[X&Y] The Truth About Flirting

Published: Wed, 02/08/23



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You may have been reading these newsletters and
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it all.

But meanwhile, you're still not meeting and
attracting the right women.

Or you may already have a great woman in your
life...but your relationship could be doing better.

So like other men who know what it takes to make
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Like true champions--and future champions--
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Lately, I've been getting more questions
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other coaches in this space.


After all, we cover all sorts of topics around here.

First of all, I'm the coach men hire when they have
PUZZLES in their dating life and relationships that
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gone on for way too long.

If that's you, you already know you deserve what
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Many of you know Emily and I both emerged from
toxic relationships with exes suffering from
psychoses. Lots of you guys are enduring a similar
ordeal now, or perhaps are still recovering from it.

I've not only been there...I've helped plenty of men
emerge victorious.

And here's an interesting one...

You may be a man who is hyper-masculine in
appearance and how you carry yourself, yet
you're somehow different around women...and
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That one is more common than ever lately.

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is.

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...without risking all the social landmines out
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The first step is to go to get on my calendar.

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Results In Advance



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THE TRUTH ABOUT FLIRTING


What do you think of when you hear the word "flirting"?

Be honest.

For years (make that decades) I used to equate the concept of
flirting with making the kind of remarks and/or gestures toward
women that would get you slapped, if not arrested, for your efforts.

Images of construction workers whistling at female passers-by.
Unsolicited whacks on the tail.  Lines like "Hey baby, nice shoes..."

Know what I mean?

Basically, being called a "flirt" was never something positive back
when I was in school.  At least, I didn't THINK it was.

Except that in retrospect, all the guys the girls would call a
"flirt" in an irritated and/or shocked tone of voice also seemed to
be the ones who ended up going out with them.

Was it that  maybe the girls actually LIKED being flirted with, and
my own misinformation about all male behavior equating to bad
behavior had clouded my logic?

Nah...couldn't have been.

Flirting had to have been a bad idea if I wanted to be a "nice
guy".

At least that's what I used to think.

But nowadays my perspective is different.

It all started when I figured out that women talk about flirting A
LOT.  In fact, women's dating advice is practically obsessed with
it.

Considering women talk about it so much, I realized it can't
automatically be a "negative" as far as they're concerned.

The truth is that women, like men, want to know HOW to flirt...and
they want to know WHEN to flirt.

Moreover, they want to know how to respond positively to men who
are flirting with THEM.

You mean the answer isn't as easy as "slap us, stomp away
angrily and call security?"

Apparently not.  That wouldn't require so much writing on the
subject.

Go figure.


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The very first Masterclass For Men was on flirting,
and it was wildly popular. Get in on it here right now:


https://programs.deservewhatyouwant.com/mc-april-2022

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So here's the deal.  If women WANT to be flirted with, then the
real definition of what "flirting" is must somehow be different
than "unsolicited, unwanted sexual advances".

And it is.

The real definition of "flirting" is not only VERY different than
that, it's also disarmingly simple.

Ready?

"Flirting" is simply any interaction of any kind with MOTOS
(members of the other sex) that would flat-out feel wrong were
it directed to someone of the same gender.

Granted, I'm assuming heterosexuality here, but I trust you get
my point.

It's not necessarily overtly sexual communication.

It's simply DIFFERENT.

If you see a woman coming the other way and smile at her, you
probably wouldn't have smiled that way at another guy.

We all know that if you lock eyes with a man and hold the gaze,
it signals potential hostility.  So you'd probably avoid that
scenario.

But if you lock eyes with a woman and hold it, that's DIFFERENT.

If you're checking in at the airline counter and the woman asks for
your ID, you might joke with her that she's probably wondering if
she's old enough to hang out with you.

Innocent enough...but not exactly what you'd say is she were a
guy, right?

If you're shopping for clothes and ask a particularly hot woman who
works there to recommend some stylish threads to "make you look
good", and she obliges, my guess is that you'll interact with her
along the way a bit differently than you would if some dude was
helping you.

In fact, you'd probably tell the guy who works there that you were
"just looking" and take your chances on your own.

Why?

Because that's DIFFERENT.  It's just not the SAME when someone
of the same gender helps you with stuff like that.

I think too many of us as guys are too uptight about, if not
downright scared of flirting because we treat it as a black and
white issue.

What if you started looking at the grey area?

What if you made a habit of realizing that simple banter with
women doesn't have to be sexually charged in order to classify
as flirting?

Could you potentially see how by doing so you can quickly and
easily set yourself apart as a MAN rather than some neuter
creature...all the while without being creepy, sleazy or pushy?

What if you began to free yourself to interact with women in a
way that's DIFFERENT than how you interact with other guys?

Sound good?  Thought so.

And here is the wild part:  I bet you already do exactly that.

Probably without even realizing it.

Every day, 95% or more of us as guys are on auto-pilot as far as
interacting with women "differently" goes.

In other words, it's likely that you already have more practice and
are probably better at flirting than you guess.

Now, don't get me wrong.  If you are one of the 5% out there
who absolutely, positively and robotically responds to any human
being drawing breath in the same manner all the time, you
probably need to loosen up.

In fact, if that's the case call me immediately and let's get it
dealt with.

But see, my guess is that 80% of you guys reading this are thinking
you must be part of that 5%. 
Yet you probably are not.

Test me here.  The next time you leave the house, pay careful
attention to how you interact with men compared to how you interact
with women.

My educated guess is you'll note clear differences that you may
not have even noticed before.

That's because you're a FLIRT.  And you're hard-wired to be--
practically from birth.

Amazingly, flirting isn't even limited to hot women you are
attracted to, let alone only to women you've just met.

Since it's not necessarily sexually charged, just about anyone or
anything female could potentially be responded to "differently".

And they should...even if you've known them for fifty years.

It's all about making women smile.  It's about making them
comfortable with you.  It's about giving them the distinct privilege,
accompanied by the subtle thrill, of having a MAN in their
presence.

Now, with THAT final piece of the puzzle in place, you can now see
how "stage 2" flirting--the kind that involves a little more sexual
zing--is a natural outflow from this "different" style of
communication with women.

But as a man, you can modulate how that goes by leading as you
interact with women.

For instance, you say something fun and challenging to brighten her
day.  How does she respond?

If she responds in a manner that is decidedly different than how
she might respond to some other lady, then you've got a willing
accomplice.

If she's stone cold and about as neuter as a Styrofoam cup...well,
maybe not.

But if she responds powerfully to your leadership in the
conversation, you can then train yourself to recognize that as
potential interest of the decidedly NON-neuter kind.

At that point, get her number.  Make plans to see her again.  DO
SOMETHING
rather than leave her hanging.  Because if you do not,
you'll disappoint her.

Oh...and by the way...in case you haven't figured it out yet, all of
this logic works in reverse.

Have you been sitting around lately complaining that women should
"show more interest" in guys and/or "make it easier" for you to
approach them?

From now on, you know that if a woman is interacting with you in
any way that's DIFFERENT from how she would typically deal with
another woman, then you've got all the info you need.

After all, she probably won't whistle like a construction worker,
grab your crotch or use some line on you.  At least probably not.

So with that in mind, give all that I've shared with you a try.  I
promise you'll be blown away.


 
 



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