyn, let's talk about YOU.

For starters I do hope you'll get right back out there and start
dating once your divorce is final.  I've seen too many women let
themselves wait too long and become bitter.

Even if you are fighting off bitterness pretty well for the time
being, there's no sense in tempting fate.

Rest assured you don't have to (nor should you) jump into another
serious relationship right way. 

As for feeling tired and a bit down, just getting out of the house
and staying active (as it sounds like you already are by nature) is
actually the first step...and HALF the battle.
 
I realize it's so difficult given what is transpiring in the present, but
my suggestion would be to find a hobby or a pastime that can help
you relax.

Something active and especially outdoors is GREAT for this.  Even a
simple gym membership can do wonders, though.  It's all about the
endorphins.

I can fully understand being uptight considering what you have been
through lately.

But being relaxed and upbeat cannot be underestimated.
 
In fact, you already sound like a vivacious woman with a lot to offer,
so put away any "limiting beliefs" about being an active part of the
dating world again. 

Let there be no more "ifs" for you, just "whens"!

Believe me, you are way too young to 'retire' just yet. 
 
Making some new guy friends to share adventures with shortly after a
divorce isn't only a great way to get out of the doldrums, it's a
fantastic way to realize first hand that you really CAN still attract
attention from guys.

Importantly, that's ALSO a great way to prove to yourself that there
really are some great men out there long before negative thoughts
have a chance to overtake you.

Online dating is a GREAT WAY to jumpstart all of this.

So many women around age 50 email me thinking they are "too old" or
whatever, then we get them set up online with a great profile and
they are invariably shocked by how many guys are interested! 
 
And don't worry a bit.  I've got TONS of ideas on how to make sure
you attract the RIGHT guys.

By the way, I wouldn't sweat the tummy tuck too much. 

Just be sure to take care of yourself, inside AND outside. 

Instead of $5500 for the tummy tuck, I have a series of hints for you
that may sound silly but are each WAY less costly.

Yet each does AMAZING things for your outlook on things.

First, go to a really excellent hair stylist and get a new style that's
a complete change from the usual.

Then, go to a salon and get your fingers and toes done.

THEN spend $100-$200 on the sexiest lingerie you can find and
WEAR IT (even to work).

AND...if and when you find the nerve, go get a "Brazilian" full
bikini wax. 

I had never had one of these until I met Scot, and WOW have I felt
sexy since!
 
The most important part is to believe you are sexy and desirable
then FOLLOW THROUGH!  You'll love the results.



 




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