TEN YEARS AGO TODAY…I married the love of my life
Emily.

Time has flown, yet at the same time we both agree that the last
decade has been the most action-packed and richly fulfilling one
of our lives.

Sometime a few months before our wedding day, I sang Frank
Sinatra’s classic “Can I Steal A Little Love” to her.

It was karaoke night at our favorite place, and I sat her in a chair
on stage, just so she and everyone else knew who I was singing to:

  “Tell me honey with a smile
  I can walk you down the aisle
  I won’t even need a shove”

Exactly according to those three lines in the song (in order): she
did, I did, and I didn’t.

We both knew we were meant for each other from the very day
we met.

Really, it all started the moment I saw her online dating picture.

But as soon as she stepped through the door at IHOP on 281 and
1604 here in San Antonio on Saturday, February 11th, 2006 at
7:59am, life would never be the same.

Soon she was texting me “selfies” of herself looking all cute.

We were having an absolute blast together, and before you knew
it we weren’t simply smitten, we were best friends.

She even started racing BMX with me, which was never something
I would have expected from her.  How could a woman be any more
amazing…and how could we be any more perfect for each other?

Even our two kids got along wonderfully.  Soon, we were taking
them on adventures with us.

And of course, over the next ten years we added two more beloved
little angels—our respective “mini mes”—and nowadays we love
taking them with us on adventures also.

So much has changed in ten years. In fact, it’s an amazing
phenomenon to be able to objectively measure and define an
entire decade so easily.

Our two oldest are now young adults. David just turned 21 last
week, and I bought him his first top-shelf drink.

We’ve been to so many places that Johnny Cash himself would
be jealous.

Dreams have come true in ways that have exceeded both of our
expectations.

Sure, life isn’t always perfect, but the strength of our relationship
and the depth of our true love have turned even the unexpected
road bumps into adventures.

And then, of course, there’s X & Y Communications.

I will always believe that being dating and relationship coaches
together has mattered to our readers and listeners over the years.
Walking the talk has mattered even more. And of course, what
you see is what you get.

It has been so thrilling to inspire others not only to believe a
healthy, mutually-respectful True Love relationship really is
possible in the 21st century, but to empower them to go out and
find their honey and live the dream for themselves.

[EDIT:  We finally put the full blueprint for that in the X & Y
Communications Store for you:  https://scotandemily.com]

But importantly, we’ve also been inspired…so very, very much.
Being immersed all day, every day in the art and science of dating,
relationships and understanding “MOTOS” (members of the other
sex) has made OUR relationship the best it can be.

All of that is a big part of what makes this such a very happy—
and grateful—moment in time for us. Our always terrific and
charming litluns sense it also, of course, and today they’ve been
celebrating Mom and Dad’s first decade of marriage in their own
curious and beautiful way.

Sarah has been giving us little presents all day (LOL), and both
John and Sarah have been asking to see pictures and videos from
before they were born.

As you can imagine, we’re often asked how we do it. We’re not
blowing smoke when we say our relationship is never “work”
as we’re often led to believe a long-term relationship must be.

Contrary to conventional wisdom, we don’t ever need “time
away” from each other, either. Heck, when Emily leaves for the
afternoon with the kids I miss all of them terribly by the time
they return a mere several hours later.

Ultimately, with matters of basic compatibility, positive self-
esteem, mutual respect and mental fitness (another story) all
"givens", it really comes down to three lesser-mentioned factors:

1) We “Get” Each Other: Trust and communication—two
cornerstones of relationship advice—are pretty much covered by
this larger, more encompassing idea. It isn’t simply that we’re on
the same team and agree on nearly everything. We’re two of a
kind. We understand what’s going on in each other’s head. We
don’t have to guess because we already know. We don’t even
consider insulting each other because in a bizarre way it would
really feel like insulting ourselves.

2) We’re Optimistic: We think the best of each other. We
honestly believe the other means well and has both our mutual
and individual best interests at heart. Things like blame and
jealousy don’t make sense in that context.

3) We’re Generous: So much dating advice is geared toward
“getting what you want”. When I stumbled upon the concept of
“deserving what you want”, the idea was to be what your dream
partner was in turn dreaming of. In a relationship between self-
centered people, all you can expect to truly get is what you have
the presence of mind to negotiate. 1 + 1 will, at best, equal 2.
When a couple is generous toward each other, 1+1 equals far
more because of all the pleasant, unplanned joys they bestow
upon each other.

Okay, I’ve gone on long enough.

But hey, I've gotten carried away with this because it's all so
much pure fun to write.

the bottom line is that Emily and I really, honestly love and
adore each other like you wouldn’t believe, and my heart is
full of emotion today.

Ten years later, the Honeymoon hasn’t shown even the
slightest sign of ending. Not only would I marry her again, I’ve
never once in ten years even doubted.

I love you honey…and here’s to many, many more! I can’t wait...