[X&Y] More On Why Looks Don't Matter As Much To Women

Published: Sat, 11/19/22

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IN THIS EDITION: Apparently some guys still believe
they're not getting anywhere with women because
they're not good looking enough. Let's handle that
once and for all.

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YES, IT'S FOR REAL

You've probably listened to a podcast or read a
newsletter or two where I mention how your first
25 minutes on the phone (or Zoom) with me is
on the house.

That's the real deal, and my calendar is open to
you:

Let's Talk

For sure, if I can make a recommendation on
a book or a program, I will...even if it's someone
else's.

But the call itself is guaranteed to give you at
least one takeaway you can use to change your
fortunes with women NOW.

It's good for me to talk to you, as it keeps me on
my toes and helps ensure I'm focused on the
right areas for you.

So by all means, let's talk.

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MORE ON WHY LOOKS DON'T MATTER AS
MUCH TO WOMEN

I got my fair share of emails after the newsletter I sent out
earlier this week titled, "Do Looks Matter?"

"OK then, how come women go nuts over all those
prettyboy actors? And why do they openly talk about
how physically attractive guys are when they're hanging
out together? And what about primal stuff...and fireman
calendars?

I'm not going to lie to you. If a guy looks good to a woman,
she'll notice.

But remember, women are wired differently than we are.

We tend to see a woman's physical beauty first. And usually, if
it's not there for any particular woman in our estimation she has
little chance with us.

But with women, if you watch closely they'll often notice guys
from afar who you wouldn't necessarily expect them to.

Meanwhile, when it comes to the guy YOU may have

assumed was your biggest competitor in a particular social

setting, women just roll their eyes.

Why is this?

Well, for starters, your idea of what a woman wants is probably
different than hers. (Go figure...)

No matter what you're thinking, she's thinking more in terms
of what IGNITES her femininity...and that's not how you're
wired to process information.

There's a MASSIVE difference there, starting with how raw
physical appearance factors in.

Consider, for example, what I call "The Clark Kent Factor".

You know the deal with Superman. His public persona is that of
"mild mannered" Clark Kent...the tentative, somewhat scattered
"Mr. Nice Guy" who Lois Lane, of course, sees as "just a friend".

He's unsure of himself. He is usually dependent on others for
guidance and leadership. He doesn't really have a plan. And he
speaks in a hushed tone, with a higher pitch than seems
appropriate.

Meanwhile, Superman has no such issues. Lois is overwhelmed
with animal attraction when HE'S around.

And here's the kicker: It's the same guy, right? Therefore, both
Clark Kent and his alter ego Superman have the same level of

natural gifts in the looks department.

You could even argue that Superman might even have a
disadvantage there given that Clark Kent sports a smart business
suit whereas Superman has the added liability of wearing blue
and red spandex.

Whatever.

It's who Superman is that makes him physically attractive to Lois

Lane.

"Yes Scot, but that's fictional", you may be saying to yourself.

Granted. But the example is rooted in real-world truth.

Emily and I had the opportunity to visit South Korea years ago.

While in Seoul, we booked a visit to the infamous DMZ, which has
always fascinated me.

Since the DMZ is the "no man's land" between North and South
Korea, who are still technically at war with each other, the tour
was actually guided by a U.S. Army MP.

Since I love my job, I tend to find it difficult to leave "work" at
home even when traveling the world.

I watched as the MP confidently boarded the bus, flashed a
friendly but decisively competent smile, and proceeded to tell us
quite directly what we could expect from the morning and what
the "ground rules" were.

"I'm going to make sure you see everything that's important, but
please remember not to wave or gesture to any North Koreans
along the way. If you do, I'm going to have to remove you from
the tour, send you back to the bus and deal with the situation
after we get back here to the base. And believe me, I'd much
rather you enjoy the tour as much as everyone else instead."

He was reasonable and direct, without being a douchebag
about it. He had done this tour hundreds of times and it
showed.

Suffice it to say we paid attention. And as expected, nobody

created an international incident. Nice.

BUT...the guy was approachable enough that everyone chimed
in with questions, which he cheerfully and competently
answered.

He respected everyone on the tour, and fully expected to BE
respected in return. It was a non issue for him, and therefore
it was likewise a non issue for all of us.

Sooner than later it occurred to me that this guy's appearance
was very average in just about every respect.

He was of average height and build. And while his face wouldn't
scare small children, he wasn't going to be gracing the cover
of GQ anytime soon.

This was no "prettyboy" magazine model.

But he was clearly a "big four" man.

One of the great benefits I enjoy while traveling, obviously, is
Emily's company.

Sharing world travels and the life-long memories that go along
with them is one of many, many reasons why being in a great
long-term relationship beats the tar out of one-night stands.

As such, since she was sitting next to me on the bus I asked
her, "So, do you think this guy has any trouble getting a date?"

"Oh, goodness no!", was her immediate response.

Indeed.

To say he was confident would be an understatement. Yet, his
clear sense of sober judgment about himself (as opposed to
arrogance) combined with a clear ability to put us at ease was
nothing short of amazing.

We were visiting what is unquestionably one of the most
politically tense areas on Earth, yet everyone was laid back
about it.

And as far as character goes, there was just something about
how he carried himself that openly demonstrated that passing
the necessary background checks to be in the position he was
in must have been no problem.

I turned to Emily again and said, "OK, now imagine the same
guy in another setting. More tentative, not quite as confident.
Maybe more of an approval-seeking 'Mr. Nice Guy'. There
would be a big difference in how attractive he is to women,
huh?"

"Is that a trick question?" Emily replied...with a laugh.

No kidding. Were this guy to have been lacking in the "big four"
department, he'd be "Mr. Normal".

He wouldn't be leading tours to the border between North
and South Korea, that's for sure. And he wouldn't be the kind
of man women notice.

But the fact remained. Perhaps ironically, even while wearing
camouflage this guy stood out from the crowd.

So what's the takeaway?

Simply this: Even if you are average (or even below average)
in the "natural looks" department, it's going to be the "big four"
that truly decide whether women notice you or not.

Sure, take care of yourself. Brush your teeth and don't dress like
a slob.

But remember "The Clark Kent Factor" always, and continue to
fine-tune the "big four" in your life until you become your own
version of Superman in your own natural habitat, which is
presumably somewhere outside the DMZ.

And by all means do so without the tights, please.

Be Good,

Scot McKay

P.S. Hey, since we launched Wing-It Worldwide, we've published
a video on YouTube of the DMZ tour experience described above,
Naturally, it features the very guy I talked about:

Video: The DMZ From The South Korean Side

Here's a video of the tour from the NORTH Korean side,
too, which we did several years later (for real). Do you think
their guide is as attractive to North Korean women?

DMZ On The DPRK Side

By the way, guess which video has had more views?

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