[X&Y Emily] What If He Looks At Other Women?
Published: Sat, 06/14/08
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DESERVE WHAT YOU WANT (WOMEN'S EDITION):
http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com/women
(E-book + audiobook: read or listen...your choice!)
CLICK WITH HIM:
http://www.clickwithhim.com/online_dating
(NOW...Watch the new video on how to order and what you can expect
from the program!)
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IN THIS EDITION: What if your guy looks at other women? What's
reasonable and how much is TOO much? Read on for answers...
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FUN TELECONFERENCE CALL *THIS* TUESDAY: The queen of "how to seduce a
man" herself, Claudia A., is going to be interviewing Scot and I on
Tuesday night, 17th June at 6p Pacific/9p Eastern time. (GMT -7,
GMT -4).
Be sure to mark that in your calendar right now.
The topic will be "How To Meet And Seduce Men Online", and the call
will run between an hour and an hour and a half, until all of YOUR
questions are answered.
That's right, you'll get a chance to ask us questions directly!
The call is free...only long-distance charges apply (but that's why
we've got killer mobile phone plans, right ladies?)
What's the call in number?
Dial: 269-320-8400
Access Code: 232549#
Simply dial in on Tuesday night, and punch in the access code when
prompted.
See you on the call!
And for more information...and a chance to hear Claudia's cool
Austrian accent, visit her site:
http://www.howtoseduceaman.net
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WHAT IF MY GUY LOOKS AT OTHER WOMEN?
Emily,
I really like your Click With Him program.
What is your advice about what I should say to my fiance who looks
back at other women, checking them out after they have passed?
He never flirts with other women or makes eye contact with them in
a flirting way, or appears to try to let them know he is looking at
them.
I told him that it hurts me. He said the other women don't mean
anything to him.
He remembered for a while but then went back to it after a month
went by. He's extremely sacrificing for me in other ways.
Sandra (Louisville, KY)
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Sandra,
Thank you for writing me. And congratulations on your engagement!
I understand how you feel. But without really knowing you or your
fiancé very well, I can only give some ideas as to what may be
going on.
For starters, I'm going to assume that you are doing your best to
look great and that you have not let yourself go in style, fitness
and/or personality departments.
I have been in a relationship in the past with a man who was very
blatant about looking at women. And yes it hurt me too.
I felt as if I did everything possible to be an attractive
woman--inside and out. As such, I believed I did not deserve that
kind of disrespect. Then again, who does?
The bottom line is he wanted a woman with a huge chest and who was
tall like a model. I'm only 5'1" and at that time I was a size "A".
One time he actually went so far as to follow a woman at the
grocery store with his mouth hung open...literally.
In his defense she was in shorts that showed her butt cheeks and a
top that showed her mid section and most of her breasts. Everyone
noticed her...men and women alike. LOL
Long story short, if your fiancé is brazen enough to habitually
gawk at other women in your very presence, don't plan on his
behavior changing.
It's one of those things you either choose to put up with or find
someone who considers you more desirable than other women.
Now you know by now that I don't ever, ever recommend "settling"
for less in a man than you want.
Let's face it, though--it's unreasonable to expect to cure a man of
looking at any other woman...ever.
But the fact remains: If he has not "settled" for you and esteems
you above other women he will indeed respect you enough not to
openly lust after other babes...either in your presence or when the
two of you are apart.
Appreciation of female beauty is one thing, and in a perfect world
a man and a woman who are partners can still acknowledge that there
are indeed attractive people on Earth besides the two of them.
But let's take a look at it from another possible angle before
closing the book on this discussion.
The truth is, some women are the jealous type--no matter what a man
does.
Some men live in fear that if a pretty woman walks by even if he
does not look that his wife or girlfriend will get very upset.
A man in this situation can never win. Unfortunately this kind of
behavior from a woman will drive a man away...usually sooner than
later.
It's hard to live a life where you are always being accused of
cheating or looking at women when you are innocent.
With that said, remember all men will look to some degree.
Scot indeed notices women, but he does not get whiplash doing so.
And he does not look at the women in a way that openly indicates
that he wants them sexually.
If he had seen the woman my ex and I had saw at the grocery store,
Scot would have noticed her but he would not have been drooling
over her.
Scot always lets me know how much he loves me. He also tells and
shows me how much he finds me to be the most attractive woman to
him.
As such, I feel safe and secure with him. He does not make me feel
like less of a woman.
But you can't get this kind of feeling from a man naturally by
ruling over him with an iron fist. You've got to be the woman of
his dreams...and by doing so you deserve what you want in a man.
My first suggestion would be to determine if you might be just
feeling jealous. Is your expectation in fact for your fiancé to
never look at women at all?
If so, this can be rectified because this is something you have
ultimate control over. Believe you are the kind of woman your
fiancé really wants...and in doing so empower him to remain attracted
to and committed to you forever.
Notwithstanding that, if your fiancé has a legitimately
uncontrollable habit of undressing every woman who passes with his
eyes, my next suggestion is to determine to what degree is your
fiancé is causing you to feel uneasy and why is he doing it?
In that case, definitely have a talk with him. There has got to be
communication.
My guess is that he already knows his actions are both
disrespectful and hurtful to you. If he cannot curb his appetite
for the smörgåsbord of women elsewhere, he may very well not be
ready for a committed relationship with you.
A little honesty can go a long way here...and that's exactly what the
two of you need right now.
I wish you both the best. Any time two people who have been living
single lives come together there are always bumps in the road to
iron out. The trick is to make sure those issues are indeed
resolved before it's too late to turn back.
Have fun,
Emily
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Isn't it time you took the wealth of secrets jam-packed into my
Click With Him program and made them your own?
My guess is that it could very well make the difference between
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So now it's all even easier than ever. Watch that video right here:
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Or, you can also go directly to the Click With Him page and watch
using the link near the top of the page:
http://www.clickwithhim.com/online_dating
My goal is to make it as easy as possible for you to get Click With
Him and start enjoying a wildly successful dating life...online OR
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I'll type atcha again soon. Remember to write!
Have Fun,
Emily McKay
P.S. The new X & Y On The Fly podcast is going to be called "Who
Wears The Pants?" and it promises to be BIG FUN. We've got "woman
on the street" interviews and everything for this one!
Check iTunes in a couple of days, or the feed at:
http://feeds.feedburner.com/xyonthefly
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