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IN THIS EDITION:  Wouldn't you know it?  You've met a great
woman, only to find out her birthday is like a day or two after
your first date.  How do you handle things?

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YOU'VE JUST MET A GREAT WOMAN, AND IT'S HER
BIRTHDAY ALREADY


You've met a great woman and everything goes well.  Since you're
wildly attracted to each other you plan a second date.

What do you know?  There's actually potential there for something
good, at least for the short term and possibly for the longer term
also.

And THEN you happen to find out somehow that her birthday is coming
up...fast.  Maybe even within the next day or two.

I'm sure we've all been there before, right?  So what should you do?  

First off, don't panic.  Rest assured that you don't have to
necessarily choose between looking like a needy "nice guy" who's
trying to buy her affection or some sort of knucklehead
"idiot/jerk" (aka "I/J") who shows no care whatsoever.

For starters, if you do have a week or two to burn yet before the
"big day" arrives the important thing to do is RELAX and take a
deep breath.

Since you've just met her, there's actually a good bit of water
that needs to pass under the bridge between today and her birthday.

Anything could happen between the two of you during that time.

So in the interim, be sure not to make any promises (especially big
ones) with regard to any potential birthday celebration(s) you
might plan.  

In fact, be really careful about bringing up her birthday in
general.

And whatever you do, don't plan anything early.  That's would only
serve to rob you of valuable time.

Rather, take a realistic wait and see attitude until a couple
days before her birthday actually comes around.

This is not to be confused with pessimism.  It's simply a
measure of wisdom.

The main point here is that the scope of what you do for a
woman on her birthday should be totally in line with where
your relationship is at that specific point.

For example, the longer you've known her and have had to
gauge her "long term potential", the more elaborate of a
birthday surprise you might plan for her.

So if you've known her for a couple of weeks and have gone on a few
great dates, possibly even having been intimate together, then you
might treat her to dinner and/or get her a small gift of some sort.

Go ahead and ask yourself what you'd likely expect from her were it
your birthday instead of hers.  

Get that mental picture and match it up with your actual real-world
plans for her birthday.  They should be about in line with each
other.

That really is an excellent yardstick to measure by.

After all, if you've only just met her a day or three ago, it'll
become crystal clear to you that a lightweight, humorous card will
be MORE than enough.  

In fact, if you go any more lavish than that it'll probably send
the WRONG message.  

She'll wonder what your hidden agenda is or, as alluded to
earlier, possibly feel as if you're buying her affection early on.

That said, if you already had plans to go do something cool and
want to invite her along, so much the better.  Don't water down
logical date planning in an attempt to overprotect AGAINST looking
like a "birthday brownnoser".  That would be equally transparent.

To be honest, this is indeed a tricky situation no matter what.

But now I've given you the best formula for balancing it out
appropriately.

Just be sure to tell her that this is NOT kindergarten class, and
you absolutely DO NOT know her well enough to spank her once for
each candle on her birthday cake.  Beautiful.


Be Good,

Scot McKay




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