[X&Y Emily] This Brought Me To Tears,
Published: Thu, 03/13/08
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IN THIS EDITION: Today I share a story with you about what a truly
committed relationship looks like. Then, we'll discover five steps
to meeting a great man for yourself!
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To get things started today, I want you to think about the kind of
relationship you want in your life as of today...and what that
relationship may look like in the distant future.
Can you envision it? Close your eyes if you need to.
Now the bigger question: Do you believe such a relationship
exists?
Better yet, do you believe such a relationship can become reality
in YOUR LIFE?
Recently I came across an article in our local newspaper that was so
touching it brought me to tears.
It was about a couple named Connie and Ike who loved each other
dearly, and had done so faithfully for many, many years.
In fact, Connie met Ike 38 years ago at a country-western dance
hall.
Ike fondly remembers their first date it was like it was yesterday.
They had talked all night until the sun came up.
It wasn't long before they were in love and married.
They raised two sons and looked forward to the day they would play
and laugh with their grandkids on the front porch of their house.
This was part of their retirement lifestyle, as they had envisioned
it.
But life took an unexpected turn along the way.
Back in 2002 she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's at the age of 52.
Ike retired early to take care of her.
As time went on, eventually he had to dress her and put double
locks on the door to keep her from wandering off and getting lost.
One day she lifted picture from the shelf and gazed at it. It was
their wedding photo. She took it to him and asked who the couple
was. "Oh, that was a killer," Ike had quoted to the newspaper
reporter, his voice choking with emotion.
(I get a lump in my throat thinking about this.)
Her condition worsened to the point where he could no longer take
care of her by himself. Today the precious time they have together
is limited to visits at the nursing home where she now lives.
"I'm having to live for now, because there's no future," Ike says
in the article, his voiced laden with sadness. "We were planning to
retire together, to grow old together, to sit on rocking chairs and
rock them grandbabies, and it's just not going to happen now."
But there are still some bright spots, according to the article.
Connie's face often lights up when he walks into the special care
unit.
She seems to enjoy his shoulder rubs.
And after she has eaten and they go back to her room--which he has
decorated with colored lights--Ike puts a country-western CD on the
player. And Connie and Ike are then able to do the one thing the
fog of Alzheimer's hasn't yet destroyed:
They dance.
After reading about Connie and Ike's story I cried.
But on the lighter side, Connie had the relationship she dreamed of.
She had a happy family for as long as she was able to.
And she has a great man in her life who loves her to the point of
taking care of her despite her condition.
It made me think about how relationships are so important for
emotional and physical support.
But if you're not in a relationship or dating the wrong guy, then
the question is how do you change that situation...and meet a great
man?
Simply put, if you don't have that relationship in your life today,
what it will take to attain it?
The first step, as basic as it sounds, is to believe that such a
man exists.
Pronouncing that "all men are the same" (read: "no good at all") is
NOT going to draw a man to you who thinks that changing your mind
about that is a "nice challenge".
It just doesn't happen like that in the real world.
Great men know that attempting to "change" a woman typically ends
similarly to when we as women try to "change" a man!
The fact remains, however, that I personally know of lots of men
who make great life partners.
And there ARE more out there.
The second step is to make a list of at least 10 qualities you
desire in a partner with all your heart. List them in order of
importance.
Make sure any man you choose to date regularly has all 10
qualities. The time to make this list is BEFORE you get
emotionally involved with someone to the point of rationalizing
away your "dealbreakers".
The third step is to make yourself available to meeting him. If
you go to work and then go straight home...every day...how is he to
meet you?
Get out there and do something like dancing, taking classes or
joining social groups. A key tip is to remember to smile in public
so you seem personable and therefore approachable.
Fourth, make it a goal to meet as many men as possible. This means
having to be open-minded to ideas as to where and how to meet men.
If you have never tried online dating, now is the time.
If you are online already, is your profile getting responses from
the kind of men you are looking for?
Fifth, go on dates. Don't do so with the intent to quiz guys and
get to know everything about them on the first date or two.
Instead, simply enjoy the company of the men you meet.
Go have fun together, by going bicycling or fishing.
If you click, then start asking some personal questions by date 3
or 4 to get to know him better.
For richer or poorer, sickness or health, Connie's husband Ike
knows the meaning of "commitment". Such men are true "knights in
shining armor", aren't they?
And it's up to us to deserve a man like that.
So after you meet YOUR Mr. Wonderful what can be done IMMEDIATELY
to endear him to you?
And how can you become the woman he'll make a LASTING COMMITMENT to?
I will cover some tips on drawing attraction and keeping it in my
next newsletter.
And if you want to get a head start, my Click With Him program is
where that beginning can take place RIGHT NOW. Discover it for
yourself at:
http://www.clickwithhim.com/online_dating
You'll notice that I've make getting Click With Him even easier
now, thanks to "Easy Purchase". I know many of you are college
students or single moms on a budget. You can take a full three
months to pay:
http://www.clickwithhim.com/online_dating
And I'll be visiting with you again soon.
Have fun,
Emily
P.S. I believe everyone who wants a great relationship is able to
have one. Everyone should enjoy being loved and having a happy
family. It comes with not settling for just any man but finding a
great man who wants to dream of the two of you growing old together.
P.P.S. Have you heard the Online Dating Profile Rating podcast
that Scot and I host together? Episode 23 was just released, and
you can find it on iTunes or at:
http://www.x-net-media.com/
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X & Y Communications is dedicated to making you the most skilled
participant in the dating world you can be, at whatever stage of
life you are in. It's all about straight talk about the most
creative subjects, somehow encompassing character-based principles
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