[X&Y] What To Do When You Want Her...Badly (And It's Not What You Think)
Published: Wed, 05/10/23
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IN THIS EDITION: The next time you see a
woman and flat-out WANT her sexually, take
a deep breath and remember what you're
about to read.
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WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU WANT HER...BADLY
This time I'm going to let you in on what may very well be the
"secret of the universe" when it comes to creating mutual sexual
attraction between a woman and yourself and acting on it.
Let it be known that this may not fully register the first time you
read it. You may need to peruse this whole enchilada a couple of
times for it to really hit home.
So with that in mind, let's hurry up and go for it. I'll keep it
as concise as possible.
Now obviously, all of us have seen a woman and realized instantly
that we were sexually attracted to her. We may have even felt
something move in our boxers right there on the spot.
Well, when that sort of thing has happened to you, what was going
through your mind?
Somehow I doubt it was to the effect of, "You know, that's one sexy
chick. Someday when I feel like it, I'm going to have to get
around to having sex with her."
My bet is it was more like, "Whoa...I'd love to get her naked and
do unspeakably naughty things to her RIGHT NOW."
Let's face it. Horniness is NOT patient, is it? That's just how
biological urges roll. The same holds true for hunger, thirst,
breathing, sleeping, etc.
So let's call that impulse in the moment "sexual urgency".
"Sexual urgency" = "fervent desire to have sex ASAP"
This is perfectly NORMAL.
It's just like when you're hungry you want to EAT.
If you happen to find yourself at the bottom of a swimming
pool, you'll probably scramble to the surface and BREATHE
as quickly as you can.
But unlike other physiological needs we all have, sex is unique:
When satisfied in the most fulfilling manner (i.e. not through
masturbation), it requires the active participation of someone
else.
(For what it's worth, some of you may feel like issuing a rebuttal
to that last statement. But ultimately, I find it really hard to
believe you'd "rather jack off" than be with a real, live woman.
For most men that's a cheap substitute, so I invite you to shelve
any bitterness toward women that you may be feeling, if only long
enough to consider the real point here. Cool?)
So this means that in order for your desires to come to fruition,
she's going to have to agree to help satisfy them.
She's not like the air around you that you can breathe freely
without its permission, or the can of ravioli you buy at the
grocery store and wolf down without its express consent.
Now, for the record, I'm firmly of the belief that MOST women
aren't exactly going to get a room with any and every horny
guy who introduces himself and suggests doing the "wild thing"
together.
Let me be the first to admit that in the homo sapiens species there
tends to be a process associated with any sexual end result.
At this point in the whole train of events, you're hot for a
certain woman and yes, you therefore need HER to be hot for
YOU as well.
So what many, many guys do is to enact a strategy of exerting
SEXUAL PRESSURE on her.
This idea of "sexual pressure" is based on the desperate hope of
making a woman give us what we want (i.e. sex).
Welcome to where infamous pickup artist terms like "escalation",
"building compliance" and "sealing the deal" come from.
Think about it: Every single one of those terms implies a focus on
getting one's own needs met, preferably with as little negotiation
and/or resistance from the "target" as possible.
Again, this is actually the LOGICAL, and dare I say NORMAL "knee
jerk" response on the part of our reptilian brains to the
biological problem we perceive to be at hand.
But it's the WRONG one. In fact, it's the diametric opposite of
what's really going to work.
Remember, deserving what you want is almost ALWAYS the key to
success with women.
As discussed so far, both sexual urgency AND sexual pressure are
all about US and OUR needs. The former leads to the latter.
BUT...here's the big takeaway for you.
The more evolved and more effective way to proceed is to turn your
attention from how you might PRESSURE her to meet YOUR sexual
needs...and instead consider how you might create a similar sexual
urgency in HER.
That's right. Instead of trying to make her "comply", how about
influencing her to WANT YOU as badly as you want her?
After all, if BOTH of you feel that sexual urgency, what's stopping
either of you (at least at the biological level, if not the social)
from acting on it?
This couldn't make more sense, right? There's zero awkwardness, no
conniving and certainly fewer hard feelings when we genuinely
seduce a woman at her core rather than pressuring her.
Consider how needy and desperate it must look trying to "seal the
deal" with a woman by "escalating" her into "compliance". I mean,
what part do HER natural, human sexual urges play in all of that?
Such a lame-o strategy is clearly favored only by men who assume
they have NO CHANCE at creating real, sexual attraction in a woman.
That's a rookie mistake if there ever was one.
The next time you find yourself sexually attracted to a woman, get
a hold of yourself. Recognize your animal instincts, call them
out, and take control over both your emotions and your actions.
Relax, take a deep breath, and start trusting your own natural
masculinity to create SEXUAL URGENCY in her.
Trust that it will take less time than you suspect, and that
because she's a woman your masculine presence will function as
nature designed it to.
Be that "big four" man. BELIEVE confidently in your masculine
power, and then be sure to help her feel comfortable in your
presence. Show enough character to consider her HUMAN role in the
whole matter.
Sexual pressure has the OPPOSITE and more detrimental effect, by
the way. So less pressure and more masculine charm actually equals
a greater chance of sexual activity between a man and a woman.
And what do you know? That outcome is exactly what you wanted to
begin with.
Only this way SHE wants it every bit as badly as you do. What
could be better?
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