[X&Y] This Guy Is In Deep Trouble (Reader Question)

Published: Wed, 03/08/23

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WHAT'S INSIDE: When something isn't working
with women, some guys do TWICE as much of it...
hoping it will work. "Hope" is not a strategy.

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THIS MAKES HER WANT TO GET CLOSE

There's nothing better in this life than having beautiful, sexy
women wanting to be "up close and personal" with you.

If they barely know you, that's one thing. (And that certainly
doesn't suck.)

But what about a woman who's already your "significant
other"?

What if you could wake up her wild side...on demand?

Well, wait until you hear THIS.

If you've been reading this newsletter for a while, you
already know the weird (but kind of hilarious) story about
how I got to know Dr. Virgil Amend.

Virgil is the man behind the now notorious Pheromone
Advantage.

For my first seven years as a dating coach I flatly
rebuffed the dozens of overtures from companies making
wearable pheromones for guys.

In my mind it was pure snake oil. I mean, it HAD to
be...right? How could that stuff possibly work?

But after solemn recommendations from several people
I respect, I got on the phone with Virgil. He turned out to
be a completely reasonable guy, answering EVERY
pointed question I could come up with.

He even overnighted me a bottle of his "mad scientist"
potion.

That got my attention. This guy wasn't only unafraid to
let me try his stuff, he WANTED me to.

The rest is history. I got results. Emily's son David got
results. It was CRAZY...and I ate all of my words
spoken in the past about pheromones.

Well, check it out. I had some Pheromone Advantage
left, so the other night I decided to run a little
"experiment".

Who knows why I didn't think of this before, but check
it out...I wore it to bed.

Holy wow. I don't want to embarrass Emily here, but
let's just say I felt like somebody had unleashed a
Bengal Tiger under my sheets.

It started out with a deliberate but subtle snuggle.

Then a bit of late night playfulness (e.g. "rawr").

And THEN it all degenerated into mayhem too
explicit to talk about here.

And seven hours later? Let's just say I didn't need
an alarm clock. "Morning surprises" don't get any
better.

I've already revealed too much.

Here it is: If you have a girlfriend (or wife) who you
want to suddenly become a little "friskier", I HIGHLY
RECOMMEND getting science on your side.

You've just got to try this, like I did:

Wake Up Her "Wild Side" (15% Off, Plus Free Soap & Shipping)

When I first introduced you to Dr. Virgil Amend
long ago, I knew I had a LOT of explaining to do.

But since then the testimonials have been pouring
in. Several on Virgil's site these days are actually
from YOU guys.

By now we all know how well it works with women
you interact with when you're out and about.

Pheromone Advantage doesn't replace being a
"big four" man, but it sure wakes up a woman's
feminine side.

Having now discovered the power of it for those
of us who have a woman in our life already, all
I can say is "getchasum":

Weird, But Works Wonders

Yes...the special "SCOT15" coupon that
gives you a 15% discount plus free shipping
AND free pheromone soap on multi-bottle
orders is back.

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READER QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS

Hi Scot,

Thank you very much for all your e-mails on dating. But I was a bit
too late to read them because I had already lost the girl that I
loved.

I chased her (she even told me beforehand not to chase her) and
preached to her.

Maybe this was my mistake, even if it wasn't I don't have much money,
(I'm on social security and have a very small check, and I walk with
two canes although by next spring I may be able to walk without
canes).

This lady was my therapist, and I loved her deeply. Even though I
was never able to date her once.

I wrote her five love letters and gave them to her at work. She
would not freely give me her address, yet it's in the phone book.

On her last week at work I asked her for her address because I said
that I wanted to send her a gift. She said keep your money.

And there was another day that she said don't write me no more.
Yet this women is a lot like me.

We have so many similarities and like personalities. When I was
around her I felt so good and was happy. I could make her laugh
easily too.

Do I still have a chance with her, or have I "pulverized her" as
another lady therapist told me?

She likes her church very much. It's nondenominational and I'm
Baptist. And she read one of my sermons that I wrote which attacked
her bible. She could not read further.

Wow...! Have I lost her? Can I write her another letter, and send her
chocolate and roses?

I had told her that I was going to get her diamond earrings for
Christmas and she said that if I did she would not accept them. Or
was it my walking abilities that she can't deal with?

When I get discharged from therapy I will look for a full time job
because I will need more money to make her feel more secure.

Maybe money is the issue, and not my disability. I've had two neck
surgeries, and don't drive. Yet my neck rotation I feel is good
enough to drive next year.

I will see my neurosurgeon in January. Well Scot, am I in any
condition for love?

I haven't dated in years. I'm 54 years old, and she's 40. I've had
sex only once, when I was 18.

She was once engaged to a wounded soldier, and then told me that
she fooled around. I told her that I understand what she did, and
that I was still interested in her. I hope that she gives me
another chance.


Sincerely Yours,

Harrison (Cheyenne, WY)

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Hello Harrison. Thanks for writing.

Wow, man. I don't know where to start.

Wait a minute...yes I do.

I'm getting more and more e-mails like yours, so I'm sensing
I should cover some of the fundamentals a bit here.

So here it is, my good man. I've got to tell it to you like it is.

If chasing her profusely and trying to buy her affection wasn't
enough to permanently deep-six your chances with this woman
(or ANY woman, for that matter), you added fuel to the crash-
and-burn when you thumped her overall worldview over the
head in a judgmental manner.

I mean, if you can only date Baptists who believe as you do,
then that's all good. I can respect that. So be it.

But please don't punish this poor woman for not meeting your
standards even as you are haranguing her for a date non-stop.
That's just bizarre.

It's especially so when coupled with the fact that she has an
admitted history of cheating, but you can overlook that.

All of this is really beside the point though.

For what it's worth, so is your injury and so is your financial
situation.

Those are limiting beliefs that I can cite example after example
of guys overcoming successfully.

The heart of the issue here is this: Did you really think that
pouring out such a lugubrious display of childlike puppy-love
punctuated by a frighteningly reckless desire to attempt to buy
her affection--followed by a summary indictment of her core
belief system--was going to go well for you here?

She's a grown woman who, like other women, is most likely
attracted to a man who she perceives to have options...and
who knows how to interpret his world effectively and make solid
decisions.

The problem here is what you have done hasn't worked,
and your apparent solution is to do twice as much of it.

This is the "management style" that has tanked major telecom
companies, Internet start-ups, automakers, airlines and banking
institutions all over the world.

It looks to me like you are doing what you've always done,
hoping things will somehow turn out differently.

And as business author Rick Page said so eloquently, "hope is
NOT a strategy".

When something isn't working, you've got to find a new plan.

And more importantly, when a woman tells you clearly and
specifically that she is not interested, you have to seek your
fortune elsewhere.

There is no such thing as "another chance" with this woman
because there was never a FIRST chance.

I mean, she wasn't exactly giggling and playing with her hair
even as she coquettishly purred, "Well, I don't know..."

This woman has told you in no uncertain terms to leave her
alone. She even has her coworkers in on trying to get you to
BACK OFF.

Do you realize she probably dreads seeing you as a
customer at this point?

Sure, she may force a smile and be nice to you, but you are
creeping her out every time you show up...followed invariably
by frustrating her to no end.

Is that how you want to be perceived by women?

Or is YOUR perception that those women are perceiving
you differently than I am suggesting?

If you cannot see that, you're going to have to trust me on
this one.

You mentioned that you make her laugh easily. Is she being
playful and fun or is she laughing nervously as she shakes
her head?

OK...enough "tough love". But man, in order to to take the
first step you've got to see the forest for the trees here from
a social perspective.

And in order to get this right from now on, that FIRST step is
to work on your self-confidence and self-esteem.

You've got more excuses than a teenage boy in the girls'
locker room, and your efforts are about equally as futile as
a result.

Until you are okay with who you are, you cannot expect a
woman to be either. Remember always: Women follow your
lead.

To some degree, the fact that you are in physical therapy
and the woman you like is assigned as your therapist puts
you naturally subject to her lead from the start, which is a
disadvantage.

She probably also has a mandate from her employer
prohibiting her from dating clients, no matter what.

But these challenges become insurmountable when you
try to buy and/or otherwise beg for a woman's romantic
attention because you don't believe that YOU are good
enough to attract her on your own merits.

By the way, where was the money for the diamond
earrings going to come from? Were you going to mortgage
your future in some way in an attempt to "buy" this woman's
favor?

Please tell me you were kidding about that one.

Once you believe you are a man worth pursuing, you will
stop chasing and begin seeking to make women's days
brighter as a masculine, confident man without going for
the "hard sell" up front.

The latter only makes you look desperate and needy.
And it's a heck of a lost more costly--in terms of time,
energy, frustration AND dollars.

Give women time to recognize what you should already
know at that point: you are a man of high value who
deserves a great woman. Then you will have no problem.

But first, you've got to make sure you deserve what you
want.

Even though this particular opportunity is a NON-
opportunity, NOW is the time to change your fortunes
going forward.

You do this by leading. Lead by becoming the man who
represents the "big four" (masculinity, confidence, ability
to inspire a sense of safety/security, and character).

Put aside the need to try to impress her and/or buy her
stuff. And by all means resist the urge to make this
woman your very life purpose.

That part about getting a new job just to make her
comfortable scared the heck outta ME...and I'm not
even the object of your affection.

Someday, after A LOT of water has passed under the
bridge, she may be naturally impressed if you can be a
"Big Four" guy. Then you may get a "Mulligan".

But don't bet the farm on that (or mortgage it for diamond
earrings).

Women are human beings just like you and me, and
you've really dug a deep hole for yourself here.

So work on the "big four" for the time being, and sooner
than later women will respond much more positively to
you.

I promise. You only can go up from here, right?

Be Good,

Scot McKay

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OK, I'm going to lay it on the line here in a way you
seldom see me do in a newsletter.

Some of you guys out there are letting days, weeks,
months and years slip away.

I have a mountain of e-mails from guys (some in
their forties or fifties) who have been making the
same mistakes with women for decades.

They tell me they want things to change. They tell
me they want to get better with women.

And when I answer their e-mails or talk to them on
the phone, it's with startling predictability that I
soon discover these guys are unwilling to sacrifice
the comfort of the status quo in favor of doing
anything about it.

When all is said and done, A LOT more is being
SAID than DONE.

If you write me and want to see results, you can
expect me to be dedicated to helping you achieve
those results.

Otherwise, if you're really more comfortable with
being all alone without the company of women in
your life, don't play games with yourself pretending
to want change.

So my challenge tonight is for those of you who
actually want to start seeing REAL success with
women.

I don't care if you are a 75 year-old virgin. You can
GET results if you WANT results.

Then again, you may be more like the guy I talked
to who has been with more women than he can
count, partied at the Playboy Mansion and was
actually hired by clubs to sit on premise and chat
up women (I'm not making this up).

THAT guy hired me because what he really wants
is one great woman in his life.

Whoever you are, you already know what "success
with women" means to you.

You also know I've got what it takes to stand in the
gap with you and coach you to success. So send
me an email:

scot@deservewhatyouwant.com

Or get on my schedule here to talk about it:

https://www.scotmckay.net/schedule

You can put me to work for you, or you can stick
with the "status quo".

What's more painful? A future that looks just like
the past, or actually standing up and doing
something about it?

Be Good,

Scot McKay

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