EMILY McKAY'S KEYS TO BLISS NEWSLETTER

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WHAT'S INSIDE:  Are you REALLY going about meeting
"Mr. Right in the best way possible?  Or are you just spending
too much time with "Mr. Maybe"?

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ARE YOU DATING "MR. MAYBE"?


I'm not sure where exactly it happened. 

But somewhere along the way our culture decided that "dating" was
synonymous with "having sex". 

At the very least it's viewed as such in the narrow minds of enough
of the general population to keep tons of self-conscious people all
over the fruited plain from dating more than one person at a time.

And if that's the prevailing mindset, the way most of us operate is
understandable. 

After all, we as women tend to be more than just a little
protective of our reputations.

Meanwhile, on the guys' side, there's a deep-seated fear of being
branded a "player"...often easily rooted out by a few well-placed
questions from a woman on a first date.

What does all this fear lead to? 

You guessed it.  People tend to date one person at a time--sometimes
for months or even years--only to ultimately decide that the person
they're with isn't The One.

So my question is a simple one. 

How in the world is someone--man or woman--supposed to effectively
figure out what he or she even really wants from "Mr. or Mrs.
Right" when he or she is burning so much time hanging out with "Mr.
or Mrs. Maybe"?

And can we change our collective mindset to one where "dating"
several people at once isn't only acceptable, but preferable?

For starters, I think it's time to broaden our perspective.  I
think it's time for a real, live re-evaluation of exactly what
"dating" should be for.

But first of all, let's clarify what dating shouldn't be. 

It shouldn't necessarily be "practice marriage", especially not on
the first date (!) or shortly thereafter. 

If you are still looking at every date as a "marriage interview", I
wouldn't be surprised if you ran into beaucoup frustrating, if not
quite awkward moments out there.

Second of all, dating doesn't have to be placed in a box with a
particular label on it.  Not by any stretch of the imagination.

If you're into high-pressure, formal mood-killers like Ye Olde
Dinner And A Movie, allow me to teleport you to the 21st century. 

First dates should be more interactive and fun...with plenty of
opportunity to actually get to know each other.

After all, let's face it.  Unless you're trying to intentionally
limit your dating pool to people you work with and/or those whom
your mother sets you up with, the "get to know you" part is going
to be paramount.

And with literally everyone jumping on the online dating bandwagon
these days, who in their right mind is still relying on "dipping
their pen in the company ink"?

There are over 3 billion MOTOS (Members Of The Other Sex) out
there...most of them single!

So what about online dating?  When you meet someone you've been
talking to online, that first meeting can't even really be
considered a "date" if you think about it.

After all, you should only be meeting casually at that stage to
figure out if there's any basic chemistry going on there at all.

That's it.  No stress, no strain.  And certainly such meetings are
without the necessity that any sex is going to be taking
place...right there in Starbucks. 

Now if the sparks fly, so be it.  But my point is that this isn't
even really "dating" yet.

And how about if there ARE sparks?  Should there be wedding plans
after the first date?

It sounds silly to even contemplate, doesn't it?

Ultimately, I'd recommend LOTS of dates with lots of people before
entering into an exclusive relationship with someone.

There are two great reasons for this.

First, life is too short to evaluate potential partners one at a
time.  Meeting and interacting with numerous people gives you a
chance to find out what your real preferences are when it comes to
guys, as opposed to your pre-conceived ones. 

And amazingly, it's uncanny how having several options when it
comes to your mixed-company social life begets amazing confidence. 

You don't cling so desperately to each individual "opportunity",
and therefore you magically become more attractive to MOTOS in
general.

Nothing succeeds like success, right?

Second, exclusive relationships should be meaningful.  Why cheapen
the experience by giving it away so quickly?  Take time to get to
know someone fully before selecting that person to the exclusion of
all others. 

Make exclusivity count.  If you fall in love, be sure about it and
LOVE BIG.

Explain your philosophy to anyone you are "dating" who appears to
be pressuring you into exclusivity too quickly.  Be honest with the
men you meet along the way, and rest assured that it will typically
result in real respect and even heightened attraction.

Now that sounds to me like the path of someone with real depth.
And I don't see any downside to that.




 




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