[X&Y] How Many Women Have You Slept With? Does It Matter?

Published: Fri, 03/25/22

It's just a number, but who's counting? Apparently, someone is...

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IN THIS EDITION:  It's just a number, but who's counting?
Apparently, someone is...

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HOW MANY WOMEN HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH?  DOES IT
MATTER?


It's common for us as men to judge each other's skills with women
by how many we've had sex with.

In fact, this line of thinking was pretty much de facto standard in
the "underground" world of pickup artists.

One time I encountered yet another blog post on this subject
somewhere.  In it, the author suggested that every "ladies' man"
who is out there giving advice should be required to post his
"body count".

That way, the logic went, we'd know who the real players were
as opposed to the posers.

The thread of comments was long and supportive.

As I somehow have a knack for doing, I posted a comment of
my own that pretty much ended the conversation.
 
Now, just to clear the air here, my first thought was of how
impossible it would be to get trustworthy info out of anyone to
begin with.

I mean, how could you prove or disprove anything?  That was
the most basic problem, especially in a group of men who
lack self-awareness enough to use terms like "body count".

But instead, I went down a different (and decidedly more
entertaining) road.  I asked some simple questions like these.

Do women with whom we have had sex with but wish we hadn't
count? 

On the other hand, what about women we didn't do "the wild
thing" with, but could have?

In my mind those were fair questions. 

I mean, sometimes you can see the trouble that having sex
with a particular woman is going to bring you coming a mile
away...can't you?

Whether you lack wisdom (or condoms) enough to go for it or not
should be taken into consideration, one way or the other.

Notwithstanding that, it's also pretty lame to take advantage of a
woman when she's drunk, right? 

Do you gain a point or forfeit one for that?  Does it at least
matter if she was conscious or not?

And hey...what about oral sex?  Is the Clintonian definition in
effect here or otherwise?  Maybe it counts as, say, half a point? 

What about women you're ashamed to admit you were with
because frankly, they weren't all that attractive? 

Maybe you made sure none of the same friends you're trying to
impress with your "number" ever saw you with her.  That can't
possibly count as a full point, can it?

On the other hand, what if she was insanely sexy?  Shouldn't
that count double, then?

What if she drugged you and "date raped" you? 

What if you've lost count?  Is that even allowed, or are you forced to
make a conservative guess anyway?  Couldn't the argument be
made that even keeping count at all indicates a poverty mentality?

And what if some 50 year-old guy's "number" is only slightly higher
than that of a guy who's only 23?  Who really "wins"?

I could have come up with several more questions that were equally
thought provoking (e.g. What if you paid for it?), but I think you can
already see how silly this is.

If you really were going to judge how gifted someone is with women
by the quantity of his sexual experience, you'd need an algorithm
so complex it'd make Google jealous. 

The NFL quarterback rating would be easier to figure out.

And even so, in the real world there are guys who are virgins by
choice who are absolute masters at attracting women and making
them go wild for them. 

These guys could "outpull" 95% of the professional pickup artists
out there.  That's a fact.

Plus, what about the guys out there who married their high school
sweethearts and have had a healthy (and monogamous) relationship
with them since? 

I'd love to hear a counter-argument to the simple assumption that a
guy like that is probably good with women.

What, you have no "game" unless you take years and years to play
the field figuring out what you want in a woman before finding her?

And then, if you don't proceed to cheat on her enough to produce a
"respectable" number, you're some sort of chump?  That's messed
up.

Ironically, I challenge you to try getting a "body count" out of any
married man who knows what "respect" really means to begin with.
 
Gentlemen, obviously I'm having way too much fun writing this.

Enough, already...here's the bottom line. 

There's much, much more to being good with women than "getting the
lay" and how many times you've done so.  

In fact, how many women you've been with really has nothing to do
with it.  By now you can figure that out. 

I saw another blog several years ago where a well-known PUA was
engaging his readers in serious debate over whether a woman he
partially penetrated (for lack of a more sporting description) for
a split second before she grabbed her clothes and ran out the door
counted as a "lay".

She counts as a female human being.  And he didn't succeed with
her.  That's all that matters, period.

If you want to measure success with women, take a look at a man's
ability to ignite femininity on demand.  Consider how many options
he has, and therefore how much control he has over his dating life.

If he's chosen to be in an exclusive relationship, consider how
much his wife or girlfriend loves, adores, respects and honors him. 

Why not measure a man's success with women by how happy he is
with his relationships with them?

Or...how about this for a novel idea? 

Decide for yourself what it means to succeed with women, set your
own goals and don't let me or anyone else impose their standards of
measure on you.


 
 




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