[X&Y] Yes, I Was Terrified Of Girls In High School Too (Here's What Happened)
Published: Mon, 10/24/22
IN THIS EDITION: Yes, I messed up with girls
in high school, too. But here's what I discovered
(and what I did as a result).
=====
"I'LL ALMOST ALWAYS LOSE SLEEP OR SKIP
DINNER FOR SEX. PRIORITIES."
A woman told me that. Why would she say such
a thing?
Well, we had been out a few times and clearly
liked each other, so she trusted me with such
privileged information.
But the more obvious reason was SHE MEANT
IT. She was simply telling it like it is.
Since the theme here is speaking the truth,
here’s another fact: that was a TYPICAL girl
talking.
If you think about it, sex is the most primal
biological human force.
You may have been taught along the way that
sex is bad, that wanting it indicates we see
relationships with women as purely transactional,
or even that showing sexual interest in a woman
is some sort of crime we should be punished for.
For sure, I’ve certainly talked about how being
sex focused” as opposed to having a more
holistic approach to attracting women is wrong-
headed.
But ultimately, if we never have sex with her,
it’s NOT a sexual relationship.
If you’re saying, “Well, no kidding” to that last
sentence, consider how many times people try
to rationalize otherwise.
For whatever reason, TOO MANY men
aren't having the sexual relationships with
women they'd LIKE to be having.
But meanwhile, it’s really not supposed to
be this complicated.
From the standpoint of survival of the species,
sexual success is THE human goal.
All of us are here as the result of it, and you’re
designed to carry on the pattern.
Basically, YOU ARE SEX.
Yes, you have every right to be in on it
as every one of your direct male ancestors
did.
So there’s nothing to be ashamed of.
What’s more, it’s not at all necessary to treat
sex with a woman as something unlikely and/or
improbable.
After all, it’s a partner alliance, not a military
conquest. Here’s a hint…women don’t EVER
think about this stuff in competitive or
adversarial terms AT ALL.
It’s about WILLING women, not “building
compliance”.
This month’s Masterclass For Men is called
From Platonic To Sexual, and there are only
48 hours left to secure your ticket:
THIS ISN’T ABOUT NOTCHING YOUR
BEDPOST. IT’S ABOUT BEING HUMAN.
My guarantee is you will have never experienced
a more powerful, purely effective blueprint
for moving relationships with women to the
sexual level.
Best of all, both you AND the women you attract
will feel GREAT about it.
MASTERCLASS FOR MEN: FROM PLATONIC
TO SEXUAL
Wednesday, 26 Oct. @8p EDT (GMT -4)
I'll see you at the Masterclass on Wednesday.
=====
YES, I WAS TERRIFIED OF GIRLS IN HIGH
SCHOOL TOO
Back when I was in high school, I generally
assumed (like most guys my age, it turns out)
that most of the girls couldn't possibly like
me.
Then one day, this incredibly cute blondie
named Cathy walked up to me at soccer
practice.
I had seen her in the hallways...and in my
dreams at night. And now here she was,
coming out of nowhere to talk to ME.
The fact that she was dressed in her field
hockey outfit made matters all the more
intense.
For those of you not blessed to have gone
to a school with field hockey or lacrosse
teams for the girls, let's just say outfitting
the right girl with a ponytail and a kilt in
combination with Adidas cleats beats a
cheerleader uniform almost every time.
Nowadays, female lacrosse and field hockey
players pretty much dress like the boys.
Bummer for you younger guys.
But anyway, Cathy was one of the cutest
girls my 17-year-old mind had ever
comprehended. And to this day, she probably
still doesn't know that.
Why not?
Well, as it turns out, Cathy didn't come to
talk to me about herself.
And in retrospect, how crazy of an expectation
would that have been of a 16-year-old girl
anyway?
Instead, she looked at me with her big green
eyes and pouty little smile and said, "Um...
excuse me, can I talk to you for a minute,
Scot?"
Her sweet, feminine voice was like an angel
speaking.
Without hesitation I responded, "Better hurry...
your sixty seconds are ticking away" or, "Only
if you bought me something really nice."
Nah, I'm just kidding.
Actually, it was more like, "Duh...ummm...ah...
[voice cracking and barely audible] yeah...I
mean, um...sure, YEAH."
Cathy smiled brightly, eyes shining.
She turned and gestured toward the field
hockey practice field about a hundred yards
away, as if such an ever-present distraction
needed pointing out.
"Oh good! Do you know who my friend
Christa is?"
Scrambling, I feigned ignorance (the default
mode of a guy with zero confidence with girls,
by the way), and stumbled over the words,
"Uhhh...I'm not sure. Maybe not."
I lied.
Christa was Cathy's friend. Basically the
brown-haired version of her, only with big,
bright blue eyes instead of green ones and
an even more irresistibly spunky personality.
Had I been more creative than most 17-year-
old boys back in 1983, I may have dreamed
of both Cathy and Christa at night.
Instead, no thanks to my conventional
Western mindset, they had to take turns.
"Well, she kinda likes you. Omigod, she'd like,
KILL me if she knew I was telling you this, but
I think you should talk to her. Maybe ask her
out, 'K?. Oh wow, gotta go before I get in
trouble...bye!"
She gave me that little wave with the middle
two fingers that girls her age do, then skipped
back over to field hockey practice.
The fog of what had just happened didn't lift
for a while, so I never realized how impossible
it was that Christa didn't know her best friend
was 100 yards away talking to me.
Therefore, it also never occurred to me that
she must have sent Cathy to begin with.
So what did I do instead?
I waited a full two weeks before getting the
nerve to approach Christa, somehow
rationalizing and over-analyzing the open
invitation I'd been given.
Two honkin' weeks, man.
But when I did finally meet her, and suggested
we hang out sometime, she giggled and said,
"Okay, sure! I was wondering when you were
ever going to talk to me...I thought maybe you
didn't like me."
I'm telling you...even from an early age, female
human beings want us as guys to take the lead.
So Christa became my steady girlfriend almost
immediately.
Having somehow "lucked" into my situation, so
I reasoned, I wasn't about to let that little chick
go.
Soon I obsessed over her, ultimately to the point
where she called me one night after about five
months of all this and told me, "Um...I think we
should break up. But we can still be friends."
We've been over the "Just Be Friends" talk and
what causes it time after time around there.
There's no need to reiterate that.
Instead, here's the real point in this context: I
had automatically assumed that only pure luck
had caused Christa to like me.
Since I couldn't pinpoint any apparent legitimate
reason why a girl would be attracted to me, it
followed logically in my mind that this was a weird
isolated instance that I'd better milk for all it was
worth.
So when she liked me, I grabbed hold and
wouldn't let go.
And when she ditched me, I was a babbling
mess in need of psychiatric help.
But here's the truly bizarre part.
A mere couple of days later, I called a girl from
another nearby high school who I had met on a
weekend trip a few months prior.
She had given me her number (probably because
she actually liked me...go figure). Now that Christa
had bailed on me, I used it.
This particular girl was another spunky, smiley little
blondie with sparkling green eyes, like Christa's
friend Cathy...only she was named Stacey.
Stacey was at least as cute as either Christa or
Cathy. Imagine a 16-year-old I Dream Of Jeannie
and you won't be far off.
But in my twisted mind, the greatest irony of all was
that she said "YES" enthusiastically when I
suggested we should meet and spend some time
together.
I felt flat-out stupid for having thought Christa was
my only option.
And let me tell you, stupidity morphed into flat-out
nausea when I read what some other girls wrote in
my yearbook after graduation my senior year.
What the hell was wrong with me?
Clearly, I had squandered many, many opportunities
with very cute girls all throughout high school.
One of these days I should take digital photos of
pages from my senior yearbook, post them in the
Facebook group and let you guys throw rotten
veggies at me and laugh your collective butts off.
You'd see what I'm talking about plain as day. That's
how blatantly dumb I'd been.
Why did I let that happen? Because I didn't think
any of them could possibly really like me.
But all the while the truth had been that Christa
wasn't a fluke.
She was a perfectly rational girl, able to decide for
herself what guy she likes and why.
So were (and are) most of the others out there.
In fact, it's safe to assume that all women are, no
matter whether they're 16 or 116, or anywhere in
between. (Well, 116 is pushing it, but you get my
point.)
Guys, here it is: If ONE woman likes you, there
are OTHERS out there who will also.
Bet on it.
Roll the dice and bet BIG on it.
"Luck" has nothing to do with it, actually.
If you are attractive to the first woman who comes
along, there WILL be a second.
And a third.
And a fourth.
I already hear some of the excuses you might have.
Save them.
I realize not every woman is going to like you, just
like you're not going to like every woman. That's not
an excuse, that's just human nature.
Check it out...at least one of my friends back in high
school was quick to tell me, "Dude, Christa's not all
that, man."
His girlfriend was a completely different kind of girl,
so it was all good. To each his own.
But Christa didn't really care what he thought, as far
as I could tell. And neither did I.
And nor should you care what women who aren't
attracted to you think.
The point remains: If one woman likes you, others
will too.
In fact, they probably already do.
If you've had at least one woman show interest in
you recently, you're cheating yourself by considering
that a freakish accident.
And hey, looking back, was the last time a woman
liked you a long time ago?
All that means is that you have it in you.
You just have to put aside what's happened recently
and go back and claim the popularity with the ladies
that's rightfully yours.
Maybe you are even brash enough to think that no
woman has ever liked you.
If that's the case, you've been blind to how women
indicate their subtle interest in you.
Either that or you've completely neglected your social
skills and/or personal hygiene.
And the latter, my friend, isn't any woman's fault.
My point is that no matter what, you should have at
one point or another experienced at least one woman
having shown interest in you.
And that means that you should understand yourself
as being interesting to other women out there also.
Keep your eyes open for the women out there who
are digging you.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
=====
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