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WHAT'S INSIDE:  Shouldn't we forget
about all of our ex-girlfriends once we
get a new one?

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THEY'RE ALL THE SAME (OR SO IT SEEMS)


The other day I was at the grocery store in the checkout line
when I saw something out of the corner of my eye that hit me
like a bolt of lightning.

My head snapped around at the cover of some women's
magazine up there on the rack that had just caught my
attention. I had to do a double take.

As crazy as it sounds, for a second there I could have
SWORN that my wife Emily was staring back at me.

But then I noticed that the woman on the magazine cover's
hair was longer.

As it turned out, it was actually a famous actress...one I'd
always thought was one of the most underrated celebrity
hotties of all time. Go figure.

Yet, I'd never made the connection. It had never occurred
to me how closely my wife and that actress resembled each
other.

They're both definitely my "type", for sure.

It's no secret that I have a very clear "type" of woman I like
the best, and yes...my wife is most certainly a primo example
thereof.

But lately I've started to honestly consider if Emily is actually
the ultimate example thereof.

That thought process has in turn led me to wonder if the
fullness of my actual "type" is something only I can uniquely
relate to.

What exactly do I mean by that?

Well, it's a funny thing. Over the years, the more women I
dated the more defined my "type" became.

My taste in music and in adult beverages has become more
eclectic.

But not my taste in women.

Although that may seem a bit counter-intuitive at first, it really
makes perfect sense.

The more women you date, the more you know what you truly
like--and don't like--about certain ones relative to others.

But a truly weird phenomenon has taken hold for me, and I'm
going to go on a limb here to see if you can relate.

When you think about what kind of woman would be your
"type", if you're like me your first thoughts turn toward what she
physically looks like and perhaps her personality characteristics.

I think that's how most people go about considering what their
"type" is.

But have you ever stopped to think that maybe--just maybe--
there's a more subconscious component to it?

Could it be that you've also stored certain more unique
idiosyncrasies of women from your past in your data bank,
check marked them as "desirable" and assimilated them into
your image of the paragon of femaleness?

The only way I know how to describe this is to spill it out on the
table in plain English.

I'm 100% convinced that my wife Emily is a stunningly accurate
"mashup", if you'll pardon such a bizarre description, of all of my
favorite girlfriends from the past...even down to some traits that I
automatically assumed were flat-out unique to just one other
woman.

Just to be clear, I'm not actively comparing her to someone else.

It's more like a completion than a comparison...and a more
comprehensive one than I ever reasonably thought possible, let
alone expected.

It's like she represents the fulfillment of everything I like most
about women, no matter how subtle or esoteric the traits may be.

I know...it's weird.

For example, Emily has the world's most endearing hiccup.  Yes,
hiccup.  The only other girl I've ever known with that same hiccup
was my favorite girlfriend in college.

Practically every day Emily will do something that reminds me of
how insanely granular my "type" really is.

She can feed the dog, read our kids a story, get that "I've got a
secret" look on her face, concentrate on whatever she's reading on
her iPad or even giggle a certain way and I'll immediately
recognize what I'm seeing or hearing as something I've observed
before elsewhere...and was attracted to.

And invariably, I remember exactly where I had observed it.  It's
always associated with a girl from my past who I really, really
liked.

Ultimately, I'm not sure if it's "politically correct" to talk like
this.  After all, aren't we supposed to magically forget our
ex-girlfriends when we find "The One" and marry her?

But if you ask me, I think the very purpose of all that dating I
did was to get as clear a picture of who I really want as possible,
not to sweep it all under the carpet.

From that perspective, to say the woman in my life is the
fulfillment of everything I've ever liked about all of my favorite
ex-girlfriends should be the ultimate compliment.

And guess what?  Emily does take it as a compliment.

There are at least two good reasons for that.  First of all, she
knows I chose her over all other options.  Second, she went
through a similar process in her dating life.

All of this points to a very clear recommendation from me to
you.

Life is WAY too short to be a "serial dater".  Meet as many
women as you can and let your conscious and unconscious
mind sort out your likes and dislikes.

All the while let your own personal "type" develop like a
Polaroid photo until you can see it very clearly...in someone
else.

It's an exhilarating and almost shocking thing to realize
you've done due diligence to the process and you really
have discovered what you really wanted.

The journey itself can be a wild ride, although I've always
believed it can and should be a thrilling one.  But no
matter what, the destination is glorious.


Be Good,

Scot McKay




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