[X&Y Emily] Should I Try Harder To Make Him Like Me?
Published: Wed, 08/28/13
EMILY McKAY'S KEYS TO BLISS NEWSLETTER
=====
IN THIS EDITION: The guy you are dating seems terrific. But he
just isn't calling you very often. And he's requesting to see you
even LESS often. What's a woman to do? Try harder? Give up? Or
is there ANOTHER way?
=====
MESMERIZE HIM AND MAKE HIM LOVE YOU FOREVER
I have something to share with you that I think you're going to
LOVE.
But before I do that, let me ask you two questions:
1. Are you interested in being treated as well as you know you
deserve to be, deep down?
2. Have you ever been frustrated by men who just can't seem to do
that the way they should?
If your answer to either or both of those questions is a
resounding "YES", keep reading...
You see, I just made a new friend named Annalyn Caras.
Like most women, she had her share of dating horror stories (you
should HEAR some of them!).
However, Unlike most women, when she finally got to her boiling
point--when she was almost at her wit's end with men--she did
something curious (and pretty amazing).
She went on the Internet and surveyed over 4000 people! That's
right - she asked them to spill everything they knew about dating
and relationships.
I'm not talking "surface" questions, either. She was passionate
about finding out why she kept hitting a brick wall with men.
And I've got to say, I checked out the results of her surveys and
they're absolutely FASCINATING. See what I mean here:
http://www.emily-recommends.com/annalyncaras
I really like that she went the survey route, because I know so
many women just ask their girlfriends (who usually aren't in
thriving relationships themselves) for advice.
By going asking such probing questions and paying close attention
to ALL the answers she received, Annalyn was really able to get to
the heart of the matter.
I would have never expected some of the shocking results that came
out... but when I think about it, they make complete sense.
I've heard other people have put the findings into action and are
now in GREAT relationships with wonderful men (who they can
actually UNDERSTAND, for a change).
Once again, you can find her page right here:
http://www.emily-recommends.com/annalyncaras
While you're there, be sure to notice the testimonials from lots of
happy women!
=====
SHOULD I TRY HARDER TO MAKE HIM LIKE ME?
Dear Emily McKay,
First of all I want to say that your emails are very interesting to
read.
I would like to ask you about my particular dating issue.
Some time ago I met a guy and we started dating. I like him and he
seems to like me too but I am concerned about how much he likes me.
When we meet he acts nice and fun, but keeps it cool.
Maybe its because he is little bit shy around me. Actually we do
not meet too often like couple times a month and send few SMSes.
So I cant rid of the idea that he just meets with me when he has no
other more interesting plans. At the moment I don't have other
dates, so I keep going out with him.
Well, it is just the beginning as we were dating only for 2 months.
We both are open to date others. I would like to meet with him more
often, but I feel lack of his interest in me, which turns my
enthusiasm off.
Is it better just quit with him or try to increase the interest?
I would be very thankful for your comments.
Lucia (Santiago, Chile)
=====
Hello Lucia:
First of all, I'm thrilled you are enjoying the newsletters.
You know, your question may be one of the most common ones I
receive on a regular basis.
When a guy doesn't exactly fawn over you, it just makes you think
about him all the time, doesn't it? It makes you want him
MORE...right?
Why is that?
Well, it kind of makes you feel as if you're going to have to earn
his affection. And since the two of you are "open" to dating
others, it tends to cause of feeling of wondering what other women
are vying for his attention.
Most of us as women really aren't so into competition, are we?
Yet, when we know we have a guy who isn't falling for us so
quickly, it makes us all the more intrigued.
Our minds start working overtime trying to plan how we can get him
to understand that the best woman for him is right before his very
eyes...if only he'd "see the light" and figure it out.
So what do we do? Well, we can simply give up, as you've suggested
as one option you are considering.
But nobody wants to be a quitter! That just feels so, well...weak.
On the other hand, however, when a woman recognizes herself as a
great catch and believes herself to be a woman of confidence and a
solid self esteem she feels slightly indignant about the man's
apparent blindness to the situation.
It's with that mindset she might actually choose the SECOND option
you have presented: She'll redouble her efforts to impress him.
In other words, she sets out to PROVE herself.
Perhaps ironically, and certainly contrary to what makes sense,
this determination can actually drive a man away.
It's true. And this isn't a gender-specific thing, either.
Think about it. Have you ever met a man who very quickly became
completely infatuated with you?
Perhaps he called you several times a day, gushed about how
wonderful you are and maybe even bought you expensive gifts.
Or maybe he just seemed to sacrifice everything at your feet...
including his dignity.
Were you MORE attracted to him because of all this?
Probably not.
If you're like most women you were left feeling a bit empty.
It's almost as if you felt that if you were able to capture this
man's heart, mind and soul so easily, you could probably do even
better.
It's a terrible feeling to realize you're seeing a man in this way,
especially when he's so super nice to you.
But you can't change how you feel.
And were you to chase this man with renewed enthusiasm, my guess is
he would...as I suggested...be driven away.
So what to do?
There's actually a THIRD option.
But I feel I must tell you, it's not the easiest way to go.
If you want him to take more notice of you, you simply have to
become less available. And you have to build other activities into
your life that cause you not to focus on him so much.
Now I fully realize that you already don't see him so much. My
impression is that you don't talk to each other all that often
either.
So right now I would have to suppose you aren't the highest
priority in his life.
That doesn't change what I told you, however.
Why is that?
Well it's really all about your ATTITUDE. If you are at his whim
when he DOES call you, he feels you are pretty easy to corral,
cowgirl.
Were you to actually NOT be available on a night he wants to see
you...or NOT pick up the phone when he calls...that would clue him
in that you are more of a challenge.
Does this all sound like game playing? Well, if it is all simply
manufactured behavior for the sake of going through the motions,
then it IS just a 'game'.
But if you can successfully consider yourself a woman who DOES have
options when it comes to attracting great men, and who DOES have a
life full of excitement beyond what one guy can provide on an
irregular basis, then the authenticity of who you are will create
genuine intrigue.
If not in this guy, then in many, many others who will find you
irresistible.
And you'll find it happening more and more often.
As for the guy you're seeing, he may or may not respond as you
wish. He's his own person.
But becoming the woman who neither gives up nor chases--but who
rather rests in her desirability---will always make you the one
who creates the most natural attraction from men.
Have Fun,
Emily McKay
P.S. Have you joined our fun community on Facebook yet? You
can find it right here:
http://www.facebook.com/scotandemily
Please "like" the page and jump right into the conversation!
=====
(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2012. All Rights Reserved.
This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X & Y Communications.
It is never sent to those who have not asked for it. If you
believe you have been sent this message in error, please use the
link below to quickly and securely remove yourself from our
mailing list.
=====
IN THIS EDITION: The guy you are dating seems terrific. But he
just isn't calling you very often. And he's requesting to see you
even LESS often. What's a woman to do? Try harder? Give up? Or
is there ANOTHER way?
=====
MESMERIZE HIM AND MAKE HIM LOVE YOU FOREVER
I have something to share with you that I think you're going to
LOVE.
But before I do that, let me ask you two questions:
1. Are you interested in being treated as well as you know you
deserve to be, deep down?
2. Have you ever been frustrated by men who just can't seem to do
that the way they should?
If your answer to either or both of those questions is a
resounding "YES", keep reading...
You see, I just made a new friend named Annalyn Caras.
Like most women, she had her share of dating horror stories (you
should HEAR some of them!).
However, Unlike most women, when she finally got to her boiling
point--when she was almost at her wit's end with men--she did
something curious (and pretty amazing).
She went on the Internet and surveyed over 4000 people! That's
right - she asked them to spill everything they knew about dating
and relationships.
I'm not talking "surface" questions, either. She was passionate
about finding out why she kept hitting a brick wall with men.
And I've got to say, I checked out the results of her surveys and
they're absolutely FASCINATING. See what I mean here:
http://www.emily-recommends.com/annalyncaras
I really like that she went the survey route, because I know so
many women just ask their girlfriends (who usually aren't in
thriving relationships themselves) for advice.
By going asking such probing questions and paying close attention
to ALL the answers she received, Annalyn was really able to get to
the heart of the matter.
I would have never expected some of the shocking results that came
out... but when I think about it, they make complete sense.
I've heard other people have put the findings into action and are
now in GREAT relationships with wonderful men (who they can
actually UNDERSTAND, for a change).
Once again, you can find her page right here:
http://www.emily-recommends.com/annalyncaras
While you're there, be sure to notice the testimonials from lots of
happy women!
=====
SHOULD I TRY HARDER TO MAKE HIM LIKE ME?
Dear Emily McKay,
First of all I want to say that your emails are very interesting to
read.
I would like to ask you about my particular dating issue.
Some time ago I met a guy and we started dating. I like him and he
seems to like me too but I am concerned about how much he likes me.
When we meet he acts nice and fun, but keeps it cool.
Maybe its because he is little bit shy around me. Actually we do
not meet too often like couple times a month and send few SMSes.
So I cant rid of the idea that he just meets with me when he has no
other more interesting plans. At the moment I don't have other
dates, so I keep going out with him.
Well, it is just the beginning as we were dating only for 2 months.
We both are open to date others. I would like to meet with him more
often, but I feel lack of his interest in me, which turns my
enthusiasm off.
Is it better just quit with him or try to increase the interest?
I would be very thankful for your comments.
Lucia (Santiago, Chile)
=====
Hello Lucia:
First of all, I'm thrilled you are enjoying the newsletters.
You know, your question may be one of the most common ones I
receive on a regular basis.
When a guy doesn't exactly fawn over you, it just makes you think
about him all the time, doesn't it? It makes you want him
MORE...right?
Why is that?
Well, it kind of makes you feel as if you're going to have to earn
his affection. And since the two of you are "open" to dating
others, it tends to cause of feeling of wondering what other women
are vying for his attention.
Most of us as women really aren't so into competition, are we?
Yet, when we know we have a guy who isn't falling for us so
quickly, it makes us all the more intrigued.
Our minds start working overtime trying to plan how we can get him
to understand that the best woman for him is right before his very
eyes...if only he'd "see the light" and figure it out.
So what do we do? Well, we can simply give up, as you've suggested
as one option you are considering.
But nobody wants to be a quitter! That just feels so, well...weak.
On the other hand, however, when a woman recognizes herself as a
great catch and believes herself to be a woman of confidence and a
solid self esteem she feels slightly indignant about the man's
apparent blindness to the situation.
It's with that mindset she might actually choose the SECOND option
you have presented: She'll redouble her efforts to impress him.
In other words, she sets out to PROVE herself.
Perhaps ironically, and certainly contrary to what makes sense,
this determination can actually drive a man away.
It's true. And this isn't a gender-specific thing, either.
Think about it. Have you ever met a man who very quickly became
completely infatuated with you?
Perhaps he called you several times a day, gushed about how
wonderful you are and maybe even bought you expensive gifts.
Or maybe he just seemed to sacrifice everything at your feet...
including his dignity.
Were you MORE attracted to him because of all this?
Probably not.
If you're like most women you were left feeling a bit empty.
It's almost as if you felt that if you were able to capture this
man's heart, mind and soul so easily, you could probably do even
better.
It's a terrible feeling to realize you're seeing a man in this way,
especially when he's so super nice to you.
But you can't change how you feel.
And were you to chase this man with renewed enthusiasm, my guess is
he would...as I suggested...be driven away.
So what to do?
There's actually a THIRD option.
But I feel I must tell you, it's not the easiest way to go.
If you want him to take more notice of you, you simply have to
become less available. And you have to build other activities into
your life that cause you not to focus on him so much.
Now I fully realize that you already don't see him so much. My
impression is that you don't talk to each other all that often
either.
So right now I would have to suppose you aren't the highest
priority in his life.
That doesn't change what I told you, however.
Why is that?
Well it's really all about your ATTITUDE. If you are at his whim
when he DOES call you, he feels you are pretty easy to corral,
cowgirl.
Were you to actually NOT be available on a night he wants to see
you...or NOT pick up the phone when he calls...that would clue him
in that you are more of a challenge.
Does this all sound like game playing? Well, if it is all simply
manufactured behavior for the sake of going through the motions,
then it IS just a 'game'.
But if you can successfully consider yourself a woman who DOES have
options when it comes to attracting great men, and who DOES have a
life full of excitement beyond what one guy can provide on an
irregular basis, then the authenticity of who you are will create
genuine intrigue.
If not in this guy, then in many, many others who will find you
irresistible.
And you'll find it happening more and more often.
As for the guy you're seeing, he may or may not respond as you
wish. He's his own person.
But becoming the woman who neither gives up nor chases--but who
rather rests in her desirability---will always make you the one
who creates the most natural attraction from men.
Have Fun,
Emily McKay
P.S. Have you joined our fun community on Facebook yet? You
can find it right here:
http://www.facebook.com/scotandemily
Please "like" the page and jump right into the conversation!
=====
(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2012. All Rights Reserved.
This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X & Y Communications.
It is never sent to those who have not asked for it. If you
believe you have been sent this message in error, please use the
link below to quickly and securely remove yourself from our
mailing list.