[X&Y] Part Two: 7 More Lame Excuses She Might Give For "Taking It Slow"
Published: Tue, 05/02/23
IN THIS EDITION: As promised, here are seven more excuses women
might use when they want to "take things slow"...all because they're not so
sure about you yet.might use when they want to "take things slow"...all because they're not so
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PART TWO: 7 LAME EXCUSES SHE'LL GIVE FOR "TAKING
IT SLOW"
IT SLOW"
Yesterday I shared six legitimate reasons a woman might cite for
wanting to move forward carefully in a new relationship.
But as I mentioned, there are also at least seven more reasons a
woman might give that really are nothing more than pure excuses.
At this point you may be asking, "What drives the difference
between her giving a legitimate reason and a lame excuse?"
The answer is disarmingly simple. The former is based on real,
pragmatic circumstance whereas the latter is based primarily, if
not exclusively, on emotion.
The "law of the jungle" is as follows. If a woman finds you
wildly--and even irrationally--irresistible, she'll move heaven and
earth to be with you.
But if you haven't exactly rocked her world as such just yet?
Well, that's when you may need to brace yourself for her
pre-fabricated reasons for "moving slowly".
It is what it is. When you hear any of the following, it's time to
turn up the masculinity as women define it and check any "Mr. Nice
Guy" tendencies at the door.
If you really want a woman to crave you, there's no time for acting
like a cheesy, pushy sales guy who doesn't believe in his product.
Here are seven such "lame excuses" to watch out for:
1) "I've Just Been Really Busy"
Contrast this vague generalization with a very specific reason for
unavailability, like unto what I mentioned in Part One.
This really is the easiest excuse in the world for putting someone
off, perhaps indefinitely. There's just no better way to throttle a
relationship's forward movement than by controlling how much
you see and/or interact with someone else.
Other iterations of this classic include, "It's just been really
crazy the past few weeks", or "I've been slammed with other stuff".
All it really means is that you're not as high a priority as you
would be if you drove her crazy with electromagnetic attraction.
2) "I'm Not Sure What I Want"
Let me translate this for you: "You haven't particularly done
anything that compels me to want YOU yet."
Along these same lines, is "I'm not looking for a relationship
right now".
Women know exactly what they want, even if they don't realize
it yet.
Believe it or not, that actually makes sense...even if the logic
involved would make Yogi Berra jealous.
It's just that they haven't happened across it yet. And for what
it's worth, you're really no different. This isn't a gender-specific
principle.
Put this premise to the test. Go ahead and be a "big four" man who
is confident, masculine in the way women define it, makes her feel
like you have her best interests at heart and shows some character.
Then, watch her mash the accelerator pedal on the relationship
with such passion it gives you whiplash.
3) Hand Picked "Differences"
Does she keep harping on one little (or even weird) difference
between the two of you, citing it as a reason for holding back?
It doesn't really matter what it is, but unless it's a major
cornerstone of relational compatibility (religion, desire to have
kids, etc.) it's basically just a shield designed to fend off your
advances...at least for now.
4) She's Waiting To See If Another Guy Asks Her Out
The most common iteration of this one involves a recent
ex-boyfriend, but she could be talking about anyone, really.
The question is whether or not you're going to put up with being
her second choice, at best.
Now, if this is simply a "friends with benefits" thing between you
and her while she's waiting for "Mr. Right" to come sweep her off
her feet, then I'm not going there in this discussion.
But let's just say that I've seen guys plod forward with a certain
woman in hopes of winning her over even when she has plainly
stated that if so-and-so gets his act together and asks her out
she's gonna bail.
That's pretty pathetic, isn't it? Make it a point in life never to
be pathetic.
5) "I've Been Hurt In The Past"
Note the difference here between this excuse and what I explained
yesterday about specific, identifiable long-term trauma caused by a
truly abusive situation in her past.
What we're talking about in this case is a much more general,
nebulous deal where she's decided to be, for example, "cautious".
Whatever the exact words she uses are, it's all euphemistic for,
"I've still got you at the end of a very long leash". And it's
going to stay that way for the foreseeable future, unless you
create more powerful attraction in her towards you.
If you're feeling particularly bold, you can call her out. When
she drops this one on you, go ahead and ask her whether or not
she's really talking about the kind of thing we covered yesterday.
If she's not, she'll likely make that clear as a bell to you. After
all, she may be indifferent towards you but that doesn't mean she
wants to be viewed as "damaged goods".
6) "I Don't Want To Jeopardize Our Friendship"
Note that context is everything here.
If you're actually dating her, then this phrase means you're very
much in limbo between "love interest" and the "Just Be Friends
Zone". She just hasn't made a definitive motion one way or the
other yet.
But if you're not dating her yet, then what you're hearing is
simply an iteration of the all-too-common "JBF talk".
If she sees some semblance of hope for you attracting her
sexually, it's time to stop being neuter and boldly demonstrate
your masculine side. This shouldn't be that hard to do since
you were born male. It'll be okay, I promise.
7) No Real Explanation
She can't quite put her finger on it. She just thinks the two of you
ought to "take things slowly".
How frustrating is THAT one? The least she could do is get her act
together and give you a honkin' reason WHY, right?
Well, here's the surprising truth. She may or may not be holding
you at arm's length with the world's vaguest excuse attached
because she wants to.
Rather, you may have actually led in this situation.
That's right. If you've been playing it uber-cool and trying to
come off as "indifferent" like you learned at a pickup bootcamp,
she's likely just responding to your leadership.
Think about it. Why would she risk the embarrassment of throwing
herself at you and begging you to be her boyfriend when all
objective evidence shows that you're not all that into her?
If you want to move things forward with a woman, it's YOU who
needs to get the ball rolling first. Be the man.
So, have you figured out by now that it's always best to find a
woman who is actually available and ready for a relationship, if
that's what you want? Good.
And has it hit you upside the head like a 2x4 that the better you
are at creating sexual polarity (and therefore attraction) the less
likely you are to encounter resistance to moving a relationship
forward? Even better.
The caveat here is definitely that if you get too good at driving
women wild, then the pendulum is going to swing the other way.
That is, you'll have virtually every woman you meet wanting to lock
you down as their exclusive boyfriend almost immediately.
But that's a "high quality" problem for another day. Until then...
Be Good,
Scot McKay
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