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WHAT'S INSIDE: Here's Part Two in the series on why it's important for couples to be both alike AND opposite in order to genuinely attract each other long-term.
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WHAT IF YOU HAD ME WORKING FOR *YOU* TO FIND A GREAT MAN?
I understand how hard it is to find a good man. And you're a good woman, so that's who you deserve.
I know first-hand. And even nowadays (or ESPECIALLY nowadays?) it's not like you can just post your profile to a dating app and have the right man magically appear.
You don't have to do this alone.
What would it be worth to you to have me in your corner guiding you every step of the way?
Some department stores have "personal shoppers" to help their VIPs look their very best.
You can think of me as your personal shopper for finding love. And yes, you ARE a very important person to me...I wake up every morning excited about what I do.
So how do you get the ball rolling? That's the easy part, just click on this link:
Talk To Us
I'll start out by working with you directly to build a phenomenal profile...in your own voice.
Then, I'll show you how to screen guys so you'll never waste your time "kissing frogs" and get straight to Mr. Right instead...as fast as possible.
Best of all, this is no "one and done" experience. I'll be there for you after you've had a chance to see how everything is working for you, just in case anything needs tweaking a bit:
Talk To Us
All of this really can be a challenge...but ONLY when you don't exactly know the ropes. Why waste valuable time and energy? Take the short cut by putting me (or Scot, if you'd like) to work for you.
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SO DO LIKES OR OPPOSITES ATTRACT? (PART TWO)
--by Scot McKay
Last time in Part One we covered how you and a prospective long-term partner should be ALIKE.
But you'll also remember that I introduced the idea that a man and a woman, if TRULY compatible, should be BOTH alike AND different.
So then, in what ways should your perfect companion be OPPOSITE from you?
Well, considering how unique human beings tend to be the only way I know how to objectively describe that to you is by sharing some of the real-world ways Emily and I are very different.
For example, if you find us seated next to each other on a 14-hour flight, I'll either be dreaming up my next program for you guys or writing the next newsletter.
Emily will probably be doing sudoku puzzles.
I'd rather watch paint dry than do sudoku puzzles.
Then again, Emily happily does our taxes every year, which is a great source of joy to me.
I can even see WHY she'd enjoy doing the taxes. They're sort of like sudoku puzzles, only with an actual sense of accomplishment as a result of completing them. Nice.
Meanwhile, I'm the one who always seems to dream up ways to get us to places like The Galapagos Islands instead of just watching footage of Blue Footed Boobies on the Travel Channel.
That's because I'm the "daydreamer" and she's the "pragmatic" one around here. As fortune would have it, there's a solid place in a good relationship for BOTH of those areas of specialization.
Similarly, when it comes to money Emily is an excellent "saver" whereas I'm the one encouraging us to drop a buck here and there and "live a little". That makes for a nice balance.
I tend to be the one who doesn't procrastinate. She tends to keep the house in order better than I do.
She is excellent at keeping our son well fed and well behaved. I'm pretty good at building his dreams and strengthening his self-image.
When we travel, she figures out the details on how to get from the airport to our hotel. But when our flight actually lands and we pick up our luggage, I'm the one who negotiates with the cab driver because I'm the "talker" in the family.
And together--what do you know--life runs like a well-oiled machine, at least most of the time.
That's because when it comes to MECHANICS (the "logistics" or "operations", if you prefer), we have a near perfect mix of COMPLETELY OPPOSITE interests in that regard.
At this point, allow me to show you the other side of the coin so you can fully grasp the gravitas of what I'm telling you here.
In your past, have you ever met a guy who you were so turned on by it was almost ridiculous, but you pretty much COULDN'T STAND the person?
I think you know what I'm talking about.
It wasn't that you "hated" the guy, per se. In fact, he intrigued you to no end.
It's just that he DROVE YOU NUTS with the stuff he did, the things he said or the way he butted heads with you.
Off the top of my head I can think of two from my own past who fit that description perfectly: Jenn and Dawn.
Suffice it to say I found both of them intriguing. Attractive, even. BUT...simply being around either one of them was the most taxing experience imaginable otherwise.
Thankfully, although I knew both girls during my college years I didn't ever have to deal with them at the same time. Otherwise I may have completely lost my mind.
I remember Jenn and I had to work side by side all summer long one year. If I made any suggestion on how to get something done, she disagreed. She wanted it done her way...which was usually preposterous.
Finally, one of our female peers had observed us long enough and called out what was obvious to everyone except Jenn and I: "You know what's hilarious about you two? You're EXACTLY ALIKE."
Indeed.
And similarly, I remember one summer when I was about 19 coming home from date two or three with Dawn and complaining to my Dad about how this chica drove me STARK RAVING CRAZY...but I just couldn't get enough of her.
In a manner as dry as Death Valley, my Dad responded with, "Yeah, well...you'll probably marry her."
Well, thank God I didn't marry either Jenn OR Dawn.
As endearing as it must have been to others to watch my interactions with those women, being driven crazy all the time is no way to live.
When it comes to finding a great partner, it really is best to be with someone who wants to cover the logistical things you DON'T WANT TO, and vice-versa.
Otherwise, you're likely to live the nightmare of an ongoing (and completely unfulfilling) power struggle.
What you really want is the perfect storm as opposed to a stormy relationship, see what I mean?
And yes...you absolutely, positively can and should still feel amazing sexual attraction, even though you actually get along with him.
Enough already. I think you get the point.
So then, before we wrap this all up it's important to acknowledge some of the areas that have NOT come up in this discussion.
For example, physical attraction has been completely left out of the mix on purpose here.
Having seen as many couples who look like brother and sister as who look dramatically different from one another, I believe it's reasonable to conclude that personal tastes, biology, pheromones and/or whatever else you care to throw into the potion all conspire to cause physical attraction between two people.
Whether couples who get along fine look alike or different from one another appears to be of little consequence, ultimately.
On the other hand, it's safe to say that what comprises masculinity will always be attracted to whatever it is that femininity is composed of and vice-versa...as we've discussed around here at great length in other newsletters.
More masculine men will favor more feminine women. Meanwhile, "centrists" in this regard somehow always end up together also, don't they?
And what of the age-old idea of "common interests" that we seem to cling to as a "sacred cow" in the dating world?
Here's the deal: If you and your main squeeze share some favorite foods, pastimes and/or bands...great. And if not, introduce each other to some new and cool things and enrich each other's lives in the process.
Either way, life is good. In fact, you might be shocked by how LITTLE "common interests" have to do with overall compatibility.
But make no mistake. It's all-important to make sure that someone you're in a long-term relationship with shares your core belief system philosophically while "completing you" in practical ways.
And practically speaking, that "completes" this conversation.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
X & Y Communications
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