[X&Y Emily] Sweet Beginnings After The Bitter End?

Published: Mon, 02/05/18

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IN THIS EDITION:  He's newly-divorced...so how long is he going
to need in order to date again?

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SWEET BEGINNINGS AFTER THE BITTER END


Hi Scot and Emily,

I heard Emily's interview w/ Amy Waterman and was introduced then
to more of your work together. I was impressed by your thoughts and
have subscribed to Keys To Bliss.

I also really enjoyed Scot's booklet (Get What You Deserve) and
plan to read the whole Deserve What You Want book! 

But I do like the audios as a favorite media as I can listen to
them while I drive or sort papers, do laundry, and the like.

I too am a single mom of 3, for 10 years, now.

There's a wonderful man in my life but I am not sure if he thinks
of me as "just a friend, always and forever".

He too has a son, my youngest son's age (10).

I am a confidante for him and I know he knows that he can depend
on me and trust me and we have good chemistry between us.

I also know he is a man I can count on and trust and think the
world of!

And I know that he needs healing time from his own very recent and
bitter divorce, but will it be obvious to me if he is not interested
in anything more from me and is searching in other waters?
 
Thanks for your help and guidance,


Carolyn (Canada)




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Hello Carolyn:
 
This is Scot here.  Since you're asking about what might be going
on in your man's head, I figured I'd answer your question this
time 'round.

But before I begin, thanks for your kind words.  Welcome.

Regarding your man, if he is newly divorced he probably will need
some time before he's really comfortable dating again. 

The feeling that he has is likely a strange sensation that he
feels he's cheating on his wife by seeing you. 

This is really weird for him, but it's "force of habit" and he'll
get over it, as deep down he already knows he should. 

Nevertheless, prepare yourself for a time or two in the early
stages where his sexual performance is nonexistent.  Now you'll
know why. 

I won't discount that he's going to need even more time to be
exclusive, however. 

Oddly, he'll either need A LOT of time for that or he'll need ZERO
TIME for that. 

It's all about the extenuating circumstances of his divorce and
what his personality type is. 

But regardless, NEVER assume exclusivity unless it's specifically
discussed.  You'll get the ultimate answer you need based on
whether or not he starts seeing other women besides you in the
future.

As an honest caveat overarching this whole scenario, I'd say it's
rather rare for a man to build a lasting, long-term relationship
with the very first woman he finds himself with
after a divorce.

That's unless, of course, it's a woman who HE broke up his marriage
for. But even then it's not always so likely he'll stay with her.

I do wish you well, but basically I'm telling you to keep things
casual and not necessarily expect this man to hang the moon and
the stars for you...especially not right away.


Be Good,

Scot McKay


P.S.  By the way, the audio version of the whole Deserve What You Want
e-book is finally here.  You can grab a copy from this link:



http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com/women




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