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IN THIS EDITION:  Here's more on how to be the man of character
you'd most like to be.

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THE SHOCKING TRUTH ABOUT "NEVER, EVER GIVING UP"


As promised, today I have another dangerous mistake men make when
trying their darnedest to be a man of character.

Let me spell it out for you up front:  They abandon self-respect in
the name of allegedly demonstrating "character".

It's an intriguing notion, isn't it?

Winston Churchill famously said the following to a room full of
school kids:


  "Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, give up. Never give
  up. Never give up. Never give up."


You may have seen the quote shortened a bit to simply say, "Never,
ever give up."

And indeed, to most men those sound like the most gallant words
ever spoken in human history.  And surely, being tenacious
vis-à-vis some adversarial force working against you would appear
to be the very definition of having one's core character tested.

But here's the thing, you see.  What Churchill also said in
qualifying that statement is far less famous, but every bit
as important:


  "Never give in...except to convictions of honor and good sense."


A-ha.  Even as that last phrase is often overlooked, it's actually
the linchpin that holds the entire overarching premise together.

You see, it's not only unwise to "never, ever give up" without
regard to the circumstances, it's actually dangerous.

If you are driving into a desolate desert without any gas stations
for 100 miles but you suddenly realize shortly after leaving that
you might not have enough fuel to make it to the next city, you'd
better not press on.  You'd better turn around and fill up while
you can.

That's what Churchill meant by "good sense".

Similarly, if you get involved in a business venture only to find
out that the enterprise is up to no good in a way you weren't
completely informed about at first, "convictions of honor" should
enable you to pull the plug on your involvement with a clean
conscience.

But the problem is that most of us have only ever heard "Never,
ever give up" and that's what we've taken to heart.

So then, in the name of "character" and "doing what we said we
would" we indeed DON'T ever, ever give up...even when we really
should.

We stay in a dead-end job even after we know deep down there's
a better life mission for us.

We stick with a crazy, damaged or even abusive girlfriend in the
name of "optimism" (which we believe to be a universal hallmark of
character).

But ultimately, when we hang in there even as it's readily
apparent to everyone around us (if not ourselves) that we're
hurtling towards total destruction, we're simply being stubborn.

Is "stubbornness" a building block of solid character?  I think we
can all agree it's not.

But by its very definition, stubbornness IS indeed the act of
"never, ever giving up" in the absence of "convictions of honor and
good sense".

See the trick we as men play on ourselves?  Even as we "mean well",
we end up damaging our confidence, our future, our ability to
attract a high quality woman and yes...even our own health and/or the
safety of those around us.

Weirdly, some guys will stand and watch everything swirl down the
toilet and continue to press on anyway, even as they feel horrible
about themselves--all in the name of "never, ever giving up".

To blindly "never, ever give up" is to potentially check one's very
self-respect at the door in the process.

But in reality, you're only a quitter if you give up when all
"convictions" and "good sense" indicate that you really should
press onward.

Checking ourselves to make sure we're exercising "convictions of
honor and good sense" is what helps up retain our self-respect,
even as we demonstrate good character.  See how that works?

In cases where it make no sense to carry on, or when it challenges
your very moral fiber, then retaining your own self-respect is what
a man of character should do.

Self-respect is TRUE character in those situations, even if those
factors seemingly conspire to cloud the main issue...which is ALWAYS
to do the right thing.


Be Good,

Scot McKay




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