[X&Y Emily] Pick me! Pick me!
Published: Fri, 01/11/08
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MAIN SITE: www.deservewhatyouwant.com
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IN THIS EDITION: As women what do we do with a man who is interested
in us and another woman? And how do we get a guy to pick us over
her? Find out in this newsletter.
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Dear Emily,
Thank you so much for your newsletters! I have a question... I am
dating this guy who is dating me and another girl, how do I know if
he is really interested in me? How can I make him more interested in
me than the other girl? He is such an amazing catch but is it
silly for me to wait around for him to decide what he wants? HELP!
Thanks,
Dana
Dear Dana,
I am happy that you wrote me. Your question on how to get your guy
to pick you is one that many women are facing.
When you first meet a guy, he may be seeing other women at the time.
After the two of you get to know each other, at some point he will
have to decide to continue dating multiple women or become
exclusive with you.
That's a given.
If you are looking for a life partner rather than just a series of
casual flings, then you are very wise not to be willing to "wait
around" should he prove not to have similar goals as you.
It's a great idea to spend the first few dates evaluating a
man's long-term potential (as he no doubt is evaluating yours also).
But once you feel you have found a man with whom you'd like to pursue
something more long-term, you need to communicate your expectations
of an exclusive relationship to him effectively.
It's completely fair to tell him that you won't wait around forever.
I stop short at recommending that you deliver an ultimatum, though.
Why?
Although many women would be tempted to say to a man they've been
seeing for a few weeks or months, "Make me your girlfriend or else!",
I believe that such ultmatums only serve to place you in a position
of weakness. It really makes a woman look "desperate".
Your idea of giving him every reason--and opportunity--to choose you
on his own is a much better idea than using "leverage tactics".
As far as *how* to make him choose you, that will depend on how well
matched you are and how well you demonstrate to him that you are a
rare, high quality woman that he would be foolish to let slip by
him.
Most men have no problems committing to a women whom they believe
is a great catch. As long as you have worked on making yourself that
woman, then you should never settle for a man who does not appreciate
that rare opportunity to be with someone like you.
Handle yourself with feminine grace, and show class at all times.
Show yourself to be a trustworthy woman who will not be forever
"testing" him by flirting with other guys--especially right there in
front of him. This is a major cause of boyfriends being unsure of
committing to a woman...and rightly so.
Strangely though, men will almost never cite this fact as the reason
why for fear of either appearing weak and/or starting an "unnecessary"
argument.
Instead, they'll tend to simply keep the status quo...especially if
the sex is good and the pressure is otherwise low.
Finally, realize that a man wants a woman who approves of him and is
his greatest cheerleader when it comes to rooting for him to
fulfill his life's purpose.
Women who can put aside the temptation to try to change a man (and
Heaven forbid nag him to death about it) are exactly the ones who
tend to attract a great man who is worthy of our respect.
And the beauty of that is you don't *have* to change a guy like that.
You can be proud to have him in your life.
I wish you the best in your life.
Have fun,
Emily
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I think just about every one of us has walked in Dana's shoes before.
Being the kind of woman who a truly terrific man chooses over all
others changes your life. Instead of dating a string of "commitment
phobic" men, you suddenly have men wanting to marry you rather soon
after you meet them...maybe even after the first or second date!
Although I hope you aren't the type who would make a hasty decision
and run off to Vegas with a guy you just met, these are indeed what
we call "high quality problems" here at X & Y Communications.
Last time I announced my brand new program Click With Him. One of the
biggest reasons I've worked so hard to make Click With Him great is
because my passion is to watch YOU become a woman who has complete
control over her dating life...eventually meeting an amazing man
who lights up your life and sharing a blissful future with him.
This THURSDAY, February 28th I'll be officially launching Click With
Him. And I couldn't be more excited!
So far it includes over TEN HOURS of audio on how to maximize high-
quality womanhood so you can meet--and attract--the kind of man you
want...without ever "settling".
Best of all, I show you exactly how you can even meet a great man
ONLINE, like I did. I've even developed a 30-day plan for doing
just that.
But whether you are online or not, I've stuck to my vision for making
Click With Him the ultimate program for women who will settle for
nothing less than deserving the greatest man they've ever met.
Is that you?
If so, then I'm sure you'll be thrilled by Click With Him...and I
can't wait to introduce it to you on Thursday!
In the meantime, let me introduce you to two of my friends--each of
whom is actually a special guest on my Click With Him program, as
you'll soon find out.
You may already know Mia Summers and Amy Waterman, actually, as they
are the respective "lady gurus" from MeetYourSweet and 000Relationships
down under in New Zealand.
Their brand new book Conversation Chemistry has just been released
TODAY, and it's a great way to learn how to communicate with men more
effectively than you ever dreamed:
http://www.meetyoursweet.com/conversationchemistry?a=b0580e5b
As you may have guessed already, I was happy to contribute a cool
bonus program on "how to read a man's body language" as part of the
package. So Conversation Chemistry is the PERFECT primer to get
you ready for Click With Him.
http://www.meetyoursweet.com/conversationchemistry?a=b0580e5b
Can't wait to talk to you on Thursday!
Have fun,
Emily
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