[X&Y Emily] "Everything Was Fine And Then NOTHING...Now What?"
Published: Sun, 10/28/12
EMILY McKAY'S KEYS TO BLISS NEWSLETTER
=====
Hello Ladies:
We got a letter from Rebecca yesterday, who asked a GREAT
question about a guy she has been seeing lately.
She wanted Scot's point of view since it was clearly a "guy
whispering" issue. (LOL)
Well, Scot's answer was SO RIGHT ON that I knew I needed to share
the conversation with you...
=====
Hello Scot,
Thank you so much for everything you & Emily do! I am a huge fan of
you both and really love what you two have to say.
I really value a man's opinion and would love your take on this. I
have been dating for about 6 months now and about 3 months ago I
met a very nice man at my church.
About a month later we started dating so we've been just dating for
about 2 months now. I'm still seeing other guys, but we've been
seeing each other 2 or 3 times a week.
He's been absolutely wonderful and I find myself enjoying his
company.
We've been on some very expensive dates, it doesn't matter to me
what we do though, it just feels good spending time with him, but he
HAS been very generous and giving.
The problem is the better part of a week has gone by with almost no
contact.
He is scheduled to leave town tomorrow for business for 2 weeks and
it feels really weird that we haven't seen each other this week,
since we've been seeing each other 2-3 times a week.
He sent a text at the start of the week saying, "Good morning
gorgeous. Have a great Monday." I replied back to him, but
nothing...
So whats going on? Should I call? Text? Wait to hear from him when
he gets back? Am I making a big deal out of nothing?
My mind is trying to go back and reply things to see if I did
anything 'wrong' and its also saying 'oh he's just busy with work,
etc."
Maybe I was putting out a stronger vibe that when we first started
dating? I just don't know.
My mom tells me to text him, because he might feel like hes put out
all this effort, and that I'm not reciprocating (I don't know how
this would be the case though, I've made time for him, let him kiss
me, been very open to his company, am I missing something? Do I
need to do something else?)
The truth is, it feels crappy, and I'm feeling confused as to what
would be the best thing to do.
What do you think, Scot? Thank you!
Kindly,
Rebecca
=====
Hello Rebecca:
First of all, thanks for the kind words.
Your question touches upon a topic that most women will encounter
sooner than later in their dating lives, for sure.
If you've had a pattern of communication with a guy for a couple of
months that suddenly changes out of the blue I think it's perfectly
logical to wonder what happened.
I'd pick up the phone, call him and ask him if everything's alright
over there. Nothing more than that.
Then when he calls back, just let him talk. Don't make assumptions
or force the issue. Chances are he'll tell you whatever needs to
be said.
If, however, he makes "small talk" for a good ten minutes as if
nothing ever happened, feel absolutely free to simply state that it
was unusual not to hear from him for four days. Then, again, let
him talk.
Admittedly, it is flat-out bizarre that he would text you with
something so positive and THEN fall off the map like that. It
safe to say SOMETHING is up, for sure.
And it could really be ANYTHING, but likely NOT something that kept
him out of the communication loop for four full days. This is 2012.
With that in mind, I have to prepare you...even if things looked
rosy on the surface it's not typical of a guy who's really psyched
about a woman to leave her hanging for four days after having been
in the habit of seeing her a few times a week.
Unfortunately, tons of guys are very bad at coming clean and
providing closure with women we're no longer interested in. They
tend to really, really dread negative emotional responses from
women.
It's not that they're bad guys necessarily, it's just that they are
wusses. Plain and simple.
Then again, he could call you right as I'm typing this and
everything will be fine. He may have broken down in the desert
with no cell phone signal and rescued by a helicopter just this
morning.
Maybe he did pass out cold and has been in a coma at the local
hospital since earlier this week. Even then, I'd still expect
to at least hear the explanation spoken in plain English.
But neither of the above scenarios is likely, of course.
And no matter what, a quick call from you at this point when the
pattern has clearly shifted isn't needy or clingy. On the contrary,
it's indicative of self-respect.
Meanwhile, enjoy being social with the other guys you are dating.
You are in the position to be the "chooser" rather than the
"chaser".
Oh, and by the way...him calling you something like THREE MONTHS
or so from now as if everything is "fine" would NOT be "fine".
Cheers,
Scot McKay
=====
Leave it to Scot to tell it like it is, right?
I'll talk to you again soon.
Have Fun,
Emily McKay
P.S. Remember, Scot and his friends share almost TWO FULL HOURS'
worth of juicy secrets about what goes on inside men's heads in
Attraction Makeover.
This is all IN ADDITION to everything you've ever wanted to know
in there about how to be FABULOUS...and FAST!
And despite all that, it's my most affordable program ever.
Here's the link:
=====
(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2012. All Rights Reserved.
This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X & Y Communications
LLC. It is never sent to those who have not asked for it. If you
believe you have been sent this message in error, please respond
and we will kindly remove you from our mailing list.