[X&Y Emily] What Are His Intentions?
Published: Sat, 02/28/09
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IN THIS ISSUE: How do you know a man's intentions... especially when
you are just starting to date?
Today I'm going to share you a valuable secret that can enable you
to discover the truth INSTANTLY...
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WHAT ARE HIS INTENTIONS?
Last night Scot and I shared a rare moment of down time watching
television together. An episode of "Millionaire Matchmaker"
happened to be on.
If you've not happened to see the show before, it's about a lady
who specializes in introducing millionaire gentlemen to women for
the purpose of dating, and perhaps marriage.
Well, in this particular episode, a man had indeed been introduced
to a woman, and on their first or second date he had asked the
woman to go to Las Vegas with him on the spur of the moment.
When she was clearly reticent about joining him, he had retorted
with "Hey, I promise to be a perfect gentleman...I won't try any
'funny stuff' at all."
But the die had been cast, of course. She wasn't interested in
going to Vegas with him!
As you can imagine, any time Scot and I watch any 'dating shows'
such as this on TV, we can't help but discuss what's going on.
Sure enough, this was no exception.
"Well, that's where he blew it", Scot announced.
"What do you mean?"
"He has given a woman he barely knows EVERY INDICATION that his
intentions are less than honorable up front. So when it's written
all over her face that she's concerned, THEN he falls back on a
promise to be a 'perfect gentlemen'. But by then it sounds like a
cheesy SALESman talking rather than a GENTLEman, doesn't it?"
I knew immediately what he was talking about.
Scot realizes what ALL of us as women INSTINCTIVELY use as a major,
major yardstick to decide whether things are going anywhere with a
man or not.
And that's TRUST.
If we do not feel SAFE with a man--if he cannot provide us with a
sense of SECURITY in his presence--then all bets are off.
Especially any "bets" in Vegas, baby!
Unfortunately, the guy on the TV show had pushed the proverbial
envelope of trust WAY too early in his relationship with the woman
he had just met.
And by ASSUMING that she would be amenable to a spontaneous
getaway, he only caused her "warning radar" to sound.
And that's EXACTLY how it SHOULD BE for her.
When a man has the presence of mind to understand our need for
safety and security--AND the character to respect that--then his
actions speak louder than his words.
Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not sure a very high percentage of us
would simply take off on a junket to Vegas with a guy we barely
know...at least I hope not.
But the basic principle at play here shows up ALL THE TIME in more
subtle ways as we meet and interact with men in the early stages of
relationships.
For example, if you're talking to a man online and it becomes time
to meet in person, he may approach the scenario in two different
ways.
First, he may say, "Hey, tell me where you live and I'll pick you
up and take you to my favorite place. It'll be my surprise."
Picture that happening. How would you respond to that kind of offer?
Or...a man may approach the opportunity to meet you in a decidedly
DIFFERENT way:
"I think it's time we met. I fully realize that we don't know each
other yet, so I know it's going to be important to you to meet at a
public place. How about if we meet at the Starbucks on 5th and
Main before work on Thursday?"
Need I ask which would make you feel more comfortable?
Importantly, we must ALWAYS take careful note of whether or not a
man is displaying signs of solid character or not as we get to know
him.
And even if a man IS apparently respectful of our circumspection up
front, that shouldn't serve as a signal for us to throw caution to
the wind.
Scot has mentioned to me that several women online had read that he
knew how to cook in his profile and had invited themselves over to
his house for the first date!
Even HE was utterly shocked by those women's cavalier mindset
toward meeting a total stranger.
Scot's not exactly an "axe murderer", of course. But that's really
beside the point...
Any man who makes all the right moves when planning early dates
with you is going to do so with respect and attentiveness to your
feelings.
That's what a man of dignity, character and CLASS is all about.
When you see that, it's a GREAT sign, so proceed with due caution
and have fun!
But when a man presumes compromise of your personal comfort level,
that shows a clear lack of regard for you. So let that be a red
flag.
Don't ever feel COMPELLED to go on a date with a guy who "doesn't
get it" in this regard.
If you are uncomfortable, find the courage to say "NO", even if you
are habitually a "YES" person (which is a WHOLE 'nother newsletter,
as we say here in Texas).
It could be the most important dating decision EVER.
And if he brings up your safety AFTER you object to his plan?
Make that a DOUBLE in the "red flag" department.
After all, that only shows that he really has known what would have
been the respectful path all along, and yet hoped for your
unconditional compliance anyway.
Date smart, ladies! There are absolutely, positively some TERRIFIC
men out there who want to treat you right.
The manner in which he arranges dates with you is but one of MANY
ways a man telegraphs his level of character to you early on.
Wouldn't it be great to get into the minds of men more deeply so as
to become EVEN WISER as we meet them and evaluate their "future
potential"?
Sometimes it all just seems like an enigma, wrapped inside a
question and surrounded by a quandary doesn't it?
Well, it DOESN'T HAVE TO BE.
In Attraction Makeover, you're about to be treated to nearly TWO
HOURS worth of TOTAL IMMERSION into how men think.
For starters, you'll listen in to a conversation I has with Scot on
"Decoding Men", which is something you just can't miss.
Then, you're actually going to get to be a "fly on the wall" as
FIVE world-class guy dating coaches--each known for his deep respect
and true affection for women--share EXACTLY what it is they look for
in a great woman.
Find out what captures their attention AND what KEEPS them attracted.
I'm telling you, this is like PURE GOLD if you've EVER thrown your
hands up in the air wondering, 'What is he THINKING?"
Some women spend a LIFETIME never figuring ANY of this out. But
the answers are all right here for you in Attraction Makeover:
http://www.attraction-makeover/subscribers
And of course you'll also discover a potpourri of ways to become
the MOST ATTRACTIVE woman to HIGH QUALITY men that you can be. All
MUCH more easily than you may think!
Right now, along with almost FOUR TOTAL HOURS of nonstop audio,
I've got FOUR GREAT BONUSES for you, including a NEW ONE from none
other than Mirabelle Summers at Meet Your Sweet.
You can also get a month's worth of access to my Keys To Bliss
program also...featuring even more ways you can go from GOOD to GREAT
in your relationships.
Plus, you get UNLIMITED e-mail coaching...all F-R-E-E for a whole
month.
So with Spring almost here, make sure you claim your very own copy
of Attraction Makeover today.
It's all about being the MOST ATTRACTIVE woman you can be AND
knowing how to recognize the RIGHT GUY.
And that's not just what it's ALL ABOUT, that's ALL that it's ALL
ABOUT when you get right to it.
If you've somehow never checked out Attraction Makeover--or seen my
fun video on that page--then there's never been a better time than
now. Here's that link again:
http://www.attraction-makeover/subscribers
That's all for now. Take care and do something wonderful for
yourself on this fine Saturday.
And as always, be sure to write me at emily@clickwithhim.com with
your questions...they may be featured right here on this newsletter.
Have Fun,
Emily McKay
P.S. Here's something FUN that I wanted to make sure to mention.
TODAY I'm going to be my new friend Julie Spira's guest on her cool
radio show called "Ask The Cyber-Dating Expert".
We'll be talking all about online dating, of course!
It's LIVE on BlogTalk Radio TODAY (Saturday, 2/28) at 2p EST (GMT
-5) / 11a PST. You can listen in right over the Internet.
Here are all the details:
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Cyber-Dating-Expert
We're on in just a few of hours from now. Will you join us?
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X & Y Communications is dedicated to making you the most skilled
participant in the dating world you can be, at whatever stage of
life you are in. It's all about straight talk about the most
creative subjects, somehow encompassing character-based principles
while being neither too shy nor too judgmental to hit the important
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