"I don't care what others think of me...or my girlfriend."


That may be the battle cry of independent thinkers everywhere, but
there's one undeniable truth that must be considered, nonetheless.

The people who know you the best and care about you the most can
sometimes see things that you might be too "blinded by bliss" to
consider yourself, let alone admit to.

The problem is that people who'd like to remain on good terms with
us aren't very likely to hand out the blunt truth when they see
"red flags".   

Make no mistake about it, though.  We certainly don't want to get
"blown and tossed by the wind" based on the opinions of
others...especially the "one off" remarks that could be generated by
resentment and/or pure jealousy.
 
But on the other hand, if we're smart we'd do well to read
recurring patterns we notice in even the subtlest feedback from
others, and let it serve notice to us when necessary.

Here's how to tell what people who are close to you are really
thinking with regard to the woman you're with, simply by what
they're saying out loud.

To keep it breathtakingly simple, I've narrowed it down to "Good"
and "Bad" in terms of how people are assessing whether she's
potentially good for you or not.



1)  Your Guy Friends


Good =  "Dude...how did YOU end up with HER?"  


Bad =  "Yeah, she's...uh...nice."


While it's true that your closest friends might give you their
thoughts straight up, most of the guys in your social circle are
aren't going to do anything crazy and self-defeating like admit
that your girlfriend is hotter than theirs.  

And let's get real.  Most guys you know probably aren't dating
hotties.

As such, something like unto the "Good" example I gave above is
what you're most likely to hear.  

That way, they can keep their dignity by busting on you a bit even
as they're all but forced by what's self-evident to acknowledge
that they perceive your gal to be high quality.

Similarly, the flip side is that we as guys don't really tend to
"go there" when our buddies are dating women who we really wouldn't
favor ourselves.  

Even if it's a matter of her being flat-out poisonous in addition
to lacking attractiveness, we're likely to come up with something
positive to say...even if to a minimalist degree.

Hence, the "Bad" example above.

    

2)  Other Women You Know


Good = "She's precious/adorable/perfect for you."


Bad =  They'll say NOTHING


Unless they harbor secret feelings of affection for you, women in
your social circle will not hesitate to gush about a woman they see
as a high quality addition to your life.

Interestingly, however, unlike your guy friends who will feel
compelled to say something even when they question your choice in
women, the women you know will flat-out CLAM UP when they aren't
all that impressed.

Oddly, even though women can be "catty" as all get out with each
other, they don't typically interact in such a manner with guys.

Knowing all-too-well that guys' minds work differently, they don't
want to risk looking jealous, hurtful or petty.  They also don't
want to instigate any sort of conflict.

So...they just keep their opinions to themselves.

    

3)  Older People / Mentors


Good = "She's a gem."


Bad =  "Well, make sure to keep your options open."


It really comes down to this.  People who are a bit older and know
that they've earned your respect in a way that goes beyond mere
"buddy" status will give you some of the most valuable feedback you
can imagine regarding who you're dating.

You've chosen which older people you respect based on certain gifts
they have.   

One of those is probably their ability to demonstrate that they
care about your best interests even as they know how to be honest
with you without "blowing you out of the tub."

So hey, when they see good things in the woman you're dating,
you'll get an example like you see above.

This positions their opinion quite clearly while somehow cutting
out any potential weird complication associated with their also
finding her sexually attractive.  See what I mean?  

But when the people you respect who've "been around the block" a
bit aren't exactly seeing in your new girlfriend what you are at
the moment, they'll be a bit more forthright than your peers...while
still not quite laying it on the line.

They'll feel the need to remain socially polite, but they'll drop
the necessary hint...no doubt.

    

4)  Your Parents


Good = "You've done well for yourself, son."  


Bad =  "We just want you to be happy, that's all."  


Awful = They'll let you have it, and you should listen.


I'm assuming, for the purposes at hand, that you have a solid
relationship with your parents.

In such case, when they meet your girlfriend you'll hear something
to the effect of the examples I've given above based on what they
see in her.

Remember, parents tend to think in terms of "long-term potential"
no matter who you introduce them to.  

That's how they keep themselves sane vis-à-vis letting their
thoughts ramble about your dating life.

If you consider for a second about how repulsed you are by the
thought of your parents having sex, you'll kind of get my drift.
It's like that for them, only in reverse.

With regard to the main point here, however, the added twist with
parents compared to others you know is that they are people you
feel VERY comfortable with.

So even though your Mom and (especially) Dad might not get weird
and tell you how sexy they think your chick is, you can indeed plan
on the purest form of honesty from them as you're likely to get
from anyone you know.

If they simply suspect she's not good for you, they know better
than to say something to sabotage your life.  After all, y'all are
stuck with each other as family and it makes no sense to start
rifts unnecessarily.

That's precisely why you might hear something similar to the "Bad"
example above.

But note that I added an "Awful" provision in this particular case.

When your parents--who both love you and are comfortable with
you--are reasonably sure you're about to ruin your life, they're
going to be pretty frank about it.



Are there more, and possibly better examples than what I've shared
above?  Certainly.  But I wanted to at least give you the framework
to be able to read people's thoughts about your girlfriend with
some measure of accuracy

Remember, you're free to choose whoever you want for female
companionship.  And it's very true that you shouldn't be influenced
by just any random opinion someone else may have.

But those in your family and your social circle can--and will--give
you valuable patterns of information that will help you validate
your feelings toward a woman, or otherwise.

And when it comes to deciding the long-term potential of a woman,
you'll always benefit from making full use of every resource at
hand.


Be Good,

Scot McKay




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