[X&Y Emily] What If He's Still Checking Out Online Dating Apps?
Published: Wed, 03/26/25
Updated: Sat, 03/29/25
EMILY McKAY'S KEYS TO BLISS NEWSLETTER
=====
IN THIS EDITION: What if you met online, but the guy isn't hiding
his profile? And what if you actually find out he has been "active"
when the two of you are supposedly exclusive?
=====
WANT TO MEET A GREAT MAN? OF COURSE YOU DO!
Shouldn't online dating be working for you instead of vice-versa?
Sometimes it really feels like it's the other way around (Ugh!)
Well, my Click With Him program is the #1 best way to weed out
all the wrong guys and get to Mr. Right.
I'll show you how I did it in under 30 days. You can too!
Right now I've brought back the popular 50% off promotion...but
only for the next 48 hours:
https://www.clickwithhim.com/50off
=====
IN THIS EDITION: What if you met online, but the guy isn't hiding
his profile? And what if you actually find out he has been "active"
when the two of you are supposedly exclusive?
=====
WANT TO MEET A GREAT MAN? OF COURSE YOU DO!
Shouldn't online dating be working for you instead of vice-versa?
Sometimes it really feels like it's the other way around (Ugh!)
Well, my Click With Him program is the #1 best way to weed out
all the wrong guys and get to Mr. Right.
I'll show you how I did it in under 30 days. You can too!
Right now I've brought back the popular 50% off promotion...but
only for the next 48 hours:
https://www.clickwithhim.com/50off
Springtime is here. You can do this...you can get a guy
who'll adore you and do anything for you, and you can do so
faster than you think.
=====
WHAT IF HE'S STILL CHECKING OUT ONLINE
DATING SITES?
Hello Emily:
I met a man online and we have been exclusive pretty much since we
began talking.
Once I was certain I wanted the relationship to progress, I asked him
about our profiles on the website and he assured me that he wasn't
interested in anyone else, he rarely visits the website, is only
interested in me, is growing attached to me, and that he'd be ready
to delete his account soon.
He'd been referring to me as his girlfriend to family and friends
who'll adore you and do anything for you, and you can do so
faster than you think.
=====
WHAT IF HE'S STILL CHECKING OUT ONLINE
DATING SITES?
Hello Emily:
I met a man online and we have been exclusive pretty much since we
began talking.
Once I was certain I wanted the relationship to progress, I asked him
about our profiles on the website and he assured me that he wasn't
interested in anyone else, he rarely visits the website, is only
interested in me, is growing attached to me, and that he'd be ready
to delete his account soon.
He'd been referring to me as his girlfriend to family and friends
and I'd even met his family. I accepted that and shortly afterwards
I updated my profile to reflect the fact that I'd met someone and
was taking a break from the website.
See, any time I visit the website I end up receiving messages and
requests for dates, so I was tired of the distraction. I even
canceled dates for him (not that he was asking me to or even knew).
A few weeks passed and I checked up on him online, out of
curiosity, to see if he was still accessing the website. I was
happy to see that he wasn't.
Then, out of the blue I was crushed to find that he'd actually
accessed the site while I was in the shower one morning. Next time I
checked, he'd accessed it just before I arrived one evening. Needless
to say, I knew I had to bring it up.
I tried to discuss it, and you can imagine how well that went! He
first tried to say he was on the website a week ago when he'd been
on it the day before. Strike one.
He explained to me that he's not looking for dates (he's only
interested in me and has never cheated in his life), just that he
likes talking to people and seeing how they're doing, out of
curiosity and boredom.
That I can understand to a point because I have the same
personality, but how could he be curious and bored while I'm in the
shower? Why isn't he ever curious and bored when I'm within
proximity to his computer? Strike two.
He said I had it all wrong and that I was being silly for thinking
that it might be for the best for me to date other men. He did not
stop me from leaving his place. Strike three.
He wrote me an email which I read when I arrived home. It basically
said how upset he was, how he doesn't want to fight, how I have the
wrong idea, how he's had a lot on his mind lately, etc.
Last night, I received an email just before bedtime that after
having visited a friend, he feels better and that he misses me. I
wasn't sure how to respond to that to be honest.
I ended up saying I was glad he felt better and that was it. He wrote
me again this morning as if none of this even happened.
The fact is, he hasn't apologized or made any effort to show me any
intention of deleting or updating his account. The only apology
I've received was that he was sorry I saw things differently.
I updated my profile to reflect the fact that I'd met someone and
was taking a break from the website.
See, any time I visit the website I end up receiving messages and
requests for dates, so I was tired of the distraction. I even
canceled dates for him (not that he was asking me to or even knew).
A few weeks passed and I checked up on him online, out of
curiosity, to see if he was still accessing the website. I was
happy to see that he wasn't.
Then, out of the blue I was crushed to find that he'd actually
accessed the site while I was in the shower one morning. Next time I
checked, he'd accessed it just before I arrived one evening. Needless
to say, I knew I had to bring it up.
I tried to discuss it, and you can imagine how well that went! He
first tried to say he was on the website a week ago when he'd been
on it the day before. Strike one.
He explained to me that he's not looking for dates (he's only
interested in me and has never cheated in his life), just that he
likes talking to people and seeing how they're doing, out of
curiosity and boredom.
That I can understand to a point because I have the same
personality, but how could he be curious and bored while I'm in the
shower? Why isn't he ever curious and bored when I'm within
proximity to his computer? Strike two.
He said I had it all wrong and that I was being silly for thinking
that it might be for the best for me to date other men. He did not
stop me from leaving his place. Strike three.
He wrote me an email which I read when I arrived home. It basically
said how upset he was, how he doesn't want to fight, how I have the
wrong idea, how he's had a lot on his mind lately, etc.
Last night, I received an email just before bedtime that after
having visited a friend, he feels better and that he misses me. I
wasn't sure how to respond to that to be honest.
I ended up saying I was glad he felt better and that was it. He wrote
me again this morning as if none of this even happened.
The fact is, he hasn't apologized or made any effort to show me any
intention of deleting or updating his account. The only apology
I've received was that he was sorry I saw things differently.
What should I do? I love him but this isn't acceptable, is it? I don't
want to give him an ultimatum and I don't want to date anyone else.
Patricia (Kenosha, WI)
=====
Hello Patricia. Thanks for writing.
Wow...you've discovered one of the very trickiest parts of meeting
someone online: At which point in a relationship is it time to
"hide" or completely remove your profile?
Your profile is there to attract the attention of men and to get
them to write you. As long as it's up there, it's going to exist
to serve that purpose and that purpose alone.
I don't fully understand the concept of "updating" your profile to
reflect that you're "seeing someone" and "taking a break from the
website". Why not make your profile invisible, or remove it
entirely?
Now I completely feel your pain at finding that your man has been
sneaking looks at the online dating site here and there when he's
supposed to have found a woman who makes him happy. There's no
excuse for that.
However, I'm not finding evidence in your e-mail that the two of
you communicated effectively to each other what the real,
objective expectations were in this area.
It sounds as if you talked about taking down your respective
profiles somewhere in the future, but nothing more concrete than
that.
To be honest, when you get right down to it the two of you were
pretty much on a level playing field here.
You haven't removed your profile, which leaves you open to receiving
e-mails from interested potential suitors (as you've mentioned) and
indeed possibly surfing the site yourself.
Plus, if you get right down to it, you have to get on the site
yourself simply to see if HE'S been there, right?
Ultimately, regardless of either your or his true intentions, this
can all become a finger-pointing battle VERY quickly, can't it?
Now sure, if he's just interested in keeping up with friends there
are social media sites better suited to that purpose (e.g. Facebook,
Twitter).
My guess is that he had gotten fairly used to doing frequent checks
of the online dating site he was on before he met you. Old habits
die hard--especially when there's no black and white reason to
cease and desist.
Simply put, as long as your profile was visible, and as long as
you're on the site, you can't be a party to a double standard.
That's just not fair.
Sure, you weren't exactly looking for more dates while you were
with him. But it is what it is: You're profile was still up
there, and somehow you were in a position to turn down dates
from other guys who were asking you out.
I understand it is frustrating to you that he didn't quite
apologize.
And it's not optimal that he simply let you leave his home that day.
But then again, time and again we women demonstrate that we really
can't stand men who beg and kiss up to us either. Perhaps he
instinctively knew that.
It sounds to me that he still would rather be with you than not.
And you've clearly articulated your feelings about him to me in
your e-mail.
Why not have dinner together at either your place or his--free of
distractions--and finally have an honest talk about formally cutting
ties to the online dating site you met on, eliminating that barrier
once and for all?
Make it all about what BOTH of you should do, not what HE has to
do to keep you from getting mad at him.
The communication and trust that you two can discover through that
process will lift a load off of both of your shoulders.
Believe me, when you include his best interests in with a discussion
of yours, you'll likely open his heart A LOT more than if you're
only trying to protect yourself by accusing him of wrongdoing.
From there, with a clean slate and a clean conscience, my gut
feeling is that you'll find he is much more comfortable with the
state of your relationship and his curiosity about checking that
dating site will go away.
Have Fun,
Emily McKay
P.S. Wow, there really are A LOT of factors to keep in mind when
it comes to getting online dating right, aren't there?
And as you've just seen, simply knowing how to get your profile in
order doesn't solve everything, does it? Not by a long shot!
I've been there myself, and that's why Click With Him covers SO
much more than just how to have great pictures and an attractive
profile.
Sure, all of that is important, but let's face it: You've also got
to know how to shine like a diamond on first dates in order to get
the second date.
AND...you just have to know how to make a relationship WORK as you
get to know a guy better.
Otherwise, it's going to be "back to the drawing board" time and
time and time again.
That's not what I want for you!
Instead, I'd LOVE to get an e-mail from you telling me how you feel
like a woman transformed...and how you've now attracted a great
man into you life who you once thought only existed in fairy tales.
I get goosebumps even thinking about it!
So with that in mind, I'm going to give you another chance to get
my complete Click With Him program for 50% off:
https://www.clickwithhim.com/50off
Want to find out more about everything that I've included in Click
With Him? Everything you'll want to know is here--and it's even
got a great new look:
https://www.clickwithhim.com/50off
Meanwhile, keep your e-mails coming...and I'll talk to you again
soon.
=====
(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2025. All Rights Reserved.
This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X & Y Communications.
It is never sent to those who have not asked for it. If you
believe you have been sent this message in error, please respond
and we will kindly remove you from our mailing list.
want to give him an ultimatum and I don't want to date anyone else.
Patricia (Kenosha, WI)
=====
Hello Patricia. Thanks for writing.
Wow...you've discovered one of the very trickiest parts of meeting
someone online: At which point in a relationship is it time to
"hide" or completely remove your profile?
Your profile is there to attract the attention of men and to get
them to write you. As long as it's up there, it's going to exist
to serve that purpose and that purpose alone.
I don't fully understand the concept of "updating" your profile to
reflect that you're "seeing someone" and "taking a break from the
website". Why not make your profile invisible, or remove it
entirely?
Now I completely feel your pain at finding that your man has been
sneaking looks at the online dating site here and there when he's
supposed to have found a woman who makes him happy. There's no
excuse for that.
However, I'm not finding evidence in your e-mail that the two of
you communicated effectively to each other what the real,
objective expectations were in this area.
It sounds as if you talked about taking down your respective
profiles somewhere in the future, but nothing more concrete than
that.
To be honest, when you get right down to it the two of you were
pretty much on a level playing field here.
You haven't removed your profile, which leaves you open to receiving
e-mails from interested potential suitors (as you've mentioned) and
indeed possibly surfing the site yourself.
Plus, if you get right down to it, you have to get on the site
yourself simply to see if HE'S been there, right?
Ultimately, regardless of either your or his true intentions, this
can all become a finger-pointing battle VERY quickly, can't it?
Now sure, if he's just interested in keeping up with friends there
are social media sites better suited to that purpose (e.g. Facebook,
Twitter).
My guess is that he had gotten fairly used to doing frequent checks
of the online dating site he was on before he met you. Old habits
die hard--especially when there's no black and white reason to
cease and desist.
Simply put, as long as your profile was visible, and as long as
you're on the site, you can't be a party to a double standard.
That's just not fair.
Sure, you weren't exactly looking for more dates while you were
with him. But it is what it is: You're profile was still up
there, and somehow you were in a position to turn down dates
from other guys who were asking you out.
I understand it is frustrating to you that he didn't quite
apologize.
And it's not optimal that he simply let you leave his home that day.
But then again, time and again we women demonstrate that we really
can't stand men who beg and kiss up to us either. Perhaps he
instinctively knew that.
It sounds to me that he still would rather be with you than not.
And you've clearly articulated your feelings about him to me in
your e-mail.
Why not have dinner together at either your place or his--free of
distractions--and finally have an honest talk about formally cutting
ties to the online dating site you met on, eliminating that barrier
once and for all?
Make it all about what BOTH of you should do, not what HE has to
do to keep you from getting mad at him.
The communication and trust that you two can discover through that
process will lift a load off of both of your shoulders.
Believe me, when you include his best interests in with a discussion
of yours, you'll likely open his heart A LOT more than if you're
only trying to protect yourself by accusing him of wrongdoing.
From there, with a clean slate and a clean conscience, my gut
feeling is that you'll find he is much more comfortable with the
state of your relationship and his curiosity about checking that
dating site will go away.
Have Fun,
Emily McKay
P.S. Wow, there really are A LOT of factors to keep in mind when
it comes to getting online dating right, aren't there?
And as you've just seen, simply knowing how to get your profile in
order doesn't solve everything, does it? Not by a long shot!
I've been there myself, and that's why Click With Him covers SO
much more than just how to have great pictures and an attractive
profile.
Sure, all of that is important, but let's face it: You've also got
to know how to shine like a diamond on first dates in order to get
the second date.
AND...you just have to know how to make a relationship WORK as you
get to know a guy better.
Otherwise, it's going to be "back to the drawing board" time and
time and time again.
That's not what I want for you!
Instead, I'd LOVE to get an e-mail from you telling me how you feel
like a woman transformed...and how you've now attracted a great
man into you life who you once thought only existed in fairy tales.
I get goosebumps even thinking about it!
So with that in mind, I'm going to give you another chance to get
my complete Click With Him program for 50% off:
https://www.clickwithhim.com/50off
Want to find out more about everything that I've included in Click
With Him? Everything you'll want to know is here--and it's even
got a great new look:
https://www.clickwithhim.com/50off
Meanwhile, keep your e-mails coming...and I'll talk to you again
soon.
=====
(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2025. All Rights Reserved.
This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X & Y Communications.
It is never sent to those who have not asked for it. If you
believe you have been sent this message in error, please respond
and we will kindly remove you from our mailing list.
X & Y Communications LLC
20403 Encino Ledge #591313
San Antonio TX 78259-1313
USA
Unsubscribe | Change Subscriber Options