[X&Y Emily] Giving Your Phone Number To Men Online?
Published: Fri, 07/16/10
EMILY McKAY'S KEYS TO BLISS NEWSLETTER
=====
WHAT'S INSIDE: So you've been talking to a man for a short time
when he gives you his phone number out of the blue. Should you
just call him or what?
=====
GIVING YOUR PHONE NUMBER TO MEN ONLINE?
Hello Emily:
I have been trying online dating out for the last two weeks and
it's been great!
But there's one thing that I've stumbled on and that I have not
heard you mention in any of your material. It's the fact that men
keep giving me their number, even if I haven't asked for it instead
of asking for mine.
What does this mean?
Marie (Hillsville, VA)
=====
Hello Marie, and thanks so much for writing.
The simple answer to your question is that when men give you their
number, they're most definitely intrigued by you enough to want to
take their interaction with you to the next level.
This is a good thing, of course!
Nevertheless, I can see how it would be a bit unnerving to be
chatting back and forth via e-mail on Match.com (or on Facebook or
Twitter, for that matter) only to have him imply that you should
call him out of the blue.
After all, you don't even really know him yet.
And wait a minute...shouldn't a gentleman take the initiative to
call YOU first?
Well, even with all of that in mind, please don't draw any hasty
conclusions when that happens...especially negative ones.
After all, there are some truly great guys out there who mean well,
even if in being true to their guy nature they don't fully grasp
how protective some of us as gals can be of our personal contact
information.
In addition, often times the strategy actually pays off. You might
be surprised by how many women these days will gladly pick up the
phone and dial.
After all, as long as you're on a mobile phone without some fancy
GPS location transmission function or something, it's all but
impossible for anyone to compromise your personal security (i.e.
find out your address, your exact whereabouts, etc.)
Now that said, I'm completely on board with the fact that a man who
truly "gets it" would exchange a couple of e-mails with you before
perhaps saying something similar to this:
"I'm enjoying our conversation, but it's time for us to hear each
others' voices. I realize that a gentleman should take the
initiative of calling the lady, so if you'll give me your phone
number and a time when you're available I'd like to call you."
And sure enough, he may include his phone number also. But a
little elaboration sure goes a long way, right?
But the real-world truth about online dating is that both men and
women who know the ropes can find themselves with PLENTY of
options. This means that they're less likely to spend any more
time than they need to in moving interactions along.
Sooner than later, you'll realize like others who have been online
for a bit longer than you've been that typing back and forth for
days or weeks can be a REAL drain on your free time.
On top of that, the longer you go before moving to the phone and
then to the actual face-to-face meeting the more any potential
disappointment is going to really hurt.
As such, lots of perfectly decent folks online--men AND women
alike--tend to be rather frank about wanting to go from e-mail to
phone very quickly, and to the first meeting shortly afterward.
In fact, I actually wholeheartedly RECOMMEND moving things along
quickly.
So definitely don't automatically assume that a man who drops his
phone number on you quickly is being pushy or presumptuous.
He may be a good guy--just one who has met some women who
=====
WHAT'S INSIDE: So you've been talking to a man for a short time
when he gives you his phone number out of the blue. Should you
just call him or what?
=====
GIVING YOUR PHONE NUMBER TO MEN ONLINE?
Hello Emily:
I have been trying online dating out for the last two weeks and
it's been great!
But there's one thing that I've stumbled on and that I have not
heard you mention in any of your material. It's the fact that men
keep giving me their number, even if I haven't asked for it instead
of asking for mine.
What does this mean?
Marie (Hillsville, VA)
=====
Hello Marie, and thanks so much for writing.
The simple answer to your question is that when men give you their
number, they're most definitely intrigued by you enough to want to
take their interaction with you to the next level.
This is a good thing, of course!
Nevertheless, I can see how it would be a bit unnerving to be
chatting back and forth via e-mail on Match.com (or on Facebook or
Twitter, for that matter) only to have him imply that you should
call him out of the blue.
After all, you don't even really know him yet.
And wait a minute...shouldn't a gentleman take the initiative to
call YOU first?
Well, even with all of that in mind, please don't draw any hasty
conclusions when that happens...especially negative ones.
After all, there are some truly great guys out there who mean well,
even if in being true to their guy nature they don't fully grasp
how protective some of us as gals can be of our personal contact
information.
In addition, often times the strategy actually pays off. You might
be surprised by how many women these days will gladly pick up the
phone and dial.
After all, as long as you're on a mobile phone without some fancy
GPS location transmission function or something, it's all but
impossible for anyone to compromise your personal security (i.e.
find out your address, your exact whereabouts, etc.)
Now that said, I'm completely on board with the fact that a man who
truly "gets it" would exchange a couple of e-mails with you before
perhaps saying something similar to this:
"I'm enjoying our conversation, but it's time for us to hear each
others' voices. I realize that a gentleman should take the
initiative of calling the lady, so if you'll give me your phone
number and a time when you're available I'd like to call you."
And sure enough, he may include his phone number also. But a
little elaboration sure goes a long way, right?
But the real-world truth about online dating is that both men and
women who know the ropes can find themselves with PLENTY of
options. This means that they're less likely to spend any more
time than they need to in moving interactions along.
Sooner than later, you'll realize like others who have been online
for a bit longer than you've been that typing back and forth for
days or weeks can be a REAL drain on your free time.
On top of that, the longer you go before moving to the phone and
then to the actual face-to-face meeting the more any potential
disappointment is going to really hurt.
As such, lots of perfectly decent folks online--men AND women
alike--tend to be rather frank about wanting to go from e-mail to
phone very quickly, and to the first meeting shortly afterward.
In fact, I actually wholeheartedly RECOMMEND moving things along
quickly.
So definitely don't automatically assume that a man who drops his
phone number on you quickly is being pushy or presumptuous.
He may be a good guy--just one who has met some women who
turned out to be different in real life than they seemed online.
Have Fun,
Emily McKay
P.S. Are you interested in "knowing the ropes" a little faster
yourself when it comes to online dating?
I'm guessing you do. After all, the BIGGEST difference between
those who report an EXCITING and FUN overall experience with online
dating and those who are utterly FRUSTRATED by it is simply this:
UNDERSTANDING HOW ONLINE DATING WORKS.
Right now, you can get 35% off on my complete system for meeting
the greatest man you've ever met online in 30 days or less:
Click With Him
Simply enter the coupon code "xy35off" when ordering from that
Have Fun,
Emily McKay
P.S. Are you interested in "knowing the ropes" a little faster
yourself when it comes to online dating?
I'm guessing you do. After all, the BIGGEST difference between
those who report an EXCITING and FUN overall experience with online
dating and those who are utterly FRUSTRATED by it is simply this:
UNDERSTANDING HOW ONLINE DATING WORKS.
Right now, you can get 35% off on my complete system for meeting
the greatest man you've ever met online in 30 days or less:
Click With Him
Simply enter the coupon code "xy35off" when ordering from that
page above.
If you already know you're ready to finally get your very own copy
of Click With Him, here's an order link with that coupon already
embedded:
Click With Him
Isn't it time you met the man of your dreams before someone else
does?
=====
Questions? Ideas? Comments? Feel free to write me anytime at:
emily@clickwithhim.com.
Your feedback is welcome. If you like what you read, please feel
free to forward the newsletter to others. That's how we build our
audience!
Did a friend forward you this message? To receive this free
newsletter on finding the right man online OR offline from X & Y
Communications on a regular basis, simply click on this link:
www.clickwithhim.com
...and sign up. Or, just send a blank e-mail emily@aweber.com.
Easy simple!
X & Y Communications is dedicated to making you the most skilled
participant in the dating world you can be, at whatever stage of
life you are in. It's all about straight talk about the most creative
If you already know you're ready to finally get your very own copy
of Click With Him, here's an order link with that coupon already
embedded:
Click With Him
Isn't it time you met the man of your dreams before someone else
does?
=====
Questions? Ideas? Comments? Feel free to write me anytime at:
emily@clickwithhim.com.
Your feedback is welcome. If you like what you read, please feel
free to forward the newsletter to others. That's how we build our
audience!
Did a friend forward you this message? To receive this free
newsletter on finding the right man online OR offline from X & Y
Communications on a regular basis, simply click on this link:
www.clickwithhim.com
...and sign up. Or, just send a blank e-mail emily@aweber.com.
Easy simple!
X & Y Communications is dedicated to making you the most skilled
participant in the dating world you can be, at whatever stage of
life you are in. It's all about straight talk about the most creative
subjects, somehow encompassing character-based principles
while being neither too shy nor too judgmental to hit the important
things head on. The basic stuff you've heard a million times
isn't rehashed around here. Enjoy!
Please also note that the information in this newsletter is for
entertainment purposes only and is not intended to constitute
professional advice.
(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2010. All Rights Reserved.
This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X & Y Communications
LLC.
It is never sent to those who have not asked for it. If you believe
while being neither too shy nor too judgmental to hit the important
things head on. The basic stuff you've heard a million times
isn't rehashed around here. Enjoy!
Please also note that the information in this newsletter is for
entertainment purposes only and is not intended to constitute
professional advice.
(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2010. All Rights Reserved.
This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X & Y Communications
LLC.
It is never sent to those who have not asked for it. If you believe
you have been sent this message in error, please respond and we
will kindly remove you from our mailing list.