=====

WHAT'S INSIDE:  Things started off great, but now she's not
returning texts quite as often and she doesn't seem eager to see
you. Is it over?

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ARE YOU INVISIBLE TO WOMEN? IF SO, DO THIS...


Today I'm sharing a letter from Sean in San Antonio, who's not 
seeing as much excitement from a certain woman as he'd hoped.

If you want women to give you the attention you deserve, you've
got to be DIFFERENT in the best way possible.

You've got to STAND OUT from the faceless herd of average guys.

And honestly, hearing the magic words, "you're amazing" from a
woman is often the direct result of getting a lot of small things
right.

These are the steps that other guys are either too lazy to pay
attention to or are flat-out ignorant of.

But yes...when you have just a few small, simple advantages
working in your favor, women start feeling primal attraction
toward you.

So then, how on Earth to you become that guy? The one
who's DIFFERENT?

Well, I've got a complete plan for you on how to do that.
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=====



HOW TO KNOW FOR SURE IF SHE'S INTERESTED


Scot,
 
Question for you. I recently went on a first date with a really
sharp and funny girl I met on Match. In the week or so between the
time I got her number and the first date, we seemed to have a
really good connection.

We talked on the phone a couple of times and traded flirty texts
pretty regularly, most of which she initiated, so she definitely
seemed interested. We met up for drinks and I feel that it went
very well.

She even texted me later that night, "I had a really good time.
Thank you! Have a good night!"
 
Since then she's been more distant lately. She doesn't initiate
texts anymore.

When I do, she takes a lot longer to respond and doesn't show as
much interest in me as she used to.

As an example, we hadn't talked in a few days, so I texted her
today and asked how her week is going. She replied with "Very good,
my area director and VP of human resources has been here all
week...so that's been good".

I replied with a reference to a running joke that we had started
back when we first started talking.

She replied with a serious answer and did not ask me about my week,
which is really different from how she used to respond.
 
I know that it seems like she's basically not interested anymore.
However, this past Monday I invited her to go check out a good Thai
food restaurant with me that I had mentioned to her before we first
met.

She said that she needed to catch up on sleep because she was out
late on Sunday.

I said, "Alright, maybe some other time then."

She replied "That sounds good! I would love to go sometime.", which
to me still shows at least some interest, so I just really don't
know what to make of this anymore.
 
My question is, is it fair for me to address her behavior and ask
her something along the lines of "Everything okay with you? You've
seemed more distant lately." or should I just walk away?

If things are over between us, then I can accept that. I just
really want to know where I stand and, if it is over, what made her
change her mind.
 
What are your thoughts?
 
Thanks!
 

Sean (San Antonio, TX)



=====



Thanks for writing, Sean. I want to bring up a certain assumption
you're at least close to making. 

I've seen lots of other guys do the same thing. Essentially,
you're sensing a downturn in how things are going with the woman
you're seeing so you're wondering if you should just throw in the
towel and consider it "over".

Like Yogi Berra once said, "It ain't over 'til it's over." So it's
a tactical error to rush to conclusions here.

Now granted, there are other guys who do the opposite and
keep pressing on long after they should have moved on. 

But finding the true nature of how things are REALLY going with a
woman lies in 1)  honestly assessing her words AND actions, and 2)
being in touch with your own mindset, especially your confidence
level AND your own interest level.

Without those two critical components at work, you run the risk of
letting the pendulum swing too far in one direction or the other
when evaluating the situation.

On one hand, there's the sort of guy who hears a woman say, "Hi.
Nice to meet you." and automatically assumes she's utterly
uninterested because he sensed she was being "too formal". 

On the other hand, there's another guy who is flatly told to, "Get
away from me, you creep!" by a woman, and walks away thinking,
"She loves me. She's just playing hard to get."

Obviously, those examples are both gross overreactions. But that's
what can happen when we let our own imagination override the
objective evidence set in front of us.

So with that in mind, let's take a look at what's going on in your
specific example.

You mentioned that there was quite a bit of flirty interaction with
her during the time BEFORE you actually met her.

But SINCE you've met her things have dropped off a bit.

Well, objectively speaking you can clearly pinpoint that meeting
you in person was the pivotal moment.  

Regardless of how you think the evening went, she ultimately left
that first date slightly LESS excited about you.

Importantly, she wasn't completely dissuaded.  She texted you after
the date, and she has indeed been corresponding with you some
since.

Had she been completely disappointed by you, she would have either
told you in some way that she wasn't interested in continuing to
talk to you or fallen off the map rather abruptly.

Now, it's not unheard of for women to be SO averse to hurting
people's feelings that they continue trading pleasantries with guys
they really have zero interest in, but that's VERY rare...especially
among women who are online.

There is also the occasional woman who suddenly gets concerned
about coming on too strong when she really likes a guy, and ends
up demonstrating LESS interest on purpose.  

But again, that's unusual. The simple fact that she's not helping
you plan your next date kind of rules that one out anyway.

So then, the logical conclusion here is she's still marginally
interested in you...but not really as head over heels as she perhaps
expected to be.

In the interest of covering all bases, there's also a possibility
she met another guy who interests her right about the same time
the first date with you happened, and now she's not sure what to do. 

Remember, women are pretty lousy at dating more than one guy at
once, generally speaking.  So when they have two guys who interest
them, one usually takes a back seat until she sorts out how it's going
with the other one.

That would more fully explain her reticence to plan the second
date, especially given her lame excuses.

That brings us to practical steps. What should you do?

If you're confident in yourself and you believe you have options
other than her, then you'll indeed have no problem calling things
out as you see them.

Think about it. That's what makes sense to do. It's the only real
way to get to the bottom of this. 

If you avoid the issue, you're simply hoping to avoid bad news.
Essentially, that's a defense mechanism against "rejection".

That's not what confident men who are choosers would do.

So, have the conversation with her, but remain objective. 

Give the examples of how she's acting differently and let her
respond.  Don't allow yourself to take an accusatory tone or to
demonstrate worry (aka "fear of loss"). 

Simply state your observations, and be sure to stay upbeat about
it, perhaps even inserting some humor here and there.

Then, let her talk to you. Be intuitive, but be sure to hear what
she's actually telling you in the midst of that.

Ultimately, my educated guess is that you indeed have some work
to do when it comes to creating attraction. 

Should you get the opportunity to meet with her again, be sure to
present yourself as masculine in the way women define it, and focus
on making HER feel comfortable rather than concerning yourself
with whether you're messing up or not.

I realize that's easier said than done sometimes, but to be honest
for most of us as guys it's really all about relaxing, paying
attention and feeling free to express ourselves as the men we
really, truly are.  

It's when we start walking on eggshells around women that we turn
them off.  No kidding.

But if you can be even more of a "big four" man the next time you
see her, you have at least a fighting chance of turning this ship
around.