[X&Y Emily] Talking To And Meeting Guys Online
Published: Wed, 08/15/18
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IN THIS EDITION: Is it okay for us to write a guy whose profile catches
our eye? Or should we wait for him to show some interest first?
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GET HIM TO WRITE FIRST, OR WRITE HIM INSTEAD?
Hi Emily,
First of all, thank you for your time. I do have some questions for
you.
In your Click With Him program, you talk a lot about e-mailing.
1. Does looking at the man's profile count (they know when it's
viewed)?
2. If we are really interested in a man, and in his profile he
mentioned some specific things we have in common, what are we to do?
Should we email him first?
3. If the man does not put his salary in his profile, when is a good
time to ask this question? And how to ask it?
GET HIM TO WRITE FIRST, OR WRITE HIM INSTEAD?
Hi Emily,
First of all, thank you for your time. I do have some questions for
you.
In your Click With Him program, you talk a lot about e-mailing.
1. Does looking at the man's profile count (they know when it's
viewed)?
2. If we are really interested in a man, and in his profile he
mentioned some specific things we have in common, what are we to do?
Should we email him first?
3. If the man does not put his salary in his profile, when is a good
time to ask this question? And how to ask it?
Thank you,
SW
=====
Hello SW,
Thanks for writing me. I will be happy to answer your terrific
questions.
1. "Does looking at the man's profile count (they know when it's
viewed)?"
I like this feature. Just in case you did not show up on his
search for whatever reason, you will at least show up in his log as
having viewed his profile.
This gives him a chance to see you, and if he is intrigued he may
send you an email.
That way, you've at least given him an opportunity to email you first
before taking matters into your own hands.
But probably the BEST reason I like this feature is that once both
of you know you've been looking at each other's profiles, it
really encourages interaction. After all, the proverbial jig is
already up, right?
2. "If we are really interested in a man, and in his profile he
mentioned some specific things we have in common, what
are we to do if we can't email him first?"
If you really want to write him first here are some tips on how to
go about it.
Wait a reasonable bit of time from when you viewed his profile
beforehand to give him a chance to respond.
I followed that principle when I was online. Often times it worked
and they wrote me. When it doesn't work, be sure to check your log
to see if he looked at your profile.
Check also to see if he is even active on the site. If he hasn't
been active for more than three days or a week you can't really
take the fact he hasn't checked you out personally, right?
I will maintain that men tend to value their online interactions
with women who return THEIR e-mails more than with women who
contacted them first.
He'll feel as if he has accomplished what he set out to do, which
is getting a positive response from a woman HE made the decision to
be interested in.
Notwithstanding that approach, if you decide to write him find
something in his profile to comment about.
Keep the email short, 2-4 sentences lest you come off as REALLY
needy. Don't write anything personal, like your address or contact
information.
Here are a couple of phrases I found on some actual Match.com
profiles, and my ideas for potential responses.
This first guy whose profile I found made it easy:
A. "Be sure to ask about the picture of the fire truck with the
kids...cute story behind it."
Subject Line: As you requested......
Body: What is the story behind the fire truck with the kids?
This guy would probably appreciate that a woman actually responded
according to his suggestion. And since he asked, doesn't that make
the likelihood of him continuing the conversation all the greater?
B. "I am also something and an epicurean/oenophile. So if
you care to sit down over a good vintage wine and excellent meal to
compliment it let me know. I am always looking for
great parings of wine and cuisine."
Subject Line: Mr. Wine Aficionado.......
Body: Have you seen Gary Vaynerchuk on YouTube? I've
traveled through California visiting the wineries, what a blast!
Are you in a wine club?
Keep it simple and light. Compliments are fine. Men do seek our
approval.
And be sure to ask a question for him to have something to write back
about.
If he doesn't write you back then move on to someone who is worth
your time and energy.
3. "If the man does not put his salary in his profile, when is a
good time to ask this question ? And how to ask it?"
I'd avoid asking about salary directly. Men are very much on guard
about women who appear to only have dollar signs in their eyes, and
rightly so!
Still, it's natural for many women to desire a man who has ambition
and who would be a good provider, right?
You can ask what he does for a living usually by the first or
second date.
Besides, how much he makes is less important than how he manages his
income and/or net worth.
He could make $100,000/yr and be $200,000 in debt and not able to
cover the bills. Or he could make an average salary and have assets
to show for his hard work. Something to think about.
I wish you only the best!
Have Fun,
Emily McKay
=====
SW
=====
Hello SW,
Thanks for writing me. I will be happy to answer your terrific
questions.
1. "Does looking at the man's profile count (they know when it's
viewed)?"
I like this feature. Just in case you did not show up on his
search for whatever reason, you will at least show up in his log as
having viewed his profile.
This gives him a chance to see you, and if he is intrigued he may
send you an email.
That way, you've at least given him an opportunity to email you first
before taking matters into your own hands.
But probably the BEST reason I like this feature is that once both
of you know you've been looking at each other's profiles, it
really encourages interaction. After all, the proverbial jig is
already up, right?
2. "If we are really interested in a man, and in his profile he
mentioned some specific things we have in common, what
are we to do if we can't email him first?"
If you really want to write him first here are some tips on how to
go about it.
Wait a reasonable bit of time from when you viewed his profile
beforehand to give him a chance to respond.
I followed that principle when I was online. Often times it worked
and they wrote me. When it doesn't work, be sure to check your log
to see if he looked at your profile.
Check also to see if he is even active on the site. If he hasn't
been active for more than three days or a week you can't really
take the fact he hasn't checked you out personally, right?
I will maintain that men tend to value their online interactions
with women who return THEIR e-mails more than with women who
contacted them first.
He'll feel as if he has accomplished what he set out to do, which
is getting a positive response from a woman HE made the decision to
be interested in.
Notwithstanding that approach, if you decide to write him find
something in his profile to comment about.
Keep the email short, 2-4 sentences lest you come off as REALLY
needy. Don't write anything personal, like your address or contact
information.
Here are a couple of phrases I found on some actual Match.com
profiles, and my ideas for potential responses.
This first guy whose profile I found made it easy:
A. "Be sure to ask about the picture of the fire truck with the
kids...cute story behind it."
Subject Line: As you requested......
Body: What is the story behind the fire truck with the kids?
This guy would probably appreciate that a woman actually responded
according to his suggestion. And since he asked, doesn't that make
the likelihood of him continuing the conversation all the greater?
B. "I am also something and an epicurean/oenophile. So if
you care to sit down over a good vintage wine and excellent meal to
compliment it let me know. I am always looking for
great parings of wine and cuisine."
Subject Line: Mr. Wine Aficionado.......
Body: Have you seen Gary Vaynerchuk on YouTube? I've
traveled through California visiting the wineries, what a blast!
Are you in a wine club?
Keep it simple and light. Compliments are fine. Men do seek our
approval.
And be sure to ask a question for him to have something to write back
about.
If he doesn't write you back then move on to someone who is worth
your time and energy.
3. "If the man does not put his salary in his profile, when is a
good time to ask this question ? And how to ask it?"
I'd avoid asking about salary directly. Men are very much on guard
about women who appear to only have dollar signs in their eyes, and
rightly so!
Still, it's natural for many women to desire a man who has ambition
and who would be a good provider, right?
You can ask what he does for a living usually by the first or
second date.
Besides, how much he makes is less important than how he manages his
income and/or net worth.
He could make $100,000/yr and be $200,000 in debt and not able to
cover the bills. Or he could make an average salary and have assets
to show for his hard work. Something to think about.
I wish you only the best!
Have Fun,
Emily McKay
=====
So how about it? Isn't it time for YOU to meet the right man online?
All of the online dating secrets in my Click With Him program add up to a
real shortcut, saving you a lot of time and heartbreak.
The main audios come with full transcripts so you can read along.
If you liked today's newsletter, drop my my web site and take a quick
look:
http://www.clickwithhim.com/50off
And I'll tell you what. I really want to see you succeed online and
meet the man of your dreams. There's no feeling quite like it.
So if you decide to take control over your dating life and finally
get your very own copy of Click With Him, you'll get a full 50% off
for the next 48 hours only. That's my treat.
It's all here...you can be meeting cute, funny guys this afternoon:
http://www.clickwithhim.com/50off
Have a wonderful day ladies. I'll write to you again soon...
=====
(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2018. All Rights Reserved.
1-on-1 Coaching With Scot And Emily
How Emily Met The Man Of Her Dreams, And YOU Can Too
This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X & Y Communications.
It is never sent to those who have not asked for it. If you
believe you have been sent this message in error, please use the
link below to quickly and securely remove yourself from our
mailing list.
All of the online dating secrets in my Click With Him program add up to a
real shortcut, saving you a lot of time and heartbreak.
The main audios come with full transcripts so you can read along.
If you liked today's newsletter, drop my my web site and take a quick
look:
http://www.clickwithhim.com/50off
And I'll tell you what. I really want to see you succeed online and
meet the man of your dreams. There's no feeling quite like it.
So if you decide to take control over your dating life and finally
get your very own copy of Click With Him, you'll get a full 50% off
for the next 48 hours only. That's my treat.
It's all here...you can be meeting cute, funny guys this afternoon:
http://www.clickwithhim.com/50off
Have a wonderful day ladies. I'll write to you again soon...
=====
(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2018. All Rights Reserved.
1-on-1 Coaching With Scot And Emily
How Emily Met The Man Of Her Dreams, And YOU Can Too
This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X & Y Communications.
It is never sent to those who have not asked for it. If you
believe you have been sent this message in error, please use the
link below to quickly and securely remove yourself from our
mailing list.