[X&Y Emily] Will Love Find You By Accident?
Published: Fri, 01/30/09
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IN THIS ISSUE: Lots of us as women dream of being "swept off our
feet" when we least expect it by a great guy.
But does that really have to be as passive a strategy as it sounds?
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BRAND NEW X & Y ON THE FLY DATING PODCAST
Scot and I just released Episode 41, and it's called "Movie
Moments". This was a really fun one to record, and I'm sure you'll
enjoy it.
Listen in as we talk about some of our favorite romantic movies,
and particularly the great moments where the leading man and the
leading lady really connect...sometimes passionately.
We spell out what it is that the guy does right in those scenes,
and marvel at how well Hollywood seems to understand what drives
men and women wild for each other!
X & Y On The Fly is always f-r-e-e, of course, and you can get your
copy on iTunes right here:
http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=162722277
Or, if you prefer, you can subscribe right from the RSS feed:
http://feeds.feedburner.com/xyonthefly
And now, let's take a look at a one of the most crucial questions
you'll ever face in your dating life--and one that can make or
break what happens in the future...
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WILL LOVE FIND YOU BY ACCIDENT?
Here's a real, live message that Scot got on Twitter last night
from a woman who had just added him to her "follow" list:
"I would like to find a great guy....but by accident. Not actively
searching, but actively hoping...."
As soon as Scot showed me that "tweet", so many emotions washed
over me that I just knew I had to write to you about it.
After all, I could really relate. What woman doesn't dream of
meeting the man of her dreams when she least expects it?
Better yet, we'd love it if our Prince Charming would just come
along and sweep us off of our feet...just like in the movies Scot and
I talk about in our latest podcast.
And sure, the "fairy tale" dreams we have are our prerogative,
aren't they? And when they come true...WOW! It's got to be one of
the greatest feelings on Earth!
But when it DOES happen as we picture it, does it happen by ACCIDENT?
And is HOPE really a solid STRATEGY?
Now I fully understand that the idea of "actively searching" tends
to come off as a bit needy, if not desperate. I don't think any of
us want to come off that way.
And likewise, I completely get that it's great when a man with real
leadership skill and utter confidence goes out of his way to
approach us and meet us.
How else should a "knight in shining armor" present himself, right?
All of that said, though, "actively hoping" sounds kind of like an
oxymoron. You know, kind of like "jumbo shrimp", "graduate
student" or "crash landing".
Hoping sounds a lot more PASSIVE than ACTIVE to me.
And if you've ever wondered whether you really have to sit, wait
and be at the whim of happenstance when it comes to meeting and
attracting the greatest guy you've ever met, allow me to confirm
what you probably already suspect: You don't have to do that.
In fact, you can take FULL CONTROL of your dating life if you so
choose.
By that, I don't necessarily mean playing "Sadie Hawkins" and
chasing after a bunch of guys.
In fact, I believe you can adopt quite a different mindset than
that and STILL be the "chooser" instead of the "chaser".
Here's what I mean.
What in life doesn't come without preparation of some sort? We go
through four years of college to prepare for our careers, and we
read parenting books so that we can be the best Moms we can be.
And certainly nobody ever learned how to play the piano by
"accident", right?
Are you with me so far? LOL
So why do we treat the idea of having a terrific relationship with
a great man as if it's any different?
Sure, you don't have to "throw yourself" at a guy when he comes
along. But you can indeed make sure that you are ready to meet the
right guy when he arrives.
At the "macro" level this means believing there are indeed great
men out there (which there are) and letting your feminine energy
shine throughout your entire being--exactly in the manner that
attracts men like fireflies to light.
At the "micro" level, it means leaving the house dressed as if you
might meet a great man at any time, and wearing the smile that
makes you approachable.
Most certainly, POSITIONING is everything also. If you are a
homebody and rarely leave the house, how is a "chance meeting" ever
going to take place?
Why not get involved with MeetUp.com groups that interest you, join
the gym or finally take those Salsa lessons you've been thinking
about?
And what about online dating, of course? Do you still believe that
online dating success stories are "one in a million" and something
that happens to someone else?
It's sort of like what they say about the lottery: "You've got to
play to win." Except let me encourage you--the odds of finding a
great guy online are WORLDS better than those of winning the
lottery.
It really does happen ALL THE TIME. And YOU can be one of the
success stories!
No doubt, being social, leaving the house ready to meet a great guy
and getting online are ACTIVE strategies. No "hope" necessary,
right?
And what do you know? When you adopt such a mindset, you will have
taken an ACTIVE role in making the relationship you've been
dreaming about come to fruition in your life.
There's no "chasing". In fact, there's nothing undignified there
in the least.
Rather, it's all about presenting yourself as the greatest woman a
man could want, and then making sure you are where he can meet
you--ready in the moment it happens.
Best of all, what I'm sharing with you today doesn't have to be
HARD TO DO, and it doesn't have to take many months, let alone
years to get right.
Ultimately, though, the decision to ACT is up to you.
So many of us as women put our careers first throughout our
twenties and thirties, only to wake up one day and realize we'd
like to have a family someday.
Or, we find ourselves single moms, and postpone dating until our
lives or "less busy" or possibly even until the kids are GROWN UP!
I want to challenge you to take as ACTIVE a role in taking back
control of your dating life as you do in any other aspect of your
life as a modern, empowered woman.
Think of me as your personal source of encouragement to that end.
In fact, I have an audio program for you entitled "How To Take
Control Of Your Dating Life".
In it I share even more concrete, practical ways you can be the
"chooser" instead of the "chaser" when it comes to dating and
relationships:
https://www.plimus.com/jsp/buynow.jsp?contractId=2173312
Best of all, you can have it for seven dollars. That's right, for
about the cost of a sandwich and a soda, you can take an ACTIVE
STEP toward meeting the right man and getting the relationship you
want...maybe even in time for Valentine's Day.
And it's an instant download so you can listen while at the gym or
on your morning commute. Here's that link again:
https://www.plimus.com/jsp/buynow.jsp?contractId=2173312
And don't forget, you can get a f-r-e-e month of access to my new
Keys To Bliss Membership Site just for the asking with any
purchase...even when you get "How To Take Control Of Your Dating
Life" for just seven bucks.
The weekend is here. Why hope for an "accident" any longer? (Just
saying that makes me cringe!) Start taking an active role in
creating your dating destiny...and I'll look forward to hearing your
success stories.
Have Fun,
Emily McKay
P.S. Are you on Twitter yet? If not, you are missing out on SUCH
fun. There are even some really sharp, educated and witty guys who
are there.
To sign up, go here:
http://www.twitter.com
Once you're on, add me as a friend and I'll add you back:
http://www.twitter.com/emilymckay
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X & Y Communications is dedicated to making you the most skilled
participant in the dating world you can be, at whatever stage of
life you are in. It's all about straight talk about the most
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