[X&Y Emily] Are Maternal Instincts Important To Men?

Published: Wed, 12/19/18



EMILY McKAY'S KEYS TO BLISS NEWSLETTER

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IN THIS EDITION:  OK, here's a GREAT question that I'm sure crosses
every woman's mind once in a while.  And I've got a surprising
answer to go with it...

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ARE MATERNAL INSTINCTS IMPORTANT TO MEN?


Dear Emily,

My name is Hope.  I have a quick question.  I forget if it was
you who gave the advice that men find femininity attractive,
including motherly qualities.  

The problem is having children is not a major goal for me.  Unlike
most women I'm not worried about my biological clock.  

Are the only quality men the one's who expect their wives to have
children?  Or vice versa...to be a quality woman must I want to
have children?


Sincerely,

Hope (Montreal, Quebec)



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Hello Hope:

Alright!  Now there's a question I don't get asked every day.  And
it's a really good one.

Here's my take on it.

For starters, there's no doubt that masculine guys are attracted to
feminine women.  Femininity and masculinity are the very building
blocks of sexual polarity, so it's like a magnetic effect.  

Naturally, if you are into really manly guys, being that kind of
woman will bring you great success.

And I'd also say that having a strong maternal instinct, perhaps
demonstrated by a love of children and/or caring for them, is
decidedly NOT going to be a turn-OFF for most men, per se.

But having made the two points above, I want to clarify a few things
that I think are particularly important to grasp.

First, having "motherhood qualities" is NOT necessarily
synonymous with "femininity".  

I think it's only one component of many possible ways for a
woman to express herself in a manner that's attractive to MOTOS
(members of the other sex).

Just like chocolate is really yummy, it's far from the only
delicious treat on Earth.  

OK, maybe that's not the best analogy...but you get my point.

Next, I would say that most men ARE probably suspect of a woman
who blatantly shows a strong disdain for children.  That would be a
"red flag".  

Then again, though, aren't you just slightly suspect of guys who
really dislike little ones, also?

BUT, I don't at all believe that you have to be all about filling
the house with the "pitter-patter of little feet".

Honestly, I think whether that's important to a man in and of itself
all comes down to preference.  

So yes, when you get right down to it it's a matter of compatibility.

If a man you meet would LOVE to have kids someday, and he sees you
as a great potential mommy for his children, that's a wonderful sign.

But hey, if he isn't so into having kids, then watching you get a
little dreamy-eyed every time you see a toddler in a cute Gymboree
outfit might send him packing!

But that's what makes the world go 'round.  Some of us want kids,
some of us don't.

The trick is for the right ones of us to find each other.  

So those of you who aren't about makin' babies just yet, definitely
be 100% woman and appreciate a great guy when he deserves it.  Then
rest assured you'll find him.

And hey, you won't have "mother" him either.  "Appreciating" him
and "mothering" him aren't exactly the same thing.  And really...
most guys really aren't looking for another mommy, I  promise you.

And to you mamas (or someday-mamas) out there, there are indeed
tons of guys who are ready to start a family and/or accept you along
with the kids you already have.  

It's true!

Each of us is unique, and that's what makes life so cool.


Have Fun,

Emily McKay




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