[X&Y] Letter From A Woman (Has This Gone TOO FAR?)

Published: Mon, 09/19/22

 
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WHAT'S INSIDE:  There's a major difference between the letters
I get from guys and the ones Emily gets from women.

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LETTER FROM A WOMAN:  HAS THIS GONE TOO FAR?


Here is an e-mail Emily received from one of her readers.

Take a look...



  Hello Emily,

  Here is my question.

  How do I show a man I've been dating for six months by my
  actions that I will not tolerate sub-par treatment from him?

  He is going through tough times with money and personal
  survival and our dates are more rare now. Until last month
  we were seeing each other one or two times during the week
  and we spent every weekend together.

  He only calls me to make plans for our dates and I hardly
  ever hear from him in between.

  We have an agreement that our relationship is exclusive.

  I've been arguing that his problems are just an excuse and
  that when there is a will there is a way to meet up more
  often.


  Sincerely,

  NAME WITHHELD



And now, here is MY question to YOU.

Did you find yourself empathizing with the woman and
wondering why the guy in her life doesn't "straighten up
and fly right?"

OR...do you think it's more likely that the guy is losing
attraction for her and just doesn't know how to tell her
without provoking a very strong emotional response?

Think about this very carefully, and be honest.

You see, to me it's almost obvious that the latter is the
case. 

But the more I see out there in this big world of ours,
the more I believe that not everyone (be they a man OR a
woman) sees the forest for the trees in cases like these.

I mean, let's just put it this way.  Almost every e-mail
Emily gets is from a woman who is basically asking, "How
do I get the guy in my life to stop messing up?"

Compare that to almost every e-mail I get from men, which
tend to ask some iteration of, "How do I stop messing up?"

What I'm showing you here is a powerful live demonstration
of just how far things have gone in today's "man bashing"
culture.

Apparently, all the commercials where we as men are
invariably portrayed as incompetent, insensitive screw-ups
have successfully brainwashed most of us...and that includes
women.

At least, that's what one would think.

Meanwhile, women are told to think of themselves as
"goddesses" who are infallible as they are, and who should
"never, ever change to suit 'some man'".

I've even seen more online dating advice than not actually
recommend that women lie about their age on their online
dating profiles...even as they warn about "lying, cheating
jerks". 

So basically, it's no wonder you have women arguing that a
man's real-world challenges are just an "excuse" for him not
to give her what she wants...and now.

And since there's an "agreement" to be upheld here, she
shouldn't "tolerate sub-par treatment from him".

There isn't ANY apparent consideration of what SHE might
contribute to the relationship in order to make it great.

And, of course, the simple idea that he may have grown sick
and tired of her and really just wants out of the whole
mess doesn't enter into it either.

Why am I telling you all of this? 

The answer is very simple:  It's time to wake up and realize
that if you are a high-quality man who has a woman's best
interests at heart, then you (yes YOU) deserve a woman who
is willing to offer her feminine gifts to the relationship even
as you gladly offer your masculine ones.

And if you EVER find yourself in a relationship with a woman
who sees "give and take" as a one-way street, man up and
sever the relationship.

You will not be a "bad guy" if you refuse to abide by a double
standard.

Meanwhile, I promise there ARE women out there who
still believe in the idea of true relationship, although the
evidence is pretty strong that you may have to hurry up
and find one soon.

If you think I'm either kidding and/or overreacting here, I
invite you to read THIS e-mail message also, which Emily
received just this week from another woman:



  Hi Emily,

  Do you feel that either gender is better than the other?

  I mean, I know of people who teach dating advice (friends).
  Actually...not really advice, but what they think about boy/
  girl relationships. 

  They feel that women are always better than men. 

  To me, I feel all of us have equal values and status. Just
  for personal interest I have been asking around, so I thought
  I would ask someone other than friends.


  NAME WITHHELD



Yes, that's for real.  All I did was fix typos...that's it.

What you see is what Emily got.

Just for the sake of clarification, this is NOT a woman who
is struggling with self-worth or self-esteem.

Heck, this isn't even a woman who, on the other hand, thinks
men are "worthless".

This is a woman who simply believes men and women are both
equally valuable as human beings, and now is asking if it is
actually okay for her to believe that, vis-a-vis the "advice" she
has been getting.

To BOTH of the women who wrote in, I would underscore that
the man AND the woman in a relationship absolutely ARE
equally worthy of respect, of course.

In fact, show me a happy couple and I'll show you a couple
who not only believes that, but also believes in giving to
each other more than taking.

It's like I've always said.

If you want to be in control of your dating life, start thinking
about doing what it takes to represent to MOTOS (members of
the other sex) what THEY want in a partner.

From there, they tend to give you what you want in return (i.e.
attention, approval, love and yes...sex) without you really
having to push too hard.

Deserve what you want.


 
 



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