[X&Y] Is This A "Mercy Date", Or What?

Published: Sat, 07/08/23



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IN THIS EDITION: Will you be her lover,
or "just a friend". The clock is ticking...

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IS THIS A "MERCY DATE", OR WHAT?


Not a lot of Americans are interested in the game of cricket.

But over the course of my travels to places where it's wildly
popular I've become quite a fan.

Essentially, it's somewhat similar to baseball.  In fact, matches
for the abridged version (called "Twenty20") typically run about
as long as a baseball game.  

But one MAJOR difference is that each side gets its respective
chance at creating offense all at once, as opposed to having nine
separate innings.

This means whichever team goes second knows exactly how
many points they have to score in order to win.

As such, a phenomenon known as "scoreboard pressure" often
becomes a factor in the match.  If the team who bats last isn't
keeping pace with the score they need to achieve, they start feeling
the pinch as the game goes on.

Really, it's not all that different from the psychological dynamic
when a team is behind in the late stages of a football, soccer,
basketball or even baseball game.

But I'm intrigued by how cricket has bestowed a term like
"scoreboard pressure" on the whole phenomenon.

That's probably because in a weird way I think it can also apply to
our relationships with women.

Take the "Just Be Friends Zone" for example.

Now certainly, there are times when a woman meets a guy and
decides very quickly that she's just not so into him.  He's a "nice
guy", however, so she slots him as "just a friend" in a matter of
minutes.
 
Hey...it's not like he was rude or disrespectful or anything, so she
doesn't want to flatly "reject" him or be mean to him in some other
way.

But other times something different happens.

She may meet a guy and decide to go out on a date with him because
he "checks the boxes" of what she SAYS she's looking for in a guy,
at least logistically.

But after the first date, she's somehow still not "feeling it" for him.

She can't place her finger on why, exactly.  And she might even be
frustrated with herself about it because she really WANTS to find
this guy attractive.

So what does she do?  She talks about it with her friends and
decides to give him another chance--hoping everything will sort of
"kick into gear" on the second date.

That's when the "scoreboard pressure" starts.

And guess what?  It's HER who feels it, not the guy.

I mean, the dude himself could be slopping through these first couple
of dates thinking everything is going perfectly well.

But SHE is the one who's genuinely hoping and praying that some
"spark" will ignite...and soon.

You see, she WANTS him to make that happen.  She's not going out
with him because she wants to have someone else in her life who's
"just a friend".  She legitimately wants a man who turns her on
sexually at a deep, primal level.

But she also won't endure the frustration she's feeling forever.

If she isn't getting horny for him by the end of the second date,
there MAY be one last chance to make it happen on a third date.

But probably not.  The time clock will have expired and she'll
instinctively feel compelled to move on.

Game over.  Score it as a loss for the home team.

What a bummer for everyone involved, right?  All too often we as
dudes are blindsided by the "JBF Talk" we get two or three dates in.

But other times we even see it coming, yet we do nothing about it.

Guys, the good news is that YOU have the power to relieve her
"Scoreboard Pressure", if not keep it from ever being a factor to
begin with.

You do that by being masculine as women define it. 

Have a PLAN when you meet with her.  Show some initiative and
ambition in your life.

Be courageous when necessary and remain calm, cool and collected
at all times.

Have her best interests at heart and think in terms of what's going
to make her feel safe and comfortable in your presence.

And for Pete's Sake (whoever he is) don't for a second think that
you should feel SHAME for being a man.  Be proud of it.  Talk like
a man, act like a man, and acknowledge that SHE'S female fearlessly.

If you can do that there won't be any more "scoreboard pressure".
Only sweet victory...for both of you. 


 
 

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