[X&Y Emily] Should You Re-Kindle An "Old Flame"?
Published: Sun, 02/24/19
EMILY McKAY'S KEYS TO BLISS NEWSLETTER
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IN THIS EDITION: You're the one who broke up with him. But a year's
a long time and he wants to come back. Should you take him?
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HAVE A WONDERFUL RELATIONSHIP WITH THE
RIGHT MAN
That subject line.
You've read something just like that a million times, haven't you?
But what if you finally had real-world, experience-based, objective
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Well, Scot and I actually "live the dream" together every day. Our
marriage is as it seems. And regardless of what you've heard, it
doesn't feel like "work".
How do we do it? And how did we get to this point to begin with?
Well, we waited over ten years. But we finally feel there's been
enough water under the bridge to share everything we've got...
about every aspect of being in a relationship together.
The result is My One & Only. This might be the very first 100%
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Take a look. It's all in there. Every secret to long-term
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SHOULD YOU RE-KINDLE AN "OLD FLAME"?
Hello Emily:
I broke up with my boyfriend of almost two years. He has been
trying to get back together, however I realize that he is very
controlling.
That is the main reason I broke up with him. Yet somehow I am
NOT getting over him.
All my girlfriends have told me to quit taking his calls, or reading
his texts, but of course I give in and do just that.
Now he is wanting to go out again - he'll take me to the nice
restaurant he always refused to go to for two years.
I'm so confused and hurt. Please help?!
Corina (Council Bluffs, IA)
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Hello, Corina. I'm so glad you wrote me.
I'll tell you, there are a LOT of women who find themselves in a
situation very similar to yours at one point or another in their
lives.
To spell it out for you from the very beginning, I have to agree
with your girlfriends on this one.
And to be honest, I'm not at all surprised that the feedback from
your friends has been unanimous. You obviously have some great
friends who care about you deeply.
The difference between you and them, however, is an important one.
YOU are the one whose EMOTIONS are involved.
It's natural to have some feelings after sharing part of your life
with someone.
It's equally natural to focus on remembering the GOOD times rather
than the BAD times.
Especially after a year's worth of water has passed under the bridge,
it's hard to re-enact in your mind's eye exactly what it was that
caused you to be so sure you wanted to break up when you ended the
relationship.
Yet, I'm sure you didn't take the decision to break up lightly, did
you?
That's the first factor that could be causing you to romanticize
getting back together at this point in history.
But the more profound reason why you would even be considering the
option of returning to a controlling man is a more objective one.
You don't have any other OPTIONS.
Think about it.
If you had a wonderful, caring man in your life who was masculine
enough to excite you, would you even be giving your old flame a
second thought?
Of course not!
Instead, you'd be going on fun adventures with your new guy...and
likely forgetting completely about that fancy restaurant your ex
DIDN'T take you to.
To further underscore this point, here's another thing to think about.
Why would your ex suddenly be reappearing in your life a year later?
You got it...HE is currently lacking OPTIONS also.
If you ask me, the concept of the two of you getting back together
is the PERFECT recipe for SETTLING.
So what to do?
Well, first make the right decision regarding your ex-controller...I
mean, ex-boyfriend...and get an action plan for meeting better men
than you've ever met before.
A great way to do that, especially if you are a busy single mom or
have a demanding career, is to try ONLINE DATING.
Scot and I met online, and we'll be the first to tell you that you
can find someone AMAZING on the dating site of your choice.
Really. It's the 21st century, and having an online profile these
days is as natural as having a driver's license or a library card.
Give it a try!
Have Fun,
Emily McKay
P.S. Ladies, you may be reading this and thinking you'd like
to try online dating for yourself. If you're feeling a bit stuck,
reply to this email and let me know. I can help.
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