[X&Y Emily] Are You Dating "Mr. Maybe"?
Published: Tue, 04/19/11
EMILY McKAY'S KEYS TO BLISS NEWSLETTER
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WHAT'S INSIDE: Are you REALLY going about meeting "Mr. Right
in the best way possible? Or are you just spending too muchtime with "Mr. Maybe"?
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SPRING HAS SPRUNG...AND LOVE IS IN THE AIR
It's finally springtime, and there is no better time than RIGHT NOW
to be online.
Can you be the kind of woman who represents exactly who a GREAT man
online wants to meet?
And are you ready to finally meet a guy who is as fed-up with
flakiness and game playing as you are?
Really, NOW could be a perfect time for you to find your life
partner!
And in order to maximize your success, you'll need a game plan.
After all, the women who are able to rise above a sea of average
online profiles are the ones who radiate charm, class and
all-around beauty.
The profiles of such women stop men dead in their
tracks--particularly the HIGH QUALITY ones--and cause
them to click the "E-Mail Now" button.
As you know, Scot and I met online. And if we can find happiness
after the years of respective heartbreak we endured separately
before meeting, then YOU CAN TOO.
That's EXACTLY why my Click With Him program is the PERFECT way to
make a big splash in online dating as quickly as possible...while
still going about it the RIGHT WAY.
And just to let you know how INCREDIBLY FUN AND EASY it is to meet
fun and attractive men this time of year on the online dating site
of your choice, here's a link where you can get Click With Him for
a FULL 50% OFF:
I have to tell you, though...even though Click With Him started as
a plan for giving you everything you need to be truly successful at
online dating, it has been transformed into so much more.
In addition to my 30-Day Plan To Finding A Great Man Online (which
is based on my personal experience), I've included a VERY
eye-opening program I did with Scot on how to find a great man
behind an average profile.
(After all, not every great guy out there is an expert at writing
online dating narratives, right?)
Plus, you'll discover everything you need to know about online
dating security, how to handle e-mails and phone calls, and--of
course--how to WOW him on a first date!
I've also invited some fun guests like Amy Waterman and Renee
Piane, and have added several more fun surprises.
So why not put the "Valentine's Day Blues" in the rear-view mirror
and make the most of this INCREDIBLE time to be online?
If you've ever considered getting Click with Him, you really
couldn't pick a better time to do so than RIGHT NOW.
And when you do, pick up a f-r-e-e month of access to my special
Keys To Bliss members-only site at no extra charge.
There you'll find even more of my VERY BEST dating advice and
special surprises for today's modern yet feminine woman.
And...you'll be a part of my inner circle, with the ability to e-mail
me your questions any time and expect thoughtful answers.
It's the perfect compliment to what you'll discover in Click With
Him.
And now, it's time to challenge one of the most enduring "sacred
cows" in the dating universe...
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ARE YOU DATING "MR. MAYBE"?
I'm not sure where exactly it happened.
But somewhere along the way our culture decided that "dating" was
synonymous with "having sex".
At the very least it's viewed as such in the narrow minds of enough
of the general population to keep tons of self-conscious people all
over the fruited plain from dating more than one person at a time.
And if that's the prevailing mindset, the way most of us operate is
understandable.
After all, we as women tend to be more than just a little
protective of our reputations.
Meanwhile, on the guys' side, there's a deep-seated fear of being
branded a "player"...often easily rooted out by a few well-placed
questions from a woman on a first date.
What does all this fear lead to?
You guessed it. People tend to date one person at a time--sometimes
for months or even years--only to ultimately decide that the person
they're with isn't The One.
So my question is a simple one.
How in the world is someone--man or woman--supposed to effectively
figure out what he or she even really wants from "Mr. or Mrs.
Right" when he or she is burning so much time hanging out with "Mr.
or Mrs. Maybe"?
And can we change our collective mindset to one where "dating"
several people at once isn't only acceptable, but preferable?
For starters, I think it's time to broaden our perspective. I
think it's time for a real, live re-evaluation of exactly what
"dating" should be for.
But first of all, let's clarify what dating shouldn't be.
It shouldn't necessarily be "practice marriage", especially not on
the first date (!) or shortly thereafter.
If you are still looking at every date as a "marriage interview", I
wouldn't be surprised if you ran into beaucoup frustrating, if not
quite awkward moments out there.
Second of all, dating doesn't have to be placed in a box with a
particular label on it. Not by any stretch of the imagination.
If you're into high-pressure, formal mood-killers like Ye Olde
Dinner And A Movie, welcome to the 21st century. First dates
should be more interactive and fun...with plenty of opportunity to
actually get to know each other.
After all, let's face it. Unless you're trying to intentionally
limit your dating pool to people you work with and/or those whom
your mother sets you up with, the "get to know you" part is going
to be paramount.
And with literally everyone jumping on the online dating bandwagon
these days, who in their right mind is still relying on "dipping
their pen in the company ink"?
There are 3 billion MOTOS (Members Of The Opposite Sex) out
there...most of them single!
So what about online dating? When you meet someone you've been
talking to online, that first meeting can't even really be
considered a "date" if you think about it.
After all, you should only be meeting casually at that stage to
figure out if there's any basic chemistry going on there at all.
That's it. No stress, no strain. And certainly such meetings are
without the necessity that any sex is going to be taking
place...right there in Starbucks.
Now if the sparks fly, so be it. But my point is that this isn't
even really "dating" yet.
And how about if there ARE sparks? Should there be wedding plans
after the first date?
It sounds silly to even contemplate, doesn't it?
Ultimately, I'd recommend LOTS of dates with lots of people before
entering into an exclusive relationship with someone.
There are two great reasons for this.
First, life is too short to evaluate potential partners one at a
time. Meeting and interacting with numerous people gives you a
chance to find out what your real preferences are when it comes to
guys, as opposed to your pre-conceived ones.
And amazingly, it's uncanny how having several options when it
comes to your mixed-company social life begets amazing confidence.
You don't cling so desperately to each individual "opportunity",
and therefore you magically become more attractive to MOTOS in
general.
Nothing succeeds like success, right?
Second, exclusive relationships should be meaningful. Why cheapen
the experience by giving it away so quickly? Take time to get to
know someone fully before selecting that person to the exclusion of
all others.
Make exclusivity count. If you fall in love, be sure about it and
LOVE BIG.
Explain your philosophy to anyone you are "dating" who appears to
be pressuring you into exclusivity too quickly. Be honest with the
men you meet along the way, and rest assured that it will typically
result in real respect and even heightened attraction.
Now that sounds to me like the path of someone with real depth.
And I don't see any downside to that.
Have Fun,
Emily McKay
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emily@clickwithhim.com.
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