[X&Y] Discouraged In California
Published: Wed, 04/12/23
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WHAT'S INSIDE: Here's a letter from a reader who's finding
nothing but frustration online. Read on for my surprising response...=====
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READER QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS
Hi Scot,
I am amazed that you are such a fan of online dating, even though
you were one of the few that was fortunate to meet your wife on a
dating site.
You make it sound like a veritable Garden of Eden for men looking
for a relationship or marriage.
The experiences of my friends and I do not mirror the luck you seem
to have had and we live in a good market here in Southern
California.
In our experiences the women we encounter are never as good
looking as their pictures, frequently lie about their weight and age
(and sometimes even their marital status), and have all sorts of
looking as their pictures, frequently lie about their weight and age
(and sometimes even their marital status), and have all sorts of
emotional baggage.
The few that do have their acts together and look half way decent
are so inundated with responses that they don't reply to anyone or
are simply on the sites to feed their egos.
So who really needs to get involved with women that have more
problems than we do?
I am just curious how you were able to develop this great stock of
women to choose from and how you avoided kissing a veritable
army of toads before you found your princess?
army of toads before you found your princess?
Thanks,
Marshall (aka "Discouraged In California")
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Hello Marshall, and thanks for writing.
Man, I've been exactly where you are before, way back in 2003
shortly after my divorce.
But sure enough, after tons of trial and error I finally cracked
the code when it comes to online dating and started seeing
tremendous success.
Rest assured, luck had nothing to do with it.
And I've got some BAD NEWS and some GOOD NEWS for you
and your friends.
First, the BAD NEWS.
A staggering percentage of guys who try online dating end up as
frustrated as you guys are.
Very few men see any success whatsoever, and most quit in
shame and disgust within 90 days (and that's generous).
Almost invariably, so many fail at online dating simply because
they have NO IDEA how it really works and/or NO IDEA how to
truly get a quality woman's attention...and keep it.
On the other hand, there's GOOD NEWS, as promised.
(And by the way, since I'm officially "retired" from online dating
nowadays, of course, I don't mind sharing this with you--although
I would have been CRAZY to back in '04 or '05 when my online
dating life was firing on all cylinders.)
Here's it is: Guys who DO know the ropes end up with ALL the
women, even as they do better at screening out the "wannabes".
And amazingly, there's a practical secret these guys know that
separates them from the herd.
Perhaps the best news of all is that their secret is 100%
repeatable by just about any guy.
So what is it?
Almost invariably, guys who really do well at online dating
have the golden advantage of having learned from someone
else.
That's right. They've gone to another guy who knows the
shortcut to winning at online dating.
And by "winning" I mean getting most of the women you really
want to meet to respond to first e-mails, actually meeting them in
person AND having them actually meet your real-world
expectations because you screened them effectively.
That's IT. That's ALL there is to it.
But hold on a second...as easy as it all sounds, the weird part is
these guys STILL remain a very small minority.
Why is that?
Well, ironically enough, it's because joining their exclusive ranks
requires a man to break stride from his very nature.
You see, as much of a cliché as it is, it's absolutely true that
most guys will NEVER, EVER ask for directions...no matter HOW
"lost" they get.
Further, for whatever reason most guys will NEVER invest in
their own success with women.
College? Sure.
The driving range? Absolutely.
Skills with women? Nope...they'll "wing it", even to the bitter end.
Meanwhile, those few guys who are actually meeting the finest
women you see online are fully capitalizing on this huge tactical
error made by the vast majority of guys.
And to them, it's a beautiful thing that the rest of their fellow
brethren online remain clueless.
Here's the real-world truth about how all of this pans out, in
plain English...
Since women are not usually so interested in dating multiple men
at once, if a certain guy can narrow down a search to say, ten
first-tier women and then end up meeting 6-8 of them, it stands
to reason that VERY FEW guys can possibly be experiencing that
level of success.
It's simple arithmetic. The hottest women on a dating site are the
extreme minority...I'll grant you that. So when one guy has six or
eight of them, he's basically not leaving much for anyone else
So yes, to the guys who are failing at it, online dating looks like
a hopeless venture at best, and an outright scam at worst.
Meanwhile, for the guys who "get it" it's like shooting fish in
a barrel.
Seriously.
Again, having been BOTH of those guys before, I really can tell
you it requires more skill than luck, without question.
And no...regardless of what you might want to believe, it has little
to do with what your stat sheet looks like.
I'm living proof of that (and haven't heard anyone successfully
argue the contrary on my behalf yet, either!)
So then, what can you do right now to start ascending to the
head of the pack?
We've already established that if you really want results, you
just can't "wing it" anymore.
You can shorten the curve with my jam-packed Online Dating
Domination 3.0 program:
In fact, let me make it a "no brainer" for you.
Until tomorrow night, I've activated the coupon code that
gives you a whopping 50% off.
It will be automatically activated for you at checkout.
It will be automatically activated for you at checkout.
That way you really have no more excuses.
Or, if you'd prefer 1-on-1 attention from me personally, sign
up for the Online Dating Success Package:
You can even have me write your very own devastatingly
effective Projection Profile for you:
Projection Profile - Full Service
Of guys who have chosen one of those paths, one has
dated a former contestant on The Bachelor, another went
out with the TV weather girl in Minneapolis, another went
from utterly dateless to having his profile featured by
Match.com on the front page of Yahoo, and yet another
reported an unthinkable 100% success rate having written
to over 40 women in The Bay Area.
And oh, I almost forgot...a guy right here in San Antonio
actually met a Spurs Silver Dancer (i.e. NBA cheerleader)
ONLINE.
So there's definitely a track record that speaks loud and
clear.
But you've got to make it happen. "Hope" is not a strategy.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
P.S. To you guys reading this who have never tried online
dating yet, let this newsletter ENCOURAGE you rather than
DISCOURAGE you.
Marshall and his friends can turn their online dating fortunes
around, no doubt.
But YOU have the golden opportunity to bypass ALL the
frustration and get the online dating site of your choice
working for you to fill your life with amazing women RIGHT
AWAY.
Think about it...
=====
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