[X&Y] What To Do When Another Guy Tries To Take Your Girl

Published: Sat, 02/18/23

 
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WHAT'S INSIDE:  You're talking to a woman
and some other dude blatantly starts talking
to her also--cutting you off. What do you do?

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"SO,  YOU'RE GOING TO TELL US 'BAD
BOYS' AND JERKS GET WOMEN, RIGHT?"


Yesterday I announced this month's
Masterclass For Men, called End The
"Mr. Nice Guy" Problem.

If you checked out the web page I built
for it, you may have noticed the subtitle
reads: Without Having To Be A Jerk About
It.

You've been given a false choice,
gentlemen: "nice guy" vs. "bad boy"
or "jerk".

But do "bad boys" and I/Js ("Idiot/Jerks",
as I call them) REALLY get women?

Not the highest quality ones, they don't.

So what is REALLY going on here?

When you click on the link below to check
out the details of the Masterclass, take
half a minute to study the picture at the
top of the page:



Masterclass For Men: End The "Mr. Nice Guy" Problem

Wed. 22nd Feb. @ 8pm EST (GMT -5)



The guy in the middle will make you cringe,
that much is for sure. You'll immediately
recognize him as the classic example of
"Mr. Nice Guy" (or "MNG", for short).

But is the guy on the left really a BAD guy,
acting like a jerk?

I mean, doesn't it look more like he's
being NICE as well?

Yet HE'S the one the attractive woman is
paying attention to, with GLOWING approval.

I chose that photo carefully. It JUMPED out
at me as a near-perfect representation of
how THIS Masterclass is going to rock
everything we've all ever heard about "Mr.
Nice Guy" TO THE CORE.



Masterclass For Men: End The "Mr. Nice Guy" Problem

Wed. 22nd Feb. @ 8pm EST (GMT -5)



Once the veil is lifted on HOW and WHY the
"Mr. Nice Guy" persona is repulsive to women
(and to everyone else, really)...

...THAT'S when we replace him with the man
you authentically WANT TO BE, and who you
REALLY are.

And YES. It will revolutionize how women
respond to you. It will probably also transform
how your friends see you, and your trajectory
up the corporate ladder.

The Masterclass is coming up THIS
Wednesday, February 22nd at 8pm EST
(GMT -5)

Don't miss it. When it comes to this topic, WAY
too many men will wander this earth with a
devastating blind spot for the rest of their
days.

Don't be that guy:



Masterclass For Men: End The "Mr. Nice Guy" Problem

Wed. 22nd Feb. @ 8pm EST (GMT -5)



Can't make it on Wednesday night? As always,
that's no problem. The Download Portal will be
fully stocked the very next day for you.



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WHAT TO DO WHEN SOME OTHER GUY TRIES TO TAKE YOUR
GIRL
   

There aren't many dating coaches who write about how to handle
potential conflict situations presented by other guys who have
their eye on the same woman you do.

That's probably because it's not a particularly fun or amusing
subject to talk about.

But the fact remains that you've got to know how to handle yourself
when faced with sudden--and perhaps obnoxious--competition.

Such sticky situations can take various forms depending on the
scenario, but today I want to cover a very specific one.  It
happens to be the one that I'd say most guys dread the most.

Let's call it the "Cut In".  

I'm sure you've seen those old-school movies where a guy and his
chick are dancing in the ballroom at some fancy party, when some
other guy walks up and asks the guy, "May I cut in?"

I've never understood that whole transaction, personally.  

I mean, if it's a wedding and the bride's Uncle Pete wants a quick
dance with the bride because his train leaves in 25 minutes, that's
one thing.

But what d-bag who appears out of nowhere trying to dance with the
woman you're with is so polite about it?

And who in their right mind answers such a ridiculous question
affirmatively, right?

Well nowadays, at least, it would seem that when a guy would rather
HE be the center of a woman's attention than YOU, things tend to
play out a bit differently, even if his desired results are similar.

These other guys tend not to ask if they can "cut in".  They just do.

The other day a guy scheduled some phone time with me specifically
to get my thoughts on THIS very issue.

"So Scot", he started, "here's why I wanted to talk to you."  

"OK man, what's on your mind?"

"Alright, here goes.  Let's say you're at some sort of party or
social event.  You're talking to a girl, and WHAM...some other guy
literally steps in between you and the girl, just blatantly turns
his back to you and starts talking to her instead?"

Ouch, right?  I think just about all of us have had that one happen
to us...and it SUCKS, doesn't it?

I mean, talk about feeling like the wimp at the beach who just got
sand kicked in his face.  That's about as close to the non-seaside
equivalent as I can think of.

And I have to tell you, the guy asking me the question was a
military guy about six-feet tall.

So no matter who you are, there ALWAYS seems to be someone
cocky enough to impose his will upon you with his physical
presence.

That's the part that makes this such a difficult situation to handle
for most guys.

What in the world are you freaking supposed to do?

Well, here's the deal.  There IS an answer to that question, and
it's the RIGHT answer.

Fair warning, though:  You may or may not particularly like what
I'm about to suggest at first.  But if you're willing to think about it
for a while it just might start making sense.

You see, 99.9% of all of us make a critical error in judgment the
moment something like that happens to us.

We make it all about US--how WE'VE just been disrespected, how
everyone must be watching US, and how WE are going to salvage
OUR dignity and feed OUR ego.

That's a big mistake because it almost invariably leads to a stupid
knee-jerk reaction.

Think about all of this for a second.  What would you do?

For example, if some apparently overconfident guy who you think
you could "take" in a fight does such a thing, you might grab him by
the shoulder, spin him around and invite him to take a hike.

Heck, even if he's twice your size you may find the stones to do
the same thing.

But if the guy really is twice your size, you might instead find
yourself tapping him on the shoulder and saying, "Um...excuse me
sir.  I was...um...talking to the lady there.  I don't know if you saw
me, or um...whatever...so if you sort of wouldn't mind, um...?"

Or let's face it, you might just throw up your hands in frustration
and walk away...in shame.

Well, here's something I trust won't surprise you.  NONE of
the options I've just presented are good ones.

That's right.  Not even the one that sort of looks like you're
"defending your manhood".

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[Ed. Note] STOP... Is it obvious to you that ALL THREE of the
possible scenarios above would be "Mr. Nice Guy" reactions?
Yes...even the confrontational one. Expect THAT level of
depth from this month's Masterclass For Men...not the same
old platitudes.

=====

What I suggest instead is stopping in that split second when
everything inside you tells you to "do something".  

Instead, take a deep breath, get out of your own head and watch
the woman.

Her reaction to what's happening will tell you everything you need
to know.

What you're probably not thinking about in the heat of the moment
is how the other guy has not only just committed an aggressive and
downright rude act against YOU, he has also committed one against
her.

What's aggressive and rude in someone's eyes is usually aggressive
and rude in EVERYONE'S eyes...or at least everyone who has
legitimate social skills, that is.

And where I come from, aggressive rudeness is contrary to
everything the "big four" represent.

Since the "big four" qualities attract high quality woman, it follows
suit that what's contrary to them wouldn't, no?

So if you're patient for what amounts to a matter of a few seconds,
the woman will express distaste to the guy for what he did and tell
him to get lost, especially if she was enjoying her conversation with
you.

"Um...excuse me", she might say, "I'm in the middle of a conversation
here.  How rude!"

And if the guy continues trying to talk to her at that point? 

THAT'S when you can leverage the very real "power shift" that just
took place.

At that point YOU are the one who's back in the dominant position
with the woman.
 
You simply walk around the guy so you're standing next to the woman
and give him a look as if to casually indicate, "What, didn't you hear
her?  How awkward for you, man." 

Then you can let a smile cross your face as if you're trying to
restrain laughter.

Importantly, understand it's that shift in the power position that will
cause the other guy to back off. 

Things will not have turned out as he arrogantly expected them to,
so he'll likely make some lame excuse and pretend like nothing
happened.

Unless he's not right in the head, he's not going to get aggressive
with you for the same reason he's not going to continue running his
mouth:  He already looks like an idiot and anything further would
only dig the hole deeper.

Every red-blooded man alive is violently allergic to that feeling.

And hey, if it turns out he is in fact totally nuts, you simply take
the woman's hand and remove her from the situation.  All bets are
off at that point.

But on the other hand, what if you watch the woman's reaction
and she appears to LIKE talking to this other guy better, for some
crazy reason?

Let me assure you this will NOT be the case a high percentage
of the time.  But if it DOES happen, consider two logical thoughts.

First, if she entertains such aggressive rudeness, you're almost
certainly dealing with a woman who would be a BAD choice for a
girlfriend anyway.  You're better off without her.

But more importantly, you've GOT to conclude that if she DOES
allow the "cut in" to happen with her consent, she wasn't digging
your chili to begin with.

Chalk it up to the game and find a woman more worthy of your
conversation, without making anything of it.

"But Scot," someone said, "isn't that being a wuss?"

Listen up.  I fully understand why you want me to recommend
slapping on a set of brass knuckles and clocking the guy.

But what good would that do?

Never mind the age-old truth that "he who hits first gets the assault
charge".  You don't want to spend the night in jail over this jerk or
this indifferent woman.

The real point is this:

The first rule of not giving your power away is you can't "give
away" what you never really had to begin with.

If this woman doesn't prefer you, there IS no "power", and there
never WAS any.

So then, even if you do try to break bad with the guy or somehow
salvage the conversation when the woman would rather be talking to
him anyway, what happens?

Give yourself a gold star if your answer is, "He'll stand beside
the woman, give you a look as if to indicate, 'What are YOU still
doing here?' and try not to laugh his head off."

Yes...it'll be the exact opposite of the optimal scenario I described
above.

There IS no "getting your power back" when she has no interest in
you.

That goes for any situation with a woman, by the way, whether
you've known her ten seconds or ten years.

The best move is to truly reclaim your personal power elsewhere
by moving on to a woman who is more interested.
 



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