[X&Y] Why She Never Texts You First (And What To Do About It)
Published: Sat, 04/16/22
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WHAT'S INSIDE: You're out with a woman and she seems to like
you...but it's always YOU who is sending the first text.
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HER MIND LIGHTS UP LIKE A FIREWORKS DISPLAY WHEN
YOU TEXT HER
Did you know that when a woman gets a text message it stimulates
the same neurons in her brain as fast food, cigarettes and even
drugs?
You know...all of those addictive vices.
It's weird, I know. But think of it this way: If you can master how to
text women, you'll be thrilling her in a way that's actually good for her.
And thanks to this, it's way easier than you think:
What To Text Her
Most guys mess this up royally...all because they have no idea
what they're doing.
From now on you'll get the girl, while the other guy only gets
"crickets" and silence:
The Easy Way To Master Text Messaging
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READER QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS
Hey Scot,
I don't know if you have time to reply but I have a question.
I recently meet a woman and we have gone out three times, I really
like her and honestly I don't remember the last time I had such a
great connection with someone.
My concern is that it seems to be a little one sided. I really do
think she likes me because when we are together she is very
affectionate towards me, but it seems like when we are not together
I am the only one trying to make contact.
I may call her or send her a "good morning" text or a "how was your
day" text. I have only received one text like that from her, and we
have been talking for over three weeks.
Am I reading too much into it?
Also, is three really great dates enough time to suggest that we
try to make it a little more serious? Or should I just let things
progress naturally? Thanks.
Andrew (Denver, CO)
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Hello Andrew:
Not to worry. Most women are taught to let the man take the lead
when it comes to initiating interaction.
If it really eats at you, go ahead and acknowledge it to her just
to see how she reacts. For example, "I've noticed you're very
traditional...preferring the man take the lead when it comes to
phone calls and things like that."
Note that you aren't complaining, challenging or worrying. You're
simply stating a fact.
Note especially that you're confidently calling out the "elephant
in the room", rather than "running away" from the issue.
If she flat-out hasn't realized that you're doing all the calling
and texting, it may be because that's simply her "unconscious"
habit when relating to men.
And if so, that's not unusual for women who have been raised
around "traditional" thinking from a young age.
Be careful if that's the situation, though. She may launch into a
stream of "I'm sorrys" if she senses you may be displeased. This
tends to be an all but de facto practice among women, doesn't it?
Although saying "I'm sorry" a lot can be a sign of low self-esteem
if it occurs often enough, she may genuinely feel in this scenario
that she's let you down.
On the other hand, she may openly acknowledge that she's indeed
been intentional about waiting for you to contact her first.
She may also be prompted at that point to ask you if you either
like it that way or have a problem with it. But at least you'll
have reassurance that she's not losing interest in you.
Either way she responds, it's important at that point to take the
lead (as she wants you to anyway) and reassure her that you find
her old-fashioned outlook refreshing and that you like it.
But if you get nothing more than "I don't know", or some sort of
hesitation--it's time to watch carefully.
Is she just being shy or is she hemming and hawing over the fact
that she really isn't as sold on you as you think? Watch the
rest of her interaction with you carefully and connect the dots.
But in all likelihood, if your gut feeling is that she's indeed
attracted to you, she's probably just "old school". You'll be fine.
As for how slow or fast you want to take things from there, you're
the man. You lead. Your reality is manufactured by you.
The good news is she'll almost certainly like that about you also.
If you are a man who has options and you think this woman is
particularly terrific vis-à-vis others you've considered, then
you'll have plenty of clarity when it comes to making her your
steady girlfriend or not.
But feel free to take your time and enjoy all the steps on the path
to getting to know each other well enough for that.
Remember always: It's when we're desperate to hold on to any
woman who likes us and can fog a mirror that we're in trouble.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
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