[X&Y] The Secret To Not Putting Women On A Pedestal

Published: Mon, 01/09/23



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IN THIS EDITION:  A number of the "lady gurus" out there are
telling women to consider themselves "divine goddesses".  
What's up with that?

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THE SECRET TO NOT PUTTING WOMEN ON A PEDESTAL


If you were ever to consume dating advice for women, which I
imagine you typically don't, you would often see how women are
encouraged to consider themselves "divine goddesses".

No doubt, that sort of imagery is widely-used with female audiences
far and wide, presumably to help empower women vis-a-vis the
pandemic phenomenon among them of low-self-esteem (LSE).

Now I personally have no problem with empowerment and doing
something about rampant LSE.  That is absolutely necessary.

But "divine goddess"?  Come on.

Never mind that identifying as a deity is shaky ground to begin
with.  That goes without saying.

The real danger here, apparently unbeknownst to a ton of women's
dating experts, is that plenty of guys are already pre-programmed
to believe and act as if women really are some sort of higher power.

Simply put, whether women are ready to believe they are "divine
goddesses" or not, we really don't need any extra convincing.

At least, that's sure how it seems.

But the fact remains the same no matter what:  Women are no more
superhuman than we are as guys.  Period.

And to be perfectly frank with you, encouraging us men to put women
on an even higher pedestal is counter-productive to everyone
involved anyway.

That's right.  Even as the "lady gurus" purveying this sort of thought
believe themselves to be empowering women, they may in fact
be perpetuating the cycle of dating frustration...for both men AND
women.

Here's why.

For starters, need I belabor the point that pre-approval of any
particular woman (let alone women in general) as summarily out of
our league leads to certain failure?

You've got to be a chooser instead of a chaser, or else any woman
will find herself disinterested to the core...perhaps without even
knowing why.

Why?  Well granted, it just might have been that mix disc you so
painstakingly prepared for her the day after meeting her, probably
containing such gems as "She's So High" in the playlist.

And even if you're more subtle about your "worship", the woman will
be left thinking for some reason that you were flat-out too easy to
catch, and maybe she could do better.

Enough said about that.

But I would contend that even we as guys get crossed up in the
attraction department when we fall for the "women are goddesses"
meme.

By that I mean we can potentially become as disappointed and
frustrated with women as they are with us.  Really.

Think of it this way.

Let's say you look across the room and behold what you are
instantly sure is the image of female perfection.

And right then and there you place her among the pantheon of
"goddesses".

Now, as infinitesimal the odds are of her actually being attracted
to you when you've got that attitude on, let's extend to you the
"benefit of the doubt" for the sake of argument here.

As such, you actually get a first meeting with said "goddess".

And accordingly, you expect utter perfection.  I mean, that only
follows logically, correct?

So from the outset you pile the pressure on yourself to match up as
her Mr. Perfect, lest the slightest misstep derail everything.

Strike one.  She's following your lead...right into the pressure
cooker.  

And guess what, she may or may not consider herself to fall under
the "goddess" classification, making matters worse.

But either way, layer that ridiculous amount of self-imposed
pressure on her part on top of yours.  Wow...I can cut the negative
tension with a knife just thinking about it.  Strike two.

And then, the unthinkable happens.  She fails you in some way.

Any way.

Maybe it comes out that she's not the image of virginal purity you
assumed a "goddess" would be.  Welcome to the mother of all
madonna/whore complexes.  

OR...maybe she ends up not having the amount of knowledge of and/or
interest in a particular subject that is deeply important to you.
And you're deflated like a flat tire.

OR...maybe she stinks up the bathroom at your apartment one night
when you're cooking dinner with her.

Strike three.

Any woman (or any human being on Earth) simply cannot measure up to
a yardstick of perfection, can she?

And as you can see, everyone loses when we have goddess like
expectations when it comes to women.

I mean, the chances of any of us even getting a date with a high-quality
woman are next to nil to begin with when we think like that.

But how depressing is it to think that we're pretty much cratering
everyone's chances at any semblance of happiness even if we do
create initial attraction on her part?

So come on "lady gurus"...how about turning your attention to
empowering women in the context of being real human beings, without
setting both they and the guys they meet up for failure?

And as for us, it's all-important to maintain the level-headed view
that even the most attractive women on Earth are human, just like
us.

Let that sink in, and you'll find your interactions with women to
we way less pressure-packed...and far more enjoyable.

So once again, there you have yet another arrow in your quiver when
it comes to going from good to great with women.


Be Good,

Scot McKay




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