[X&Y Emily] What Are His Intentions?

Published: Sun, 03/31/13


EMILY McKAY'S KEYS TO BLISS NEWSLETTER

 

   
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BLISSFUL RELATIONSHIPS


Have you ever been really excited about getting into a
relationship only to have things go south sooner than later?

That's always SO disappointing...especially when you have
such high hopes at the beginning.

It seems like truly happy relationships are nowhere to be
seen these days...and it's REALLY easy to start thinking that
it's all a myth that it's even possible.

Well, that's NOT true.  Scot and I know that first hand!

And in fact, you also have the tremendous example of
Michael Webb.

He and his wife Athena haver NEVER had a fight with in
17 years of marriage.

While this sounds incredible, after reading his story you'll
be pleasantly surprised by how powerful his understanding of
relationships truly is.

Here's the link to Michael's 50 Secrets Of Blissful
Relationships:



http://www.emily-recommends.com/50secrets



I'll tell you, who WOULDN'T want to have every single
advantage possible BEFORE getting into a serious relationship?

Here's an EXCELLENT way to get that kind of edge:



http://www.emily-recommends.com/50secrets



Right now, Michael's got some great bonuses to go along with
his book, including an entire SECOND book called 50 MORE
Secrets Of Blissful Relationships.

I personally LOVE the word "bliss" in context with
"relationships".  Michael is one of those wonderful guys
who actually 'gets it', so this gets my highest
recommendation:



http://www.emily-recommends.com/50secrets



And now, let's turn our attention to how we can discern what
a man's TRUE intentions are...



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WHAT ARE HIS INTENTIONS?


Last night Scot and I shared a rare moment of down time watching
television together.  An episode of "Millionaire Matchmaker"
happened to be on.

If you've not happened to see the show before, it's about a lady
who specializes in introducing millionaire gentlemen to women for
the purpose of dating, and perhaps marriage.

Well, in this particular episode, a man had indeed been introduced
to a woman, and on their first or second date he had asked the
woman to go to Las Vegas with him on the spur of the moment.

When she was clearly reticent about joining him, he had retorted
with "Hey, I promise to be a perfect gentleman...I won't try any
'funny stuff' at all."

But the die had been cast, of course.  She wasn't interested in
going to Vegas with him!

As you can imagine, any time Scot and I watch any 'dating shows'
such as this on TV, we can't help but discuss what's going on.

Sure enough, this was no exception.

"Well, that's where he blew it", Scot announced.

"What do you mean?"

"He has given a woman he barely knows EVERY INDICATION that his
intentions are less than honorable up front.  So when it's written
all over her face that she's concerned, THEN he falls back on a
promise to be a 'perfect gentlemen'.  But by then it sounds like a
cheesy SALESman talking rather than a GENTLEman, doesn't it?"

I knew immediately what he was talking about.

Scot realizes what ALL of us as women INSTINCTIVELY use as a major,
major yardstick to decide whether things are going anywhere with a
man or not.

And that's TRUST. 

If we do not feel SAFE with a man--if he cannot provide us with a
sense of SECURITY in his presence--then all bets are off.
Especially any "bets" in Vegas, baby!

Unfortunately, the guy on the TV show had pushed the proverbial
envelope of trust WAY too early in his relationship with the woman
he had just met.

And by ASSUMING that she would be amenable to a spontaneous
getaway, he only caused her "warning radar" to sound.

And that's EXACTLY how it SHOULD BE for her.

When a man has the presence of mind to understand our need for
safety and security--AND the character to respect that--then his
actions speak louder than his words.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not sure a very high percentage of us
would simply take off on a junket to Vegas with a guy we barely
know...at least I hope not.

But the basic principle at play here shows up ALL THE TIME in more
subtle ways as we meet and interact with men in the early stages of
relationships.

For example, if you're talking to a man online and it becomes time
to meet in person, he may approach the scenario in two different
ways.

First, he may say, "Hey, tell me where you live and I'll pick you
up and take you to my favorite place.  It'll be my surprise."

Picture that happening.  How would you respond to that kind of
offer?

Or...a man may approach the opportunity to meet you in a decidedly
DIFFERENT way:

"I think it's time we met.  I fully realize that we don't know each
other yet, so I know it's going to be important to you to meet at a
public place.  How about if we meet at the Starbucks on 5th and
Main before work on Thursday?"

Need I ask which would make you feel more comfortable?

Importantly, we must ALWAYS take careful note of whether or not a
man is displaying signs of solid character or not as we get to know
him. 

And even if a man IS apparently respectful of our circumspection up
front, that shouldn't serve as a signal for us to throw caution to
the wind.

Scot has mentioned to me that several women online had read that he
knew how to cook in his profile and had invited themselves over to
his house for the first date!

Even HE was utterly shocked by those women's cavalier mindset
toward meeting a total stranger.

Scot's not exactly an "axe murderer", of course.  But that's really
beside the point...

Any man who makes all the right moves when planning early dates
with you is going to do so with respect and attentiveness to your
feelings. 

That's what a man of dignity, character and CLASS is all about.

When you see that, it's a GREAT sign, so proceed with due caution
and have fun!

But when a man presumes compromise of your personal comfort level,
that shows a clear lack of regard for you.  So let that be a red
flag.

Don't ever feel COMPELLED to go on a date with a guy who "doesn't
get it" in this regard. 

If you are uncomfortable, find the courage to say "NO", even if you
are habitually a "YES" person (which is a WHOLE 'nother newsletter,
as we say here in Texas).

It could be the most important dating decision EVER.

And if he brings up your safety AFTER you object to his plan? 

Make that a DOUBLE in the "red flag" department.  

After all, that only shows that he really has known what would have
been the respectful path all along, and yet hoped for your
unconditional compliance anyway.

Date smart, ladies!  There are absolutely, positively some TERRIFIC
men out there who want to treat you right. 


Have Fun,

Emily McKay




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