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IN THIS EDITION:  You've met a great woman, but she's sort of
jealous...and pushy.  Now what?

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  * Get out of the "Just Be Friends Zone"


  * Jump start things with a girl who is "slipping away" (without
  coming across as desperate or needy)


  * Get a girl you just met fighting for your attention and trying
  to win you over


Well, now you can:



3 Magic Text Messages



Knowing about these texts is like having three golden keys that can
unlock any woman's wild attraction sensors at will.

You don't ever have to stare at your smart phone struggling with
"writer's block" ever again.

Take it from one of the smartest guys in the world of dating and
seduction advice...he's right on the money here:



3 Magic Text Messages



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LETTER FROM A READER:  WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR
JEALOUS GIRLFRIEND PILES ON THE PRESSURE


Hi Scot,

I'm a long-term reader and huge fan of your dating content. Thanks
for sharing your knowledge and creating incredible products.  I
greatly enjoyed The Difference.

I'm writing because I am concerned about taking a relationship to a
serious level. Kathy is 30, a successful lawyer, and comfortably
living in Chicago.

I am 26, just finished graduate school, and looking for a job and
opportunities to travel. Her and I have been dating for three
months. Neither one of us have been in real serious relationships
before, only short term relationships.

Kathy fits my profile of what I've been looking for in a woman.
She is intelligent, energetic, beautiful, sexual, and assertive.

I feel completely comfortable around her.

Things have been going so well, but the relationship has moved
incredibly quickly. She has her own condo. I'll spend several days
a week there.

We love each other's friends. She has met my family on multiple
occasions, I just got home today from Michigan where I met her
extended family. It's only been three months.

On the ride home, we explored issues like marriage and family. And
I'm worried about how to meet these life issues.



1)  Marriage - Kathy has made it clear that I'm the only one she
wants to be with. She has declared she will never date men again if
I cheated or left her.


2)  Timeline - I think people should date at least a year before
marrying. She says that's just an arbitrary number. I'm incredibly
happy with Kathy, but am not sure I am ready to get married at 26
or even when I'm 27. I think there is long-term potential but also
feel a lot of pressure from her to move in this direction.  She's
made it clear not to waste her time if I wasn't ready for a serious
relationship.


3)  Children - I'm open to having children, but am hoping to wait
until my mid-thirties, when I have a career and am more settled.
She is looking to have children in the next 3-4 years.


4)  Female Friends - Scot, this is an issue I haven't read from you
about. But I meet a lot of friends (volunteering, trivia nights)
and have a "big-tent" mentality of having a lot of friends in my
life. Kathy gets jealous if I go out and there are women there that
she doesn't know about at the party.



She always seems suspicious of how I talk about my friends who
are women.  Her feeling is that as our relationship strengthens,
we don't need extra people in our lives. She says that's what
single people do.

Maybe she's right and I'm just inexperienced, but I wanted your
opinion. I really enjoy having friends who are women in my life,
and want to meet more, even if I'm in a committed relationship.

Kathy gives me comfort and a friend that I didn't know I could
have. I'm a much happier person, and a better man because of her. 

I feel like I'm at a huge crossroads. On one hand I have the
opportunity to spend my life with an amazing woman who gets me.

On the other hand things might be better if I casually date and
retain my independence until I'm ready for a more serious
relationship with marriage and kids.

Maybe I will be ready by the time these "events" happen.  If our
ages were reversed, none of this would be a problem--we could date
longer, we could put the child-rearing question off for a while.

Maybe it's too early to be concerned with these things. What's your
advice Scot?


Craig (Illinois)


[Ed. Note:  Craig also gave me the URL for his Facebook profile,
featuring pics of himself with Kathy and others.]



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Hello Craig:


This is all way too complex to cover in a simple quick e-mail, so
you may want to consider some phone time with me.  Better yet, I'm
wondering if you could coax your girlfriend into some time with
Emily?

You see, my gut feeling is that for your part you're probably
publicly showcasing your female friends a bit much. 

I hesitate to use the word "flaunting", but having taken a quick
look at your Facebook profile some of your pics and wall comments
would tip the scales in that direction.
 
Were you to back off from that to a degree more in line with
someone in an exclusive relationship, that might help matters.

I'd delete the pics of you physically hugging and kissing other
women.

Definitely also edit yourself from posting comments to other
women about how much you enjoy seeing them and spending
time with them. 

In short, don't give your girlfriend any valid reason to feel
disrespected.

BUT...the biggest issues here really do appear to be hers. 

Realistically speaking, although she indeed has a point about your
female friends, she asserts it with more than a hint of overzealous
desperation. 

For example, I'd never go so far as to say "we don't need extra
people in our lives".  That's taking it too far.

And as you might guess, I really can't advise you much on her
behalf. 
 
Nevertheless, the trouble is that she's chasing you away. 

She's clearly behaving as if she wants/needs this relationship more
than you do, and that means you're going to lose interest in her fast
...and possibly even all attraction you've ever felt toward her.
 
Now granted, that might ultimately be like dodging a bullet, but let's
talk about what's going on here and now.
 
It's suspect enough that she would be pressuring you into marriage
after all of three months.
 
And as we've already established, yes...she's going somewhat
overboard in her reactions to your female friends.
 
In reality, though, the truly GIANT red flags here are twofold:
 
 
 
1)  She's manipulating your good intentions for her by loading you
up with nonsense about how she "will never date men again if [you]
cheated or left her". 

In other words, if you don't give her what she wants, the guaranteed
doom that would consume her life as a result would all be your fault. 

That's one to put to the TGR-R test, for sure. 

It doesn't look like she cares all that much about what you want,
and that's a recipe for disaster. 
 
 

2)  Nobody who has experienced only short-term relationships (and
none of them "serious") is in any position to argue against taking
your sweet time deciding whether a long-term, committed relationship
is in order between the two of you. 

And that goes DOUBLE for someone 30 years old. 

Again, she's rushing you into something that you haven't necessarily
expressed interest in.  That only points to selfishness and impatience
on her part...let alone inexperience and immaturity.
 
 
 
Note that I haven't harped much on the four-year age difference.  I
really don't believe it's as big a factor in the grand scheme as you
think it is, at least objectively speaking. 
 
Sure, if the age difference were reversed you might be more ready
for marriage and she might pressure you less to do so...but who
really knows?

Besides, what matters is reality rather than conjecture...and you two
are worlds apart in terms of what you feel you're looking for in a
relationship right now. 

It sounds to me like you've got some "bucket list" items you're
itching to cross off that decidedly don't involve a "significant
other" and/or family responsibilities.

Further, I'm not sure your idea of what an exclusive relationship
should look like really meshes with hers.
 
I've long been on record as saying that it's only time to consider
marriage when three distinct checkboxes are ticked: 
 
 
 
1)  You're sick of dating, "playing the field", or whatever you want
to call it. 
 
 
2)  You've met a woman who scores a "100" on The Depth Chart
of what you want in a woman (top 10 items at 10/10 points each) AND...
(wait for it...)
 
 
3)  ...you feel "ready" to build a shared lifestyle and history with
someone else, under the same roof and with a common understanding
of what the boundaries are.
 
 
 
When it's only #1, you take a break without pressuring yourself in
any way.  It's as simple as that.
 
If #2 hasn't occurred yet, whoever you'd consider "settling down"
with you'd surely also be settling for.
 
But assuming you have the first two covered, then it's time to ask
yourself if you're willing to consider a woman's needs along with
your own in order to gain all the benefits of long-term
companionship.
 
A "yes" or "no" answer is okay...as long as it's the truth.
 
Should that answer be "yes", then--and only then--are you ready to
think about an exclusive relationship that possibly leads to
marriage. 

And yes...I really do think that the more time you spend together
testing and approving your compatibility before walking down the
aisle together, the better.
 
You've got to deserve what you want, and that goes for both of you.