[X&Y Emily] What If You're Too Chicken To Meet Him?
Published: Wed, 03/07/18
EMILY McKAY'S KEYS TO BLISS NEWSLETTER
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IN THIS EDITION: You have an online profile. You even have great
guys writing you. But what happens when it's time to actually MEET
a new guy? Will you be ready?
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DOES IT HAVE TO BE SO COMPLICATED?
Getting e-mails like the one highlighted in today's newsletter
reminds me of how complicated dating can get if we allow it to be.
Does it have to be so long, drawn-out and difficult to meet a great
man?
I promise you it doesn't.
Unfortunately, most women will never discover the simple way to
meet an wonderful man online.
But I know first-hand that you can not only meet the man of your
dreams online, you can make him drop everything to be with you
and ONLY you.
And you CAN do it in just 30 DAYS, or less.
Right now, get my all-inclusive and super-effective program Click
With Him for 50% off. Just click the link below, no coupon code
is necessary:
http://www.clickwithhim.com/50off
What if the next man you meet will be utterly thrilled you met him,
and will move mountains to spend time with you?
I'll be the first to admit to you that I would never have met Scot
had it not been for online dating. Here's that link again:
http://www.clickwithhim.com/50off
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WHAT IF YOU'RE TOO CHICKEN TO MEET THE GUY YOU'VE
BEEN TALKING TO ONLINE?
Hello Emily:
Ok, I messed up BIG TIME.
I met this fabulous man online we had amazing conversations, deep,
philosophical, fun n more. I live on the east coast, he on the
west.
Robert asked to fly to me several times, i said no because i am
overweight and afraid to tell him that. He's an entertainer.
He called me from JFK Airport telling me he loves me and to meet
him (He flew to Italy via NY for vacation) and again i refused to
meet him.
The other strange thing is in the interim of his silence another
man started writing me asking me if i am alone or dating? Turns
out its one of his best friends (steve) - who also asked to meet
me in NY!
My intuition tells me Robert put steve up to this to find out more
about me. (Which tells me he is still focused on me, yes or no? )
I have fallen in love with this man and trying to get over my
insecurities.
Robert stopped talking to me and not answering my emails (only 3
didn't want to bombard him)
WHAT DO I DO NOW? HOW DO I GET HIM TO BREAK THE
SILENCE?
No Name In New York
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Dear No Name In New York:
OK, what I'm about to tell you may possibly include some things you
don't want to hear, but if you're going to be successful at online
dating, I really do hope you'll at least give it some thought.
If you have put accurate pictures on your profile and have
interacted via webcam with Robert then your insecurity about your
weight is unfounded.
If he has a realistic picture of who he's going to meet, then you
have nothing to worry about...at least as far as that's concerned.
On the other hand, if your profile pictures do not represent the
current version of you then you have essentially been deceitful.
While it's true that many, many more men prefer curvier women
than you'd probably guess, the secret here is to make sure you are
attracting the ones with your profile who will be attracted to you
in real life.
Portraying yourself accurately in an online profile is an absolute
must. Otherwise the entire system breaks down.
Robert is most likely not online to make "pen pals". He's there to
actually meet women.
When he offered to fly to meet you several times and you refused,
that honestly should have clued him in to the fact that you we're
concerned about disappointing him.
When he is actually in New York and hoping to meet you--and you
still refuse--what does he have left to go on? I'm sure he was greatly
disappointed if not utterly frustrated.
So I'm hard pressed to blame him for not communicating with you
further.
Now as far as Steve goes, my first thought is that if he has told you
he's Robert's friend then his contact to you is with Robert's blessing.
Notwithstanding that, he must not value his friendship with Robert
much. Either that or there's game-playing going on as you suspect.
But ALL of the above is really of little consequence considering the
"big picture".
The heart of the matter is this: Why in the world are you searching
for men in Los Angeles when you live in the largest metro area in
the United States...on the opposite coast?
It really appears that your insecurity about weight is relegating
your online experience to nothing more than e-mail exchanges and
perhaps phone conversations that offer you the temporary
butterflies of having received attention from men.
But without the intent of actually meeting anyone, you are only
doing what we call "living vicariously through yourself".
Not only are you deceiving men who could mean well, you are now
coming face to face with the fact that the emotions you begin to
feel are very real.
You've set yourself up for heartbreak. It's as if you've "painted
yourself into a corner" as the saying goes.
My encouragement to you is very simple. Simple, but perhaps not
easy.
Boldly represent yourself as accurately as you can in your profile.
Take brand new pictures of yourself dressed as stylishly as you
can, indoors in a naturally-lit environment.
Be sure to smile your warmest and most confident smile. Think of
yourself as a celebrity posing for your "autograph picture" to be
signed and handed out to your adoring fans.
And then, agree to trust that the men you attract genuinely want to
meet you. Then trust yourself to have the courage to meet those men
in person. And please...stick to the New York metro area (or the
Tri-State area, at least).
One more very important step.
If you really do believe that you are not the best version of yourself
to attract a man, make a decision right now to become that person.
Do not be passive about this, but instead take control of your life,
your health and your future happiness. This is how you begin to
deserve what you want and attract the kind of man you dream of...
for real this time.
Have Fun,
Emily McKay
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