[X&Y] He Freaking Left The Door Open

Published: Sun, 05/22/22



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HE FREAKING LEFT THE DOOR OPEN


When I worked in the IT world years ago, the head of another
workgroup got promoted, leaving a void in that leadership
position.

Sure enough, the company announced it was promoting from
within the workgroup.

One fateful day, around closing time, the vice-president called
one of the workgroup members into his office.

"Sit down", the VP said.

The employee dutifully did so, I presume.

"Well", the VP continued, "we appreciate your 30 years of
service to the company, but we've decided to go a different
direction as far as who your new boss will be."

There were a few seconds of what seemed silence.

"Do you have any questions?"

"No", the seasoned veteran employee responded, coldly.

"Okay then, that'll be all for now."

That's when the fifty-something employee said what to
this day hits me like a gut punch...and I wasn't even the
in the conversation.

"Thank you", he muttered softly.

He thanked the vice-president.

For what, his time?

It couldn't have been for passing him over for the
promotion...could it have been?

Then came the uppercut.  Why was I even privy to this
painfully private conversation to begin with?

The simple answer?  The VP had left the door open to
his office the whole time.

Since we all worked for a Fortune 50 company with a
Fortune 10 customer, there were over 100 employees
in our office.

We ALL heard it.

At that time in history, the man who had just thanked
the VP for helping perpetuate his cycle of mediocrity
and I were on the same rung of the corporate ladder.

Except I was at least twenty years his junior, and had
been with the company less than a year.

Here's what I know for sure, having been out to lunch
and in meetings with my older peer dozens of times.

He was a passive man, not an assertive one.

He was also a "nice" enough guy not to challenge
the VP, and instead offer gratitude in exchange for
utter disrespect.

That's right.  Passivity foments disrespect.

Right now, as I write this, my thoughts turn to what
he must have told his wife when he got home
that evening.

I mean, what WOULD he say? His new boss was
probably in second or third grade when he started
with the company.

Come to think of it, I'm not even sure the guy wasn't
single.  He never talked about it.

All I knew then is all I know now:  Don't be THAT guy.

Never, ever, ever.

Maybe you haven't thanked a boss for disrespecting
you.

Perhaps you've never rehearsed an explanation for
yet another example of self-imposed mediocrity to
a significant other.

But most of us--including myself--are intentionally
on the path to being MORE assertive, and thereby
earning MORE respect.

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Tickets are limited, of course, and they're starting to run
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