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WHAT'S INSIDE:  When someone is described as "high maintenance",
what image enters your mind?

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FLAWLESS FLIRTATION?


It's the undisputed #1 stumbling block for the
majority of us as men.

I'm talking about how to FLIRT, of course.

I mean, going up and talking to a woman is
hard enough.

Figuring out what to say or do?  Even more
so.

But the TRICKIEST part of all is how to make
her WANT you without coming off like some
kind of creepy jerk.

Well, not anymore:



F-Formula



One of my long-time female dating coach friends
has come up with the most concise and effective
cures for this problem I've ever seen.

Best of all, it's easy to use:



F-Formula



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WHAT DOES "HIGH MAINTENANCE" MEAN?


Everyone is familiar with the term "high maintenance".  And it
appears to carry a connotation that most of us do not want to be
associated with personally. 

But have you ever noticed how difficult it is to be on the same
wavelength as someone else when discussing it?  

Here's what I mean. 

Girl calls Boy (for the sixteenth time this morning) and opens
with, "Um...I was wondering...what should I have for a mid-morning
snack?  Have you eaten anything this morning?" 

Boy responds with, "Wow, girlie.  You are high maintenance." 

Girl responds with, "Me?  High maintenance?  I am not!" 

Boy naturally comes back with, "Hahaha.  YES you ARE.  And I've
really got to get back to work now, okay?"

They hang up, and Girl wonders how she can possibly be anything
close to "high maintenance".  After all, she hasn't had a pedicure
in weeks.

So what happened there?  Why the disconnect?  The answer is
disarmingly simple. 

"High maintenance" is far from a generic term that is easily
defined.  Having thought about it, I'm convinced that each
individual person might have a completely different mental picture
of what it looks like. 

The good news, however, is I believe that the term is not entirely
nebulous, but rather one with multiple-definitions.  Each is rather
clear when considered separately.  Here we go:



1)  Material High Maintenance


This is the woman (or man?) who has expensive tastes and wants it
all.  She has the Tiffany catalog open on the Web while watching
the Home Shopping Network. 

She really likes that little Mercedes convertible that just came
out...or was it the BMW?  Whatever it is, white with tan interior
works.

Doggie purses.  200 pairs of shoes.  You get the picture. 

This is not necessarily gender-specific, but the female stereotype
seems to be a much clearer one.



2)  Physical High Maintenance


This person spends a lot of time on physical health, appearance,
etc.

If a woman, she always has a manicure and a pedicure.  She
also has a tanning salon membership.

If a guy, call the dude "metrosexual". 

Whatever the gender, we are talking about lots of time in the gym.
You can also bet this person is going to take longer than you will
to get ready in the morning...maybe A LOT longer. 



3)  Emotional High Maintenance


This is a person who needs a large amount of "connection".  A phone
call every ten minutes might be in order here just to let you know
he or she was "thinking about you".

Lots of reassurance is required that he or she is still loved.  Such a
person might very well come off as needy or clingy.



4)  Operational High Maintenance


Do you know someone who always needs help with something?  If this
person is involved with something, chances are someone else is
also.  It could be anything. 

This particular example can present itself in the workplace as
easily as in personal relationships.  This stuff isn't necessarily
meant to be manipulative; we're just talking about someone who
tends to depend on others for help/input an awful lot.



5)  Sexual High Maintenance


When the other partner just can't possibly keep up, someone who has
an unusually high, virtually insatiable sex drive could be viewed as
"high maintenance".  This also applies to wanting constant physical
affection, backrubs, etc. 



OK, if you have ever met any of the above, give me a virtual thumbs
up.

From now on, when this topic comes up you should be able to frame
it appropriately and get the point across.

By the way, while reading the examples, did you figure out that
"high maintenance" is not necessarily a bad thing?  Relationships
work for different reasons, of course, and if both partners are in
sync about "maintenance levels" then there isn't a problem. 

For example, a woman may be high maintenance materially.  If her
man has the financial means and loves to lavish his woman with
expensive stuff (and this can be justified in his mind a number of
ways) then there is no issue. 

This will be especially true if the woman is genuinely appreciative
and doesn't develop an entitlement mentality (future newsletter
there).

I can also assure you that lots of people appreciate someone who is
high maintenance physically.  The important thing here is to
realize the time and expense that must be invested to pull that
off.  There's a balance.

Further, some couples equally enjoy affirming each other in the
emotional sense.  If that's what they like, and neither is annoyed
by the amount of time required, it works.

The operational type won't be obnoxious if he or she is the type who
typically (always?) reciprocates by being generous with time and
efforts to others.

And if you ever find yourself in a relationship with the sexually
high maintenance person, that may be a clear case of "be careful
what you wish for, because it just might happen".


Be Good,

Scot McKay




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