[X&Y] How To Give Her Compliments Without Looking Needy Or Desperate

Published: Thu, 02/23/23


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IN THIS EDITION: Doesn't giving a woman
compliments make a guy look needy and
desperate? Not necessarily.
 
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HOW TO GIVE HER COMPLIMENTS WITHOUT LOOKING
NEEDY OR DESPERATE


OK, let's say you've either just met a woman or are meeting
with her 1-on-1 for the first time.

And let's assume that she has already impressed your socks
off. 

In fact, you're thinking if you ever have the good fortune to
see this woman naked you will have pretty much hit the jackpot.

So now what?

How do you conduct yourself?  What should you say to her?

If you talk about weather and politics you'll come off as
"neuter" and thereby FAIL to create attraction.

Somehow, you've GOT to show her you're interested in being
MORE than "just a friend".

But the problem is you may have been given any (or all) of the
following weird advice:


1)   Make sure you knock her off her pedestal a bit.


2)   Act indifferent toward her so she'll chase YOU instead of
vice-versa.


And, of course, perhaps the most infamous strategy (or is that
"stragedy"?) of all...

 
3)   NEVER give a woman a compliment...ever.


Now listen.  I understand the thought process behind each of
those three tactics.

Sadly, most guys who are "newbies" when it comes to interacting
with women tend to come off like desperate, starving puppies
when confronted with a real, live opportunity to attract a sexy
woman.

Such guys might start gushing about how beautiful the woman is
to them, sort of like Enos always did to "Miss Daisy" in The Dukes
Of Hazzard.

Or what's arguably worse, they start bragging about anything and
everything possible in a feeble attempt to "impress" her.

So sure...each of the three strategies above are intended to put
an end to these basic destructive tendencies.

But at best, they're "stop gap" measures. 

Since there's a lot of "grey area" when it comes to creating
attraction, there are potentially troublesome issues with each.

If and when any or all of them become habit, you'll soon find that
the proverbial pendulum has swung the opposite way...and that's
not good.

Regarding #1 for example, what if she ISN'T exactly so "full of
herself" and in fact doesn't have rock-solid self-esteem? 

She could take what you say seriously, no matter how playful you
are about saying it...and that would be counter-productive.

And yikes...MOST women aren't exactly paragons of self-esteem,
no matter how beautiful or generally sharp they are.

As for the second one, remember a woman is a human being
just like you. (Really...I promise.) 

Knowing that, how do YOU usually read someone who acts utterly
disinterested in you?  Thought so.

And the third one?  Ask yourself if that's what you REALLY want
out of the interaction. 

Are you the kind of man who honesty prefers to NEVER say
something positive to a woman that might actually LIFT her
imperfect (read: normal and human) self-esteem?

Again, as a human being how excited would YOU be to hang out
with a woman who never, ever acknowledged you looked good,
were talented, or basically ever did anything right?

You and I both know we as guys tend to show TONS of disdain
for women who are like that.

And it's equally safe to say no woman will ever confuse a guy
who offers ZERO approval of her for anyone who has her best
interests at heart.   You really can't instill a sense of safety and
security in her that way, can you?

So simply put, as you get better with women--as I trust you will--
you'll need more effective ways to proceed.

No doubt you've seen guys who appear to be doing well with
women.  I'm sure you've noticed that they actually give women
compliments.  There's no denying it.

But here's the amazing part.  Contrary to what all the "newbie"
guides you've read suggest, they actually get somewhere with
women by doing so.

In fact, some guys can give women all sorts of complimentary
indicators of "approval" and still charm her to no end.

Why does that WORK for them?

Usually, they are confident any woman in her right mind should
find them inherently attractive. 

Therefore, there's no need to "impress" a woman. Compliments
and other clear demonstrations of interest are honest and sort of
matter-of-fact, actually.

But there's another reason why giving women compliments works
FOR these guys instead of AGAINST them.

Usually, guys who are effective with women give approval to them
when they've expressly EARNED it.

In other words, there's no "halo effect" when they interact with
ANY woman.  There's no "pre-approval" of her as some sort of
goddess or something.

Guys who are good at this stuff wait until they hear about how she
donates her time to the homeless before telling her they're "proud
of her".

Similarly, they wait until she has done her hair up in a special
way just to go out on a date with him...and THEN they tell her how
beautiful her hair looks.

Can you detect the very clear difference between what's going on
there and the "Staving Chihuahua Syndrome"?

To spell it out, the difference between needy, desperate compliments
(or any needy, desperate attention, really) and the kind of attention
women LIKE is very clear-cut.

Because a man who is NOT desperate or needy is a chooser
instead of a chaser, the woman tends to actually feel privileged to
hear a compliment from him.  It means something to her.

Once again, let's talk in "human" terms rather than "man vs.
woman". 

What kind of approval means more to you?  The kind that feels
manipulative, or the kind that is genuinely EARNED from
someone who means it?

Thought so.

If a woman is beautiful and talented, she wants to hear it from
you...but only after she knows you have a truly informed frame of
reference. 

And by the way, since women follow your lead, it's especially
crucial not to turn the "newbie" strategy of "never giving a woman
compliments" into a lifetime habit. 

Can you see why?  That would be one miserable life together
indeed.


 
 

P.S. Yes, today's newsletter is pretty basic "Mr. Nice Guy" stuff.
The newest and most powerful strategies were all revealed in this
month's Masterclass For Men.

If today's newsletter resonated with you, it's safe to say the
Masterclass will blow you away:



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