[X&Y Emily] Can You Change Him, ?
Published: Sun, 05/11/08
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DESERVE WHAT YOU WANT (WOMEN'S VERSION):
http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com/women
(Now including an AUDIOBOOK version)
CLICK WITH HIM:
http://www.clickwithhim.com/online_dating
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IN THIS EDITION: Sometimes we really like a guy, but we don't
exactly like...well...*everything* about him. Maybe it's one of
his habits, part of his lifestyle or even how he feels about YOU.
Can you change how he is?
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HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!: First of all, I want to wish all of you hot
mommies out there the happiest Mother's Day ever. If you are in
country where today is Mother's Day, make it a point to celebrate,
because you deserve it!
If today isn't officially Mother's Day where you are, celebrate
anyway.
BTW, if you're a single mom, or a full-time student for that matter,
I realize you may be on a budget. If you've been wanting Deserve
What You Want or Click With Him e-mail me at emily@clickwithhim.com
for a SPECIAL COUPON CODE that will make things MUCH easier for you.
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IS HE GOING TO BE THIS WAY FOREVER???
Dear Emily,
What if a woman is being less available, enjoying her own activities
and not putting priority on the man she actually really is interested
in- but this man keeps dating the same way and shows just little
interest in her?
What if a man keeps asking her out couple times a month, prepares a
nice fun date, but keeps it cool (no sweet words or kisses).
Few months passed, can he date like this forever?
Thank you for your answers.
Well, I need to learn much more about dating, so I'm waiting for
your newsletter very much. And I'm really interested in getting your
new products, looks like you both are great experts of relationships.
Kind regards,
Lina (Lithuania)
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Hello Lina:
Thank you for your message and for your kind words.
The simple answer to your question about whether a man can continue
dating casually indefinitely is "Yes, of course he can."
He's likely dating several women and you are simply one of many
options.
This doesn't make him a bad guy, necessarily. Especially since it
sounds from your e-mail like he's not exactly pressuring you
sexually or anything.
Is sure looks to me like he's a guy who is very much leaving his
"options open".
Ultimately, this means he's someone with very different priorities
from what yours appear to be.
If you want a man who is interested in pursuing a steady
relationship, you have to find a different man.
You can't just change his mind.
Actually, we as women talk a lot about changing the men in our lives.
This isn't necessarily limited to trying to tweak his level of
commitment to a relationship either.
For example, we might start dating a guy who smokes but then try to
get him to quit.
We might try to get him to stop seeing certain friends of his. Or
we could want him to sell his motorcycle, stop traveling so much
for business and/or change his hairstyle.
But when it all comes down to it, just like you are your own person,
he's his own person also.
And as a matter of fact, it's often the case that if a man WERE to
change for us, we might inexplicably appreciate the "new improved"
version LESS than we did the guy we became enthralled with from the
start.
Actually, as silly as it sounds, some women report losing respect
for a man when he succumbs to pressure to change. Strange how the
mind works sometimes, isn't it?
On top of all of that, here's another thing to think about.
Consider how frustrating it would be if you met a man who said he
liked you lots, but kept telling you the ways he wanted you to be
different.
After a while, that would wear on your nerves, wouldn't it?
Well, trying to get a man to change in order to better meet your
needs puts a similar strain on the relationship.
It doesn't sound like you are nagging him. Nonetheless, your e-mail
presented a perfect opportunity to talk about this crucial issue.
Bottom line? You mentioned that he plans nice dates but doesn't
exactly sweep you off your feet with "sweet words and kisses".
It's time to stop dwelling upon a man who is already falling short
of your expectations and put yourself in the position of meeting
men who are more relationship-minded and who know what it means to
be romantic.
Otherwise, you're just trying to fit a square peg in a round hole,
right?
I'm also glad you mentioned being interested in trying Deserve What
You Want or Click With Him.
In fact, the Women's Version of Scot's book Deserve What You Want
is an incredible way to prepare yourself for meeting the most
fantastic guy ever.
Put the past behind, discover what you really want in a man,
deserve what you want and go make it happen! It's all in there.
And just last night Scot put the finishing touches on something
really cool: the AUDIOBOOK version of Deserve What You Want.
Now you can get the e-book, all the bonuses PLUS each chapter on
MP3 audio:
http://www.dating-advise.us/women
If you'd much rather have Scot read the book to you while you are
at the gym or doing laundry, then this is the break you've been
waiting for!
This is ALL new, so if you have checked out the Web page in the
past be sure to take another look:
http://www.dating-advise.us/women
And by the way, if you ALREADY HAVE Deserve What You Want, be sure
to check the Member's Area again: You can now download the audio
version too.
Have a great day all of you magnificent mommies (and future mommies).
I'll write to you again soon.
Have Fun,
Emily McKay
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