[X&Y Emily] 4 Fun Ways To Get Men To Say 'Hello' <--Make A "Movie Moment" Happen
Published: Thu, 02/11/16
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IN THIS EDITION: Here's an eye-opening insight into the often
mysterious minds of men...
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ARE MEN AFRAID TO APPROACH US AND SAY 'HELLO'?
I think that most of us as women love those "movie moments", don't
we?
You know what I mean, right?
When you least expect it, a great guy appears out of nowhere and
introduces himself to you in a dashing, confident matter that takes
your breath away.
In the movies it always seems like "boy meets girl" right at the
perfect time, doesn't it?
Either they meet while walking their dogs in the park, bump into
each other in the grocery store, or end up face to face with each
other in the most romantic spot imaginable.
But in real life? Not so much. Right?
If we have guys come up to us at all, they likely just say something
quick and leave just as quickly. Isn't that kind of weird?
And, of course, getting whistled at by construction workers and
"hit on" by a slightly inebriated guy at a bar or two along the way
hardly count as "movie moments".
So where are all these guys we WANT to meet hiding?
Well, guess what?
They're REALLY out there.
There's just one small problem. As a group, they're generally
nothing short of TERRIFIED to talk to us.
I know what you're thinking. "Me? How could a guy be scared of
little ol' ME? After all, he's a MAN for Heaven's sake."
In fact, if you're like me, you've probably always thought that if a
guy didn't come and introduce himself, he must simply not be
interested.
Well, consider this.
According to Scot, the NUMBER ONE issue he hears from guys about is
something called "approach anxiety" in the world of men's dating
advice.
That's right: The biggest dating concern guys tend to have is that
they are paralyzed by fear of rejection when they see a woman who
they find attractive.
Make no mistake...they wish they could talk to us. But they're
afraid we'll REJECT them.
Either that or they've applied what they've heard in sexual
harassment seminars to EVERY potential situation where they'd
feel compelled to show interest in a woman.
Yes, you read that correctly. They've been brainwashed into
believing that none of us EVER want ANY man to approach us.
Not only do they believe they'd be "bothering" us if they did,
they fear it would be considered a criminal act.
Yes...as crazy as it all sounds, this is how men really, truly
think.
Scot says that at least 90-95% of all guys out there generally
avoid introducing themselves to women for any or all of the reasons
I just described, even when they very much want to.
But here's the truly weird part.
Even if they DO succeed at approaching us, they almost never
find the courage to actually ask for our phone number...even if the
conversation goes well.
Well, that explains a lot, doesn't it? Like why the Homecoming Queen
back in high school didn't have a date to the prom.
Maybe it's all those bad TV commercials where the girls laugh at
a guy when he tries a "cheesy pickup line"...if they don't throw
they're drink on him in disgust.
You really can't blame a guy for wanting to avoid that.
Yet, I think the truth is that most of us are more that happy to
respond to a man who approaches us in a tasteful, dignified manner
in a friendly, cordial way, aren't we?
I know I certainly have never thrown a glass of Chardonnay at a guy
just for saying "hello"!
So what's a girl to do about all this?
Sure, we want guys to be man enough to introduce themselves to us.
But going around starting all the conversations ourselves just
doesn't seem like much of a "movie moment" by comparison, does it?
Well...now that we know what's REALLY going on, here are a few simple
but very powerful hints for maximizing your chances of actually
having a good guy approach you and say "hello".
Follow these steps and you're more likely to inspire that extra
boost of confidence a guy may need to do exactly that:
1) BE APPROACHABLE
If a woman is stone-faced--or worse, wearing a scowl instead of a
smile--I can't really blame any guy for staying away.
The next time you are out and about, pay careful attention to how
you are presenting yourself to the world. Is your countenance
welcoming to others, or telling them to keep their distance?
2) INTERACT WITH THOSE AROUND YOU
If you are actually talking to others--and seeming like a reasonable,
friendly human being in the process--that goes a long way toward
cluing a guy in that starting a conversation with you may be a
pleasant experience for him also.
Now granted, if you are in a meeting and/or engaged in a heavy-duty
conversation with five of your girlfriends you can't really expect
a guy to interrupt. That would be rude, anyway.
What I'm referring to here is more in line with day-to-day
interactions with waitstaff, the teller at the bank or the lady at
the grocery store checkout.
If you seem friendly in those situations, THAT'S what will really
cause a guy to take notice and feel comfortable talking to you also!
3) SLOW DOWN
My goodness...if you are always in a rush to be somewhere how's a
guy supposed to get a word in edgewise?
I realize life is hectic, but if you are SO busy, busy, busy all the
time then a guy's going to feel even more convinced that you just
cannot be "bothered".
If you can, relax and take time to smell the roses when you are
going about your daily errands or out on your lunch hour.
If you can pause and take a deep breath while waiting for your latte
in the morning, don't be surprised when guys suddenly start striking
up conversations more often.
4) SEND A SUBTLE HINT
OK, I understand not wanting to be "forward" or "aggressive". And
yes, I've always preferred for guys to take the lead in first-time
conversations myself.
But you CAN smile when he makes eye contact with you. You CAN move
a bit closer to a guy you'd like to get the attention of. And YES,
you can EVEN ask him for the time and see if he makes a conversation
of it.
Be INTERESTING, and he'll be INTERESTED. You don't have to be a
"wallflower"!
Based on what we hear from guys here at X & Y Communications, MOST
truly wish that women would indeed make themselves more approachable.
Men almost unanimously agree that were women to do so more often,
they'd be much more likely to approach.
So it all comes down to the simple fact that we as women REALLY CAN
make a big, big difference when it comes to encouraging great men
to introduce themselves.
The only question that really remains is: Do you WANT more "movie
moments" in your life?
The choice is yours...more than you may have ever realized.
I'll talk to you again soon.
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