[X&Y] Are You A Jerk Just Because She SAYS You Are?

Published: Fri, 07/07/23


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IN THIS EDITION: She calls you a
"jerk". Is she right?
 
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ARE YOU A JERK JUST BECAUSE SHE SAYS YOU ARE?


My goal today is to save you a whole lot of grief.  I'm sure that
has to sound good to you, so read on.

I firmly believe that most of us as guys literally walk on
eggshells around most women because we fear coming off as a "jerk".

Scratch the "coming off" part, actually.  I really think most of us
are mortally afraid that we actually ARE jerks.

How did we get to this point?

Well, never mind the basic fact that we're repeatedly told that
"nice guys" finish last and "women love jerks".  That really messes
with our heads, especially when we're almost all decent guys.

We're made to feel as if we should WANT to be a "jerk".

But the fact of the matter is that only women with low self-esteem
truly seek out "jerks" to be in relationships with.  And you can
bet those women will only resent any man who holds them in higher
esteem than they hold themselves--which is very little.

So the man with a woman who's willing to be treated poorly IS
treated poorly in return.  How ironic is that?

And as for being "nice", either having a "hidden agenda" like a
cheesy sales guy or being a doormat because one fears loss is NOT
to be confused with being a personable, charismatic man who does
right in this world. 

Above and beyond that aspect of things, I really think most of us
suffer from "Jerk-O-Phobia" because we hear from SO many women that
we're ALL idiots and/or jerks (aka "I/Js", as I've coined in the
past).

But really, though...is every one of the stinkin' lot of us no good
to the core?

Let's clear this up once and for all.  You're NOT a "jerk" simply
because a woman supposes you must be.

Maybe every other guy she's ever been associated with was an "I/J",
so she's drawn the conclusion that all of the ones she'll meet in
the future will be also.

That is HER problem, not yours.

Yes, she's missing out on a great guy like you with an attitude
like that...and that's the way it SHOULD be.  Therefore, don't let
HER problem become YOUR problem.

You're not a jerk because you have sexual interest in a woman
either.  You're male and she's female, so that's perfectly natural.

What would be weird is if you DIDN'T have any sexual interest in
her.

So again...if any woman thinks you're some kind of predatory pervert
with bad intentions (aka "I/J") because you're a sexual human
being, that's HER problem.

She's the one with the hangup about sex.  And who knows?  Maybe
she's got her reasons for that.  But again...you shouldn't feel
compelled to make HER problem YOUR problem.

Additionally, I've actually seen instances where some particularly
low-end women actually prey upon a man's Jerk-O-Phobia to get their
selfish needs met.  

As it turns out, the Jerk-O-Phobes among us tend to be easily
manipulated into doing just about anything "nice" for even the most
demanding virago of a chick imaginable.

If you've ever seen the Nicholas Cage flick It Could Happen To
You, that's pretty much the central point of the movie.

Let me spell it out for you.

If you are an upstanding "big four" man of character who respects
women, wants to treat them right, has straightforward and well-
meaning intentions (including giving them amazing orgasms), aren't 
addicted, aren't leading a life of crime and are emotionally
stable then you've pretty much checked all the boxes on the
NON-jerk checklist.

If you're that guy, then don't let any woman inside your head who
tries to pin the "I/J" tag on you.  Next.

If you're NOT that guy, look in the mirror and make things right in
your life.   Otherwise, the next chick who calls you a "jerk" will
have a solid point well taken.  That would suck.


Be Good,

Scot McKay
 
 

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