[X&Y Emily] How Will He Get To Know The REAL You?

Published: Tue, 04/24/18



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IN THIS EDITION:  Ever feel like the man you're interested in just isn't
seeing who you really are inside?

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DON'T FALL VICTIM TO THE "AFFAIR INDUSTRY"


I’ve heard of so many relationships ending because a man got bored,
and ended up looking up some of his past girlfriends on Facebook.

A few chats, then some texts and before long he was chasing a dream
from the past instead of focusing on the relationship right there in
front of him.

Meanwhile, the term “friends with benefits” has become so acceptable
that they even made it into a popular movie.

Worst of all, there are real, brick-and-mortar companies our there
that put all their resources into luring men away from committed
relationships...all in the name of making money, regardless of how
many relationships they ruin.

Ever heard of Ashley Madison, for example?

It's getting worse out there, not better.  An app called Mixxxer
now lets people arrange sexual trysts with nearly strangers right
from their smartphone.

Your relationship with YOUR man is under attack from all angles.

That's why our friend Bob Grant, who is a real pro in the marriage
counseling field, just wrote this important letter that you should
read:



Bob Grant's Important Message About Long-Term Fidelity



That's right.  NO video.  And this isn't a "no name" guru.  Bob is
one of the most trusted experts in the women's relationship field.

He knows exactly what it takes to build a solid relationship with
man that BOTH of you find fulfilling and blissful...forever.

Go ahead and take a look.  This gets our highest recommendation:



http://www.emily-recommends.com/bobgrant



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HOW WILL HE GET TO KNOW THE REAL YOU?


Dear Emily:

First of all, I want to thank you for the informative newsletter you
put together that I have been enjoying for the past few weeks.  It is
really helpful.
 
I am just beginning a relationship with a man after being out of the
dating game for some time (nothing tragic or dramatic happened, I just
haven't dated anyone in a while).

It is clear to me that this guy likes me a lot, and I really admire
him, too! I want to let him see more of who I am, though, and THAT
is what I have been having trouble with in these early stages of our
relationship.

He is a really funny guy, and I think the way he deals with his
nervousness around me is by cracking jokes.

While I enjoy this, I feel like he may see me as some laughing bimbo
because I never make clear to him my OWN opinions about things, I
just laugh or say silly flirtatious things when I'm around him
(because that's how I deal with my nervousness from being around him!)
 
Basically I was wondering if you could give me any tips on really
letting who I am come to the fore while still enjoying his humor.
 
Thank you for all your work in this area!


Thanks,

Connie (Sparks, NV)



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Hello Connie:

Thanks for writing.  Your letter to me is just fantastic, and perfect
to feature in this newsletter.

After all, my goodness...how many of us as women have put ourselves
through the exact same kind of self-torture you're going through
right now?

When we meet a great guy we want everything to be PERFECT, right?  

We change our dress four times and look in the mirror four DOZEN
times before going out with him, don't we?  

And then, once we're sitting there in front of him we definitely
want to do all the right things...and be sure to avoid (God forbid)
doing any of the WRONG things.

But even when we KNOW the guy actually likes us, what do we do?

We STILL fret over whether we are portraying ourselves in the right
way.  

We want him to recognize our feminine greatness as soon as
possible...all while trying our best not to commit some faux pas or
another that he might consider a "dealbreaker".

Well...based on what you've mentioned in your letter to me, here's
some great news for you.

Your new guy friend almost for sure doesn't view you as a "bimbo".

In fact, he probably already considers you a woman of high character
if not a total GENIUS.

Why?  Well, I promise you solemnly...there is NOTHING more powerful
you can do in the early stage of dating than laugh at his jokes.

While we all seem to prefer men who don't come off as needy "approval
seekers", the truth is that ALL men LOVE actually GETTING APPROVAL
from women.

So YOU are doing A LOT right already, girlfriend!  Laughing at his
jokes is likely making a very POSITIVE impression on him.

In fact, let's focus on those positive things you've got going on.  
I've got two major points for you in that respect that I think will
be helpful.

First, you talked about his jokes and your positive response to them
as directly related to "nervousness".  

While it's true that some people deal with uncomfortable, awkward
situations by laughing (usually in some forced, unnatural way), I
doubt that's what is going on here.

If he's cracking jokes, he's enjoying your company and especially
enjoying the fact that you are ENTERTAINED.  

Guys in general LOVE to have REAL, TANGIBLE EVIDENCE that the
woman they are with is having a GREAT TIME.  

When they have to guess whether or not you are enjoying yourself on
a date with them, it vexes them terribly--often to the point where
they don't even feel comfortable asking you out again.

So if anything, that give and take with the jokes and laughing is
probably HELPING iron out the natural nervous energy between the
two of you.

That's right...I said NATURAL nervous energy.  It's not a BAD thing
to be excited.  The BUTTERFLIES are to be ENJOYED...and not to be
mistaken for nervous FEAR that you're going to "mess up".

And when you get right down to it, I do hope that the POSITIVE type
of "nervous energy" is what you are feeling.  After all...you know
he LIKES YOU already, right?

Second, just like I'd love to see you kick back and enjoy his company
without fear that you're coming off wrong, I'd encourage you also to
REST ASSURED that there's PLENTY OF TIME for every exquisite facet
of your feminine, human complexity in all of its glory to shine
through.

All of the thoughts, opinions and dreams in your heart are manifold
enough that it can and will take MUCH LONGER to express them than
you two have been hanging out together.  

And that's an understatement!

Right now, there's a lot of laughing and joking...and I hope that
never ends for you two.

And believe me, I understand how you want him to see the depth of
who you really are above and beyond that as soon as possible.

But this takes TIME.  And trying to rush it can actually be counter-
productive.

Guess what?  There's probably some DEPTH to HIM also that you've not
figured out yet.  Won't it be fun to learn more and more about him
over time...enjoying each new discovery as it unfolds?

And he'll enjoy getting to know more and more about who you are over
time also.  It sure beats "drinking from a firehose" if you think
about it.

Heck...Scot and I are STILL finding out new things about each other,
and probably will continue to do so for the foreseeable future!

So by all means, enjoy the excitement of beginning a new relationship,
and embrace the idea that there's PLENTY OF TIME to continue to get
to know each other.  After all, that's part of what makes life fun.



 




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