[X&Y] Don't Let ONE Woman Do This To You

Published: Fri, 04/14/23



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WHAT'S INSIDE:  How can it be that we're usually our own
worst enemy when it comes to success with women?

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DON'T LET ONE WOMAN DO THIS TO YOU


All of us are inspired when we hear stories of BELIEF in the face
of DOUBT.  Movies like "The Pursuit Of Happyness" [sic], "Rudy"
and "Hoosiers" all come to mind.  

The characters in each respective flick are repeatedly told that
they would or even should fail, yet their sheer will and
determination carries them to wildly successful victory against
all odds.

And it's human nature for us to love these movies.

So why, then, is it also human nature for us to do the exact
opposite when is comes to our dating lives?  Why do we so often
DOUBT in the face of BELIEF when it comes to approaching
women? 

I mean, realistically speaking, the symptoms of this disorder
often extend even into first dates, second dates and possibly
even into 50 year marriages.

Here's a case in point.

This week I was engaged in a discussion about online dating
involving the finer points of sending emails to women. 

While common wisdom suggests that e-mails that aren't responded
to indicate disinterest, I happen to believe that the very most popular
women online are often so inundated with messages that they
will respond ONLY to second attempts at contact. 

Such women are wise to "cut/paste" first emails from lazy,
unimaginative men and therefore want to know who is genuinely
interested enough to make a real effort. 

While "always" is a precarious term to use when dealing with real
people, my personal field testing has shown that women will
respond to a well-placed and effectively written second email
well over 50% of the time.

My friend vehemently disagreed and said he refuses to send second
emails to women.  After all, he's got "proof" it doesn't work. 

He proceeded to pull up an email from one woman who responded to
a second email with, "Don't you get it?  'No answer' means 'NO
INTEREST'!" 

ONE EMAIL from ONE WOMAN had such a profound impact on my
friend that it shaped his entire opinion on the matter.  Are you kidding
me? 

Never mind the fact that I could pull up probably fifty or so positive
responses to second emails from my own personal online dating files. 

Now sure...in all honesty, I too had a few terse responses mixed in
there as well.

Nevertheless, the overwhelmingly positive ratio based on a greater
amount of experience flat-out did not matter to my friend.

What this all comes down to is that we as humans "tree hug" our
limiting beliefs at times to a point where all reason goes out the
window.  

Simply put, when many of us feel like believing something to be true
we only require a single shred of evidence in order to pronounce it so.

Consider the following example of "Y" approaching "X":



Y:  "Hello, my name is Mike, what's yours?"


X:  "Uh...my name is UNAVAILABLE, dork.  Now get outta my face. 
No woman could possibly want a total loser like you!"



X then proceeds to shy away from approaching another woman all
night (or all year...or all decade). 

Why?  After this brutal interaction, his self-esteem is shattered and
he internalizes and believes what he has just been told...by ONE
person.  

Conversely, however, had the woman responded in a powerfully
positive way, Mike may theoretically have been left thinking,
"I can't lose...all women LOVE me!"

Either way, logical fallacy is at play here.  There is almost never
any valid way to pronounce absolute truth upon a variable situation
based on a single event.



"ABC airlines crashed last year.  Therefore I'm never flying ABC
airlines because they always crash!"


"My very first date after the divorce was a disaster.  I'm through
with dating."


"My last girlfriend proved to be psychotic.  All women are crazy!"


"The last guy I went out with couldn't keep his paws off of me.
All men are dogs!"



While it's perfectly natural for a bad experience here and there to
"harsh our buzz", the most poignant aspect of this issue is that some
people can encounter a steady stream of evidence to the contrary
of their negative beliefs...and STILL not snap out of it. 

For example, I can't tell you how many beautiful women I went out
with who viewed themselves as "ugly" and/or "worthless". 

Why?  Well, of course, that's the last thing their last boyfriend told
them before leaving.

Meanwhile, such women were turning heads so fast that men were
getting whiplash. 

Perhaps this topic has hit home for you.  What are your own
limiting beliefs that are restricting you from a wildly successful
dating life? 

More importantly, how did those limiting beliefs get there?  If you
take an honest look at the problem you are likely to find that the
opinion of a very small minority has shaped your thoughts. 

If so, why is it you are more comfortable with limitation than with
empowerment?  Begin to see yourself as others truly see you and
lose the "logical fallacies". 

This is absolutely prerequisite to deserving what you want. 


 
 



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