[X&Y] Read This If You Think She's "Out Of Your League"

Published: Sat, 02/25/23



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IS SHE REALLY "OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE"?


This time let's talk about a powerful way to gain confidence and
meet more women.

That's the skill of seeing yourself as others see you...and then how to
see others as they see themselves.

So what does that mean?

You as a human being are in a remarkable position.  Have you ever
considered how wild it truly is that out of seven billion plus human
beings just like you on this planet, you will only ever see light
through the eyes of one of them?  

You are confined to your own physical being, at least insofar as the
laws of physics apply in this life. 

Now consider how many of us are limited in our belief that we can
possibly deserve the kind of partner we want.  

Considering our common human condition, it can be safely assumed
that much of the problem is directly attributable to how we see
ourselves vs. how we see others.

Since you know every intimate detail of your own thoughts, fears
and weaknesses--as well as your strengths, of course--you know all of
your own darkest secrets.  

Every imperfection, every prurient thought, every doubt and indeed
every single blasted thing that would be humiliating if someone else
found out about it.

Armed with this knowledge, what do you do?  You go out and become
completely disarmed by a "beautiful" and apparently "perfect"
creature of the other gender.  In your mind, she is flawless.

Then comes the vortex of self-doubt.  

"Oh man...I could never be in HER league.  She's a veritable vision
of perfection, and I come from a foreign country, need a haircut, have
a big nose, have spring allergies, say stupid things when nervous,
masturbate twice a day, chew my toenails in private and once cheated
on a math test."

So once again you talk yourself out of being successful.

Meanwhile, she who is your "vision of perfection" is inside her own state
of being thinking, "Girl...get yourself together!  Your panty lines are
showing, you have stupid looking ears, are habitually late for work,
snort when you laugh, have two crooked teeth and wear contact
lenses.  No wonder you've been dateless for over a month now!"

Crazy stuff, isn't it?  If only we could see inside each other's heads.

Better yet, if only we could read what other people think of us.

Well, you can't do that, but here are three simple exercises you can
do:



1)  Eliminate private knowledge as a "limiting factor"


First and foremost, realize that your private thoughts are not
public. 

Nobody else can evaluate you by them, so stop using them against
yourself. 

They do not exist in the minds of others because they can not. 



2)  Take mental notes regarding how others respond to you


Next, consider the comments you receive from people.  Where you
hear patterns repeated, believe what you are hearing.

If they're pointing to ways you can better yourself, do so and
deserve what you want. 

If you hear recurring positive comments and/or see recurring
positive reactions to your presence and/or interactions, begin to
recognize the truly positive manner in which others perceive you.  

This sounds so simplistic, yet how many of us go home and obsess
over self-perceived "negatives" that we are repeatedly told are
positives?  

If in doubt, begin to pay careful attention to this dynamic in
your life.  Note those patterns you detect, and trust them.



3)  Pretend you are walking in the shoes of someone you find
attractive


Okay, here's the "power ball".  Ready?  

My guess is that when you encounter someone who really motors your
sexual attraction levels, she is actually more "perfectly imperfect" than
"perfect".

The next time you are practically paralyzed by attraction towards
a woman, I want you pretend for a moment that you were her
instead of yourself.  

In your darkest, most self-critical thoughts, what would you be
most self-conscious about?  

Go ahead and in your blind attraction make an effort to approach
that concept with sober judgment.  

You will likely identify an entire litany of faults and potential
attitudes that would make her super insecure, at least
theoretically.  

Ironically, you may find yourself recognizing traits and/or
features that some people may be self-critical about but which
are at the same time exactly what is making you so hot for her.  

It's strange for sure.  But it is an eye opener.



What we're really exposing here is a dark corner of human
arrogance.  

We somehow believe that our own self-pronounced judgments
against ourselves and for others somehow carry greater weight
than everyone else's, don't we?  

That's exactly what ends up limiting us, yet in reality yours or
mine is only one of over seven billion different perspectives--be
it towards ourselves or others.  

Allow yourself to see others' perspectives for a change.

Do so and feel the shock when you meet someone who knocks
you out, yet you quickly realize as you get to know her that many
of the insecurities you saw from her potential perspective are
actually there.  

And feel the power and joy of being able to share with her how
attractive you find her anyway.  How cool is that?

Today I've let you in on a secret:  You may already deserve way
more than you have been giving yourself credit for.


 
 



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