[X&Y Emily] Are Maternal Instincts Important To Men?
Published: Tue, 09/23/08
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DESERVE WHAT YOU WANT (WOMEN'S EDITION):
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IN THIS EDITION: OK, here's a GREAT question that I'm sure crosses
every woman's mind once in a while. And I've got a surprising
answer to go with it!
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...Just something really fun that I thought I'd give to you as my way
of saying "thanks" for reading the newsletter!
And now, let's hear from Hope in Montreal, Quebec...
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ARE MATERNAL INSTINCTS IMPORTANT TO MEN?
Dear Emily,
My name is Hope. I have a quick question. I forget whether it was
Amy Waterman or yourself who gave the advice that men find femininity
attractive, including motherly qualities.
The problem is having children is not a major goal for me. Unlike
most women I'm not worried about my biological clock, although I am
young so I don't need to worry so much about my biological clock.
Are the only quality men the one's who expect their wives to have
children? Or vice versa...to be a quality woman must I want to have
children?
Sincerely,
Hope (Montreal, Quebec)
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Hello Hope:
Alright! Now THERE'S a question I don't get asked every day. And
it's a REALLY good one, isn't it?
Here's my take on it.
For starters, there's no doubt that masculine guys are attracted to
feminine women. It's like a magnetic effect. So naturally, if you
are into really manly guys, being that kind of woman will bring you
great success.
And I'd also say that having a strong maternal instinct, perhaps
demonstrated by a love of children and/or caring for them, is
decidedly NOT going to be a turn-OFF for most men, per se.
But having made the two points above, I want to clarify a few things
that I think are VERY, VERY important to grasp.
First, having "motherhood qualities" is NOT necessarily *synonymous*
with "femininity".
I think it's only one possible component of many possible ways for a
woman to express herself in a manner that's attractive to MOTOS
(Members Of The Opposite Sex).
Just like "chocolate" is really yummy, it's far from the ONLY
delicious treat on Earth.
OK, maybe that's not the best analogy...but you get my point! :->
Next, I would say that most men ARE probably suspect of a woman who
blatantly shows a strong *disdain* for children. That would probably
be a "red flag".
Then again, though, aren't you just slightly suspect of GUYS who
really dislike little ones, also?
BUT, finally, I don't at all believe that you HAVE to be all about
filling the house with the pitter-patter of "little feet".
Honestly, I think whether that's important to a man in and of itself
all comes down to PREFERENCE.
That's right, it's a matter of COMPATIBILITY.
If a man you meet would LOVE to have kids someday, and he sees you
as a great potential mommy for his children, that's a REALLY GOOD
thing.
But hey, if he isn't so into having kids, then watching you get a
little dreamy-eyed everytime you see a little one in a cute Gymboree
outfit might send him packing! LOL
But that's what makes the world go 'round. Some of us want kids,
some of us don't.
The trick is for the right ones of us to FIND EACH OTHER.
So those of you who aren't about makin' babies just yet, definitely
be 100% woman and appreciate a great guy when he deserves it...and
rest assured you'll find him.
And hey...you won't have "mother" HIM either. "Appreciating" him
and "mothering" him aren't exactly the same thing. And really...
MOST guys really AREN'T looking for another "Mommy", I promise you.
And to you mamas (or someday-mamas) out there, there are TONS of
guys who are ready to start a family and/or accept you along with
the kids you already have.
It's true!
Each of us is unique, and that's what makes life so cool.
Have Fun,
Emily McKay
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P.S. Hey, here's something REALLY FUN for you. I LOVE when these
opportunities come along...
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Here's that link again. I highly recommend getting in on this!
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