[X&Y] Part Two: Bad Dating Advice From Miserable People
Published: Tue, 04/05/22
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WHAT'S INSIDE: Here are the second five items on my top ten
list of bad dating advice given by miserable people.
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TOP 10 WAYS MISERABLE PEOPLE GIVE BAD DATING
ADVICE (PART TWO)
Yesterday I gave you the first five of my top ten bits of dating
advice that people who are frustrated with their own love lives
tend to try to give others...usually with disastrous results, of
course.
If you missed that, dig around in your inbox for that e-mail from
me. It should have arrived around 5:00 pm Eastern Time.
Anyway, here's the second half of the list. Hang on...some of these
are real "barnburners".
6) "You'll never get her to go out with you. She is out of your
league."
This is probably spoken by some guy who secretly longs for that very
woman you've got your eye on, yet is too much of an utter coward to
even approach her.
This guy actually hopes you are rejected if and when you ask for
the date, but has just enough fear that you WON'T be rejected that
it requires his direct intervention in hopes of not having to ever
face that reality.
Think about it... How ironic it is that so many of us assume we'll
be "rejected" by a woman we want, yet simultaneously fear that the
very next guy who approaches her won't be.
7) "Everyone who is a member of those online dating sites is a
freak! I wouldn't dare risk it if I were you."
Whatever. I've been online, and I'm no freak, thank you.
These people have either not even tried it (like most who "hate"
sushi), don't have the guts to, or bungled their own experience
online...yet pass the blame on to those they wrote to.
Or worse, they waited around for everyone else to write them first.
Everyone has to meet somewhere and online is a great place,
especially for busy professionals with full lives.
8) "Keep all your options open because she is just going to break
your heart eventually."
This all boils down to whether you are a person who a potential
partner can commit to or not. Do you deserve what you want?
This ball is in your court, as discussed around here before. It's
as simple as that.
If you are all but giving up on a committed relationship before
even trying, guess what: you aren't going to get the relationship
you want. Work on that.
9) "Love fades away. Make sure you get someone who takes
care of you."
Ah yes, "Kissing don't last but cooking do."
Forget about it. If the kissing's gone, the rest is but a shell
anyway. Having the love of your lifetime around should mean that
the two of you are more than roommates.
Don't be shallow. Here's a dime, go buy some depth...
10) "Everyone makes mistakes. You have to let that [major]
one she made go."
This one follows closely behind staying in a relationship simply
because it beats being alone.
Whether you're a man OR a woman, if you are violated, put in
imminent danger, manipulated to do that which you do not want to
do, physically or emotionally assaulted, subject to destructive
addictions and/or cheated on...get out.
Do yourself that favor. Once you accept preposterous presumptions
upon your relationship that demonstrate your partner has zero
respect for you, you have only opened the door for that to happen
again and again.
Every time you stick around when something unthinkable is done to
you, the more you have effectively given your supposed "partner"
permission to stick it to you some more. Don't do that.
There are others I could have included, but this list should serve
to help you think of those on your own.
One final note of caution on the dating advice front. At times
there can also be advice from truly well meaning people who happen
to have such vastly different experiences from ours that the
validity of their advice becomes questionable.
For example, a couple who married at age 16 and have been happily
hitched for 55 years can have a lot to offer us. Be careful,
however, when it comes to their musings about finding a new partner
at age 40 after a divorce. See what I'm saying?
Be Good,
Scot McKay
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